A Bite In The Air.....

There's a bite in the air, a chill on the ground

This time of year restless spirits abound...

The laughter of children, dressed up for the night

Give them a treat, or be prepared for a fright....

Day loses it's battle, night extends it's dark power

Beware if you're around at the witching hour...

All Hallows Eve, a day celebrated through time

Ignore not it's meaning, ignorance a crime....

Summer days are long gone,  the harvest is in

Winter approaches; Let the hauntings begin...

Witches, werewolves, vampires and ghouls

The dead walk tonight!! Beware, ignorant fools...

The Fading Tide

                     Ominous as the sinking night
                     Chills of despair and hot blurring sight
                     Wafting high the crashing kite
                     Wasted, burning, wicked, contrite

                     Lowly silence deep inside
                     Clawing away with each passing stride
                     Brightly tarnished ancient pride
                     All the future be denied

                     Sighing upon the broken dawn
                     Vastly stripped the naked pawn
                     Every value wayward worn
                     Stagnant be the image torn

                     Ocean of the salty sea
                     Washing clean the screaming plea
                     Deep inside an evil glee
                     Joyous past did be free

Words

Our words cripple aspiration, tongues slashing and burning
hopes are razed to the ground.
We grind each other down,
unthinking in our ferocity.
My big feet fit easily,
placed firmly in my big mouth
my speech kicks
your head in
I sledgehammer you,
softly still you're strong,
unbroken
Everything I say is nothing,

You are where no one should have to go
that purgatory of gentle let-downs
the torture of a thousand reassurances
cutting deeper, ever deeper.
I'm all too human in my vain stupidity
I wish I could say what you wanted
If I could deliver your wish I would face it,
I'm no hero, no god, no good, no better than anyone else

I Hear Your Words

I hear your words, they sound like mine

I understand every line.

Screaming inside at the top of your lungs

Make it stop! I just can’t take anymore!

But it’s not true, so more comes.


I grab your arm, don’t fight me, I say.

I understand the urge to run away.

I know you don’t want to hurt or cause me pain

But life goes on, I’ll hurt anyway.

I know what it’s like, crying in the rain.


Don’t you understand, don’t you see?

Maybe you can take the time to understand me.

Look in the mirror. Aren’t there pieces missing?

If we can find them together,

wouldn’t that be worth something?


Don’t be afraid to look beyond your control.

The understanding you seek may behind that closed door.

Whatever your hiding, or hiding from

Really, don’t worry, I can take it and more.

The Kiss

He has yet to find a kiss
that would feel as sweet
as his kiss would,
though looking to examine
every man's lips
to find that kiss
that would feel as sweet
as his kiss would,
to find that kiss
that would feel as true
as their kiss would.
If he only knew
how passionately
he wants
to kiss his lips,
fearing no other kiss
might prove as true
as their kiss would,
searching for a kiss
examining
every other man's lips
for that kiss that's lost
that kiss that would
feel as sweet and true
as his kiss would.
Somewhere
there must be a kiss
that would feel
as sweet and true
as his's would feel,
if they could kiss.

The One?

                  I've seen those looks before, the intensity in your eyes;
                  I can't help but remember, all the pain and the lies.
                  I've felt the tenderness, of a hand stroke my face;
                  but it never meant a thing, when I was so easily replaced.
                  These words are all familiar, I've heard them time and time again,
                  there's a strong tendency to believe, but I'll get hurt if I let you in.
                  I can say there's something different, and that you're someone I can trust,
                  but I'll soon find I'm mistaken, confusing sincerity with lust.
                  I've lived through this all, the wonderful fun-filled days,
                  which are always an illusion, because I soon learn of their ways.
                  When will that look, the one I see in your eyes,
                  mean that I'm allowed to fall, because you will not tell me lies?
                  And the tenderness I feel as you gently touch my cheek,
                  when will it be okay for this touch to make me weak?
                  When will the words be true, honest and sincere
                  and when can I trust that you will always be near.
                  When can I trust that you truly care about me?
                  and know you'll be there, what will it take to see?
                  Is it possible for happiness to be more than an illusion,
                  Without me having to worry about its conclusion?
                  Your look, your touch, your word, your ways,
                  how can I be certain it will last more than a few days?
                  There's no way to be sure, only one way to see,
                  and that's to be strong, I think you're the one for me.

The Dream Dragon

Cross words and traded looks.
Looks that trigger head flashes
In a moment the wall is up
We're perched on opposite sides
Of our one-acre king sized bed
It’s odd because the way we sleep
We could rent the extra space
But sleep comes hard tonight
I finally give up and study you
Study the curve of your shoulder
Across the glacier of sheets separating us
While I memorize the crest of your cheek
A night frown stirs your face
I find myself thinking about me
Wondering why I flew at you
You frown again and whimper
Without thinking I glide toward you
Crossing the glacier of rumpled sheets
Parting trecherous iceberg pillows
Until I'm stroking your forehead
I feel you settle into me
Making me feel like a knight
Who just killed the dream dragon

Of your nightmares.

Pieces Of A Dream

O’ Moonlight,
starry sky,
secrets,
dreams
and all things that occupy the night.
Inside, a dark wilderness,
forever, intricate & mysterious,
it is a world beyond things that make sense.
The scape of eternal October,
haunting & romantic.
A huddle of trees, so ever, ever green,
edging on the wild, grey ocean.
Dazzling creatures stirring
deep within the silence,
otherwise an eerie quiet.
I am lost in the moment,
in between the tick and the tock of time,
in between the light
where images rhyme,
where shadows hide,
and the wise, yellow swarm of owl eyes.
The stars, curious in their arrangement,
offer no reason or advice,
only a clutter of white
in their vague, cobalt empire.
Illuminary illusions,
these shards of light
were crushed out long ago,
but how oddly the night remembers
unstilling the darkness
with their strange protrusion
crowning the world with their phantom existence.
I am confused, I look for clues
in water wells...
in a tigers eye...
in witches closets.
I touch the moon,
a golden pool,
or a moody Cyclops.
In my hand, a photograph
of a laughing wizard in a purple hat.
I bow to admire
a motley caterpillar
and wonder why he does not have a hookah?
Dangling from the trees
are words not leaves,
and I carefully choose each one to put in my pocket,
I am saving them for later,
I am saving them for my poem.
I toss, I turn
and emerge awake
and the world suddenly collapses.

Next Time

                                   When the world was young,
                                      our love was forged,
                                 made to stand the tests of time,
                                    and shine all the brighter.

                                        I like to believe,
                                that we've loved through the ages,
                            sometimes together, sometimes from afar,
                                  but, always destined to meet,
                              because seperate, we are not complete.

                                 I've waited so long to find you,
                                         in this lifetime,
                               each day from the moment we met,
                                       is a beautiful thing,
                                   not always easy, but special,
                                because you are a part of my life.

                             I wouldn't trade even a single moment,
                                just pray that I have many more,
                                and that in our next incarnation,
                                      we meet much earlier.

The Mirror

You are the mirror of my love,

You give my cold hearth a warming fire.
Your lips exhale the oxygen I need,

You are my love, my one hearts desire.

I am the man, who loves you best,

I am the knight, on my sturdy beast,

I will guard and protect you always,

I will bring you to lifes harvest feast.

You are the moon in my darkest night,

You are my life and will be my death,

You give my heart its beat, 

You give my life its meaning. 

Tears, Falling Like Rain

     He reaches deep inside his heart,
     to find something that no longer remains.
     He struggles to overcome it,
     but can find nothing to gain...
     He cries in his dreams,
     about times now passed away.
     He hides from his desires,
     as his heart begins to fade...
     He trusts like an angel,
     and believes still the same.
     You could tell him anything,
     his trust would not evade...
     He endures his passion,
     and dwells within his dreams.
     He strives forward blindly,
     his will unbroken, or so it seems...
     He revels at small triumphs,
     the praise and glory now washed away.
     He regrets not looking back,
     its too late, someone took it away...
     He fought back the tears,
     that fell like rain,
     He fought back diligently,
     while he fought the pain...
     He wagers everything,
     with nothing to lose, and nothing to gain.
     He fades into oblivion, unnoticed,
     tears falling like rain.
     Who is he? Just me.........

Scars Of Yesterday

                        The pain we feel within, you see, at times we have to share,
                         Without a release of sorrow, the pain just lingers there,

                           I came across a box, today, I wish I'd left it closed,
                         Just like the box, Pandora, much pain became exposed.

                           Inside, were all my memories, some of them of you,
                      Most were of, forgotten times, when skies weren't always blue.

                 I'd thought, I'd purged things from my heart, but now, they've all come back,
                       I wish I hadn't, cleared the way, and opened the box, so black.

                       Someday, I hope to find the key, to the box, I found that day,
                         For when I do, I'll lock the box, and throw the key, away.

                          Look inside a lonely heart, and help me find that key,
                          Help me close that box, today, and set my spirit, free.

                     There's too much pain, in yesterday, and tomorrow's yet to share,
                        The time it has, to heal the scars, that yesterday put there.

The Battle

                         Surf Roars, moon hides, and the clouds roll on in
                        wild nights like this call up the turbulence within
                          Is it pain, is it sorrow, is it memories stirred?
                       Is it you drawing me closer to your soul as it were?

                    Ocean breeze it is fierce and my hair whips at my face
                        and time seems to stand still to let me embrace
                    all the darkness and the moisture and the elements here
                        to remember the passion we once used to share

                       The darkness of night dwells within my own soul
                        the pain and the crying  and the cold takes it toll
                           I remember it as in a dream sequence here
                        yet its clear and around me and calling me near

                         How many years ago did I stand up out there
                        watching you leave me to go who knows where?
                            and never a tear did dare leave my eyes
                           the pain and the passion I kept well inside

                     Some named me 'callus', some called me 'quite strong'
                       never a one knew the pain in my heart or my song
                            to the ocean I cried deep inside all along
                      and shared the emotions all the days and nights long

                      And tonight I remember, the storms brought it back
                         I can feel you beside me as I wander this track
                      to my heart you've returned once again and we know
                      you should never have left me to do battle long ago

Together

                                       Two worlds that will tear us apart
                                     One love that would bring us together,
                                      Two minds that are deeply confused
                                      Two hearts that could talk on forever,
                                       Two tears I will always be crying
                                       One smile I will always be smiling,
                                     For it's only when I close my eyes and
                                        fall asleep that we are together,
                                     But when I open my eyes there will be
                                     no more dreams so I wish of the things
                                               that could be,
                                          Only If we were together.

Hide Me

hide me, oh world
behind your tattered wings
justify my pain
with a song.
and it's you who sings
of the sorrow of the dreams
that are dying.
The world is what it seems
empty, shallow, and without a light
to guide us through the night
of day.
Failure abounds, i push it all away
to wander and grow old
alone.
Bathed in my misfortunes;
dressed in my mistakes.
i wait and i wait to see if my heart awakes
oh and i hate, how i hate
without delay, another day comes
to torch my soul with fame.
although i remain
without a name
i'm forced to play the game
of life
alone..

1993

Depression and Pain

Head spinning, soul wrenching, heart crushing darkness
What to do, where to turn, who to trust?
My stomach sick, my head throbbing, heart racing
Panick. Worry. The end?

I look for the light, the right path. I try, I really do.
Burst tyre.... what next. Is this a sign? The end?
Been through, and survived, so much before..
But this? Why does this stab like a knife?

My core, my security, my existence threatened.
I feel so tired, too tired, enough is enough.
Where now? What happened to my life..
This weight too much. Just too much.

This is Life?

The heart beats, but there's no pulse
The mind works, but there are no dreams
Only born to live day to day
Surviving on survival, week to week

Waking up is the hardest part of the day
Knowing that you have to suffer just to get by
Doesn't seem fair that others have it better
Head tilted upwards and asking the clouds why?

Workplace is cold and dismal
Loneliness, a trusting companion
Robotic and lifeless in the daily chores
Struggle to pretend you're still human

Communication becomes a lost art
Those voices can't reach your ears
Only the work keeps you occupied
To temporarily ease their evergrowing fears

Come home to an empty house
Greeted by the walls, the furniture and such
Sitting in a chair that faces a distant window
Reflection screams that you're life isn't worth much

Tricked

He tricked himself,
into not believing,
thinking he was trapped
the same as the others
were trapped,
among the mirror reflections
he had created
in the maze.
He had not left
a thread of hope
to follow,
so as to get beyond
the sad eyed cynicism.
He only wanted
to come nearer
to the melancholic tone
of that voice,
as distrusted every word
as if it were another word
meant for someone else
never really for him.
It is so very hard
to keep from wanting
to shatter all the mirrors,
to break through
all the walls of the maze.
It is the hardest thing
to do,
as he left no thread
to follow,
so as to come nearer,
from one side
to the other,
from away to nearer
to where she is
beyond the tragic mirrors
and the sad walls
that he'd created.

Desolated Doom

                     Silence; broken only by the whisper
                       Of my breath softly dispersing into
                       An ocean of empty, dark, blackened hue,
                     Encapsulating the light I hold near.
                     Calls of invisible souls screeching fear;
                       Their silhouette hiding coffin and pew;
                       Telling me to join them and what they'd do -
                     They'd black and rack and hack my soul to sear.

                     Water formed from fire floods my body;
                       Each droplet so saline it burns my cheeks;
                       But the pain I feel is nothing compared
                     To pain I know; oh how I long for me
                       To sleep and never wake again for weeks,
                       Or forever - if only someone cared.

I Love You

                                   I can't stop thinking of you
                                your eyes. that look. your smile.
                                     it's all too surreal
                                   I feel a sickness inside
                                thinking of you makes me sad
                                     you are so distant
                                       so far away
                                       yet so close
                                  why can't I talk with you?
                                 why can't I write to you?
                                   why am I afraid of you?
                                 because you might ignore me
                                      or laugh at me
                                    or make me feel bad
                                  for how I feel about you
                                   I should just let you be
                               but I can't stop thinking about you
                                     it won't go away
                                 it’s like a cancer in my mind
                              your name keeps ringing in my ears
                                 your image will not go away
                                  no matter how hard I try
                                   I'm hoping for a miracle
                                   the more I think about it
                                   the more my heart says

                                       I love you....

My Quivering Soul

                       No. Really
                       I do know how I am
                       I'm all messed up
                       that's nothing new

                       I don't know what to do
                       or who to be
                       or what you expect from me
                       it really doesn't matter anyway
                       you can scream at a wall until it breaks
                       but in the end

                       it's still broken,

                       How do you change you?
                       who is it that I have turned into
                       it's not me
                       it's not you

                       God, please don't let it be them
                       it must be them
                       because
                       I will wreck you
                       and I will use you
                       I don't know
                       you

                       Please, don't go
                       'cause I am scared
                       what if I really am who I came from
                       I know I push you away
                       what if it really is all my fault
                       stay
                       cause I am not me

                       Something
                       has been taken
                       from my quivering
                       soul

                       Love.

Even In Death

I've always known some of what you did,
Even when I was too young to know what,
The damage that you did to me,
The pain that I would eventually endure.
 
When I was too young to comprehend,
You did to me what things you could.
The pain of true memories and understanding,
Came later, once I understood, once I knew.

You did to me what things you could
While I lay dumb, deaf and blind. The hate
Came later, once it came back to life in me.
Then sorrow over all that could have been.

While I lay dumb, deaf and blind, the hate
was born in me, even as I watched you die
Later in life, I knew, I'd waited. I watched
life eat you up. But I didn't know it all.

Years would pass, years lost, chances lost.
 As I was in reality. I never stood a chance
Not in this hustle bustle world. I tried to
fit it, to belong. You didn't allow me.


The pain of memories destroyed so much,
Even decades after you rotted in your grave,
You still poison me, my life, my chances.
Even in death you controlled me.

I have fought mighty battles, conquered pain,
To allow myself to know it ALL. Everything
You did or arranged for me. The abuse. The pain.
You will not control me forever, You Will Not!


While I lay dumb, deaf and blind, you tortured
You corrupted my innocent life. Around us, 
All others too were deaf, dumb and blind.
How fortunate for you. But no longer.


I have eyes, I can see all that you perpetrated,
I have a tongue, it speaks of evils past,
I have ears, I wait to hear your screams...
As you burn in hell.

A Love For Eternity

As times roll by and feeling proud,
I hear your voice it seems so loud,
Above the crowds I listen too,
The sweetest sound I ever knew.
Yet in lifes long train and journey be,
To love and cherish and honor thee,

For words of wisdom,are often said,
In heated times they should not be re- read.
The hurt, the shame I feel inside.
My soul,  my love I have kept inside.
The place of hearts and love and glee,
I  know it has returned in thee.

Loves great jouney was never bold,
No matter  however  young or old.
So watch in silence and just feel great,
My love I offer to thee on a plate.
A feast for two is what you will see,
A table set for two, just you and me.

In candlelight I see before
Your eyes dancing with l`amour.
Our love is precious, our love is strong
Please relax, listen to my song,
Now take your chalice and toast with me,
A love to last through all eternity.

Message In A Bottle

What a beautiful day
Laying on the beach
Wishing what could be
Feeling the sand between my toes
Pondering who you will be
I know your out there
As I glance out to sea
Wishing I could see you
So I sit
Down the beach
Watching the birds pass bye
Knowing this message is meant just for you
With words of love, hopes and dreams
I put on paper
Rolled up, sealed with a kiss
Into a bottle, with only one wish
Now standing on the pier
Taking a deep breath
Throwing it out to sea
Thinking of what could be
Waiting for my True Love, to catch this bottle
For once and for all
I wish, my wish would come true
Whoever you may be?
Come and make my dreams come True

Soul Crushed

Like a wave of stinging bees


a vast maw spews forth

its delivery of denigration,

staccato sticks and stones

hurled with venomous vigor

in machine gun frenzy

the leaden poison bullets

hitting the heart hard

jerking the soul strings

wearing thin with insult,

acidity dripping and dissolving

corroding their committment

polarisation pulsing into view

building walls ever higher

cemented by hatred

surely it is not meant?

where is the committment,

the shining example?

replaced by petty point-scoring

and manifestations malignant

boiling in intensity fermented

showering ears with barbed comment

eyes roll and look for deliverance

ever stalled like praise

a poised viper waiting

to spring with pent-up

bitterness an addicition always

everyone else wrong, always

an excuse for adrenaline fix

of abuse, a tirade of blame

heaped like so much shit

on their shoulders, broadened

by years of this manic seque

the mind of a seeming madman

being called forthly all too often

channelling its primal negativity

pounding, pounding, demanding

submission the only solution

that is unless you leave

I am glad I am leaving

It's voodoo.....

The fallen, hacked off,
arms of yesterday's clocks,
strewn black confetti,
dance hall of rattling bones,
dice roll epiphanies,
crashing white light
explosions thrown
through splintered portals,
resonating bass rhythms
wind up a dimly lit corridor,
channel of frozen mind,
fingers tapping
into sympathetic data streams,
knowing the voodoo doll
is a pin cushion of needles,
each broken nerve
another instance
of trembling anticipation,
as it crawls underneath
My blanket
of penetrated skin.
The bloodletting has begun.

Sea Of Depression

I'm drowning in a sea of depression,
Sinking in the murky waters,
as the light begins to fade,
Losing all sense of direction,
The cold seeps in, l am afraid.

Can't escape now if l want to,
Which way's up and which is down?
Is it worth it? Should l struggle?
Just let go and slowly drown?

Sinking deeper than the sunlight,
No salvation to be found,
And no-one hears my silent death,
As l'm gone without a sound.

1989

I Sleep

I sleep on a silk petal's dance
 when breeze swings low,
On a cloud breathing flight
through tomorrow's door,
On a feather falling as a peaceful sigh
down a country road beyond the sky

I sleep in soft raindrop songs
 and silent calms,
And fresh flower prairies
with budding crowns,
And babies' smiles
in dreams aglow,
And a sparkling ocean
of silver water and golden fish

I sleep by the unreachable cliff
 watching tides jump and roar
With legs worn-out
from the long way up.
I sleep tonight while jazz plays on
 And voices drop to fill a room
While some people weep,
and some have fun.
I sleep.

My Way

And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friends, I'll say it clear;
I'll state my case of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life that's full -
I've travelled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets? I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course -
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill - my share of losing.
But now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way -
Oh no. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way.

For what is a man? What has he got?
If not himself - Then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.

Cradle Me Awhile

Can I cry upon your shoulder
When I'm feeling a little weak
Place loving arms around me
No need for words to speak

If and when I'm feeling down,
Weary and emotions are low
Will you hold me close to you
Stroke my cheeks as tears flow

Wipe each tear with gentle fingers
In silence bring a kiss to my cheek
Hold me, rock me in your arms
Give me strength when I am weak

Let your love flow through me
Vanish my tears, return my smile
The touch of love felt in your arms
Would you cradle me for awhile

The Voice Of The Warrior

Listen to the battle cry,
ringing out across the land
The time has come to be heard,
time to make our stand

Pain and sorrow out the door,
misery and suffering begone
We will march together,
though the road be tough and long.

Too many years in shadow,
hidden from the light
No longer shall we hide,
now we stand with pride and might

Listen to the warrior,
listen, his calling song has just begun
Through peace and love
With strength we shall overcome.

The Risk

There are no guarantees
Life throws things at you
You can catch or miss them
But they will come, ready or not

I always looked for the real thing
Never trusting in the possibility
Taking risks not my forte
Staying safe at all costs

Even playing it safe is not certain
Safe has hurt me
Zero risk gets zero gain
Sometimes playing it safe costs you more

It has me,
In not fighting the battle
you may lose the war
In not believing in a dream
You may never sleep peacefully again

So let go of the fear
Reach out for the flame
So what if you get burned
Better that then numb for life

Better to remember passion and joy
Along with the pain and tears
Then to have no memories worth
Remembering. So to hell with safe!


The battle may only be beginning.
I am going to risk and chance
Until I win back everything I've lost
And my life is what it was meant to be

Tears Of Goodbye

I look out the window and see the world.
I ask myself, "Is life worth living?"
The loneliness, depression, heartache and pain
Are all presents I'm used to receiving.
I'm sick of being alone all of the time.
I want someone there who I can talk to.
I'm sick of trying and I'm sick of crying.
What in this hell am I supposed to do?
Am I supposed to keep on looking?
Wasting time and shattering dreams?
Or do I look in another direction?
It's so much harder than it seems.
How much longer can I handle rejection?
Stupidity allows me to fall again.
All I want is the same in return
But gambling teaches us that we can't win.
I look out the window and see the world.
I hope to find the answers out there.
All I see is couples expressing affection.
I realize that no one will ever care.
I turn away and start to cry.
Of course no one is there to wipe my tears.
They fall down my cheek. Salt gets in my mouth.
It's time to annihilate my fears.
I'm not trying to appear weak,
It's just my heart can only be stabbed so much.
All I ask is for a painless affection.
I hunger for another's touch.
I realize it's all a waste of time.
I can't keep on living this way.
I guess I'm asking for too much.
I'd give anything to have the pain go away.
I jump out the window, and see the world.
I wish someone was here to relate.
As I fall I notice the wind wipes my tears.
I don't want to die but I guess it's too late.

1997

When I Dream

Summer Sunset

A single moment of perfection, coming only once a day,
This time will soon be over, never once will it stay.
Twinkling, glittering, sparkling, precious rays of light,
As the ending of the day, approaches the coming of the night.

The sky is lit up with endless, epolding hues,
An essence of hope and love, with picture perfect views.
A magical sight on which, one can build a dream,
Everything esle appears trivial, at this time it does seem.

A feeling of fulfilling happiness, a feeling of calm,
Blesses you completely, as the sky turns on it's charm.
The heavens above shine down, with that special twilight sky,
And the day turns to dusk, whilist the clouds are rolling by.

A preview of the future and what it will hold,
Seems to play in the mind, as the day becomes old.
Watching the horizon from an endless sandy beach,
Seeing the array of colours, pink, purple and peach.

Gentle breezes engulf you, and your heart begins to race,
As swift forces take the sun to its nightime hiding place.
Then ever so slowly, when the timing is just right,
You see the sun smile, and wave its goodnight.

1989

Time To Go

I was hidden too long in darkness
I have suffered, more than any know
Searched so hard to find the reason
Why my heart was turned to stone.

I have struggled for a lifetime
Now my path is overgrown
I can walk it's length no longer
the end is come, the seeds are sown.

Weep not for me, for I go gladly
To be with those who went before
I am at the gates of glory
Pain and sadness mine no more.

Take my hand and kiss me sweetly
The time has come for me to go
I have loved you all my lifetime
Far much more than you'll ever know.

The First Time

This year is the first time
in my whole life,
I have found reluctance
to walk still so alone in life,
along forest paths,
as too much sadness grows
among autumn flowers,
among the coloured leaves,
the first time
I don't feel like capturing
their images onto film.
This is the first time
in my life,
the season seems dead
cruel, and forbidding,
only the same tragedy
of all the times I walked
alone and could not hold
the hand of whom I love,
but could only feel
the touch of the wind
upon my fingers.
Now again only the same,
I can visit the leaves,
and the autumn flowers,
yet have no chance
of time spent together
with whom I love,
not even the touch
of her beautiful hand,
upon mine,
only left to the wind
touching upon my fingers,
and it all feels as chill
as only cold dark earth.

1991

Just Poetry

the past used to haunt me
like cold fingers
gripping my sleeve
and tracing
the tear tracks
on my cheeks

Stuck
in this circle
this endless
cycle
of temporary
relief

no winged creatures
appeared to whisk me
away
no burst of light
dawned
to burn away the haze

it was merely
the constant
apathy
never forward
always still
while fleets
of people
ran past

the flowers
in my garden
refused to bloom
Sometimes I'd try
to force the petals
open
but they'd only
fall
apart

and somewhere
in the mess
there was me
me, who kept looking
out
me, who kept
running
in my
circle
watching crowds
go by

and all
that kept me
busy
was to write
and write and write
till all the
crumpled poems
and tear-stained
pages
pointed in
to a little boys heart

-there
my reflection
appeared.

Still
No winged creatures
came
to set
me free

just poetry.

Lonely Star

Take my hand, as I reach for you,
I'll show you things you never knew.
And when I gaze into your eyes
I'll hold your hand, tell me no lies.

Silent dreams, forever untold;
Stay with me while night grows old.
We'll softly sleep beneath the stars
Together forever, forever apart.

In my thoughts I'll visit you
And in all the tears I suffer through;
Crying myself to sleep at night,
Never letting you out of my sight.

But when I awake to another dawn,
I always find your belongings gone.
Then I realize it was but a dream,
And nothing I see is what it seems.

I had seen your face, like a shooting star,
Never near, but always far.
The face I saw the night before
Erased from my mind for evermore.

Now I am left with empty dreams.
Voices torment me and scream,
Left alone to roam this land,
Never again with her you'll stand.