tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65537374042017655662024-03-18T06:03:53.914+00:00Beyond Survivor - The Wounded Warrior BlogI am a MALE survivor of CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE.
This is my place to offload, share and let go. This blog also contains articles from other sources and guest posts. Have a seat, kick off your shoes and join me. Leave your prejudices at the door, open your mind and learn. Please leave a comment, I appreciate feedback.
WARNING some of the contents of this blog might cause triggering.
Caution.... This blog may contain nuts. All posts ©Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.comBlogger757125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-65389876863856317702020-06-19T12:26:00.000+01:002020-06-19T12:26:04.787+01:00I Will Not Go Gentle.. #childabuse #csa #cse #recovery #<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFF2hSUrbVcl5ztSLH_Amp4sY6ZbBQyfFwE-9WeWEnZXyEUVzyWsJ2siIhPuMQkJyAW2awKwubN9G8UwfMkOjUYzMZO8xw0pKQRxzAxzXi8SGj0oO1LxhLLdcD0sw_lYV5JM_iPkftEgjy/s1600/11156241_10205553244423522_4172912163687945745_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="718" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFF2hSUrbVcl5ztSLH_Amp4sY6ZbBQyfFwE-9WeWEnZXyEUVzyWsJ2siIhPuMQkJyAW2awKwubN9G8UwfMkOjUYzMZO8xw0pKQRxzAxzXi8SGj0oO1LxhLLdcD0sw_lYV5JM_iPkftEgjy/s320/11156241_10205553244423522_4172912163687945745_n.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Recently I was told that I put myself "out there" too much, that I obviously wasn't over the effects of the years of abuse. Apparently I was weakening my position by sharing so much of myself and devoting so much of my time to raising awareness and fighting for those who are unable to speak out.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My response was to laugh at the ignorance of the person who said this to me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If men and women who have found their chains broken and have the strength to speak up, do not do so, then who will! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am proud to call myself a survivor. I have become far more than that in the last few years though. I am a thriver. I have cast aside the shackles and the gags and I speak out. I tell it as it is. I do not do this to bring glory upon myself, far from it. I do it to spread knowledge and in so doing I hope to create a better understanding of not only how childhood sexual abuse effects the victim, but also what signs to look out for and how to help the victims "heal".</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Ignorance and silence are the friends of the abusers along with fear and shame. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My voice is only a small one. I can only ever hope to reach a very tiny percentage of the population. If I can help one person to recover, if I can stop one more child being used, I will. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Knowledge is power. We all need to learn the signs of abuse, and its effects on the innocent. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Will I stop spreading this knowledge because it offends some people? No, I will most certainly not. If what I write makes you uncomfortable you have two choices. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
1 - Read, learn, be aware, be proactive. Understand and try to empathise. Take the knowledge and spread it to help others. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
2 - Turn your backs, if your conscience allows it. Pretend it doesn't and couldn't affect you. Be ignorant, be an accomplice to child abuse by your inaction. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
There is NO EXCUSE not to support victims of childhood sexual abuse, whatever their sex, their colour, their religious views, or social standing. To do anything else, to turn your backs or deny them justice is tantamount to collusion with the perpetrators of sexual crimes. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sheltering or protecting a Paedophile means you may as well have been holding the innocent child down yourselves. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Fear is not an excuse, neither is family pride. A child is NEVER to blame for being the victim of sexual crimes. NEVER.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
No... I will not shut up and go and hide back in the shadows. The past had a devastating effect on my life, but it is indeed past. It has changed me, as has the therapy to get to where I am today. I have taken away its power to control my present and my future. So can you. The past no longer defines who I am and where I am going. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-71478029710061666962020-06-09T23:22:00.000+01:002020-06-09T23:22:05.056+01:00The idolatry of the mindless #poetry <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggE-L5xSfc0qVQihbp5VwYv6QfZbEuw6VX7OKKj-a_7h_rcYAwpBGxfj_PFYVXOigvLeewpd1RZ7IogTEEiQSWG8Md6lYwUsLK0sW7bmQUjwDMKparz4PQ_s2S-3SO_JP0gE5govwICewA/s1600/cc65f16ee40b4d61d39d31f5d676e18c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="282" data-original-width="460" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggE-L5xSfc0qVQihbp5VwYv6QfZbEuw6VX7OKKj-a_7h_rcYAwpBGxfj_PFYVXOigvLeewpd1RZ7IogTEEiQSWG8Md6lYwUsLK0sW7bmQUjwDMKparz4PQ_s2S-3SO_JP0gE5govwICewA/s400/cc65f16ee40b4d61d39d31f5d676e18c.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b>Clear like water the tears flow into a silver flask,</b><br />
<b>tarnished by the indifference of the masses.</b><br />
<b>Tarnished by seeking to be more,</b><br />
<b>gaining no more than the idolatry of the mindless,</b><br />
<b>and losing no less than the soul.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>A silver flask among other silver flasks abandoned.</b><br />
<b>Lost in a sea without value,</b><br />
<b>and seen as the value of the lost.</b><br />
<b>Warming my bed with snow and frost...</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>The darkness that surrounds me kills.</b><br />
<b>Living for love, and kindness,</b><br />
<b>and that view of children playing on grassy hills...</b><br />
<b>Dying for compassion, for attention,</b><br />
<b>for a voice to hear my screams, which to most</b><br />
<b>seem to exist in that other dimension</b><br />
<b>which some seem to name the void.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Rescue me from this place, this prison, this life.</b><br />
<b>This play for the gods in the stage of man,</b><br />
<b>and me playing the grain of sand on the beach,</b><br />
<b>waiting to be blessed by the touch of a wave of hope.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Give me peace. Give me justice.</b><br />
<b>Give me a pair of eyes to be lost in, a pair of legs to be wrapped in.</b><br />
<b>Give me a hint to the life I never had, and seem unable to obtain.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Take away the masks for the play, and the tarnish.</b><br />
<b>Let me keep the tears, but give me the sparkle of a smile.</b><br />
<b>Replace the frost with that landscape of a pair of eyes.</b><br />
<b>Open the doors to that lost dimension and let me be heard.</b><br />
<b>Take away the pain. Take away the sorrow.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>For today is yesterday is tomorrow...</b><br />
<b>Life just seems to want to stay the same.</b></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-37272901923187412042020-05-24T16:11:00.002+01:002020-05-25T16:07:27.227+01:00I Am ME - That IS Enough. #mindfulness <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Moving Forwards in a Backwards Direction. </span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">That doesn't really sound
very positive or encouraging a start at first read. Please bear with me
for a while and I shall I explain. </span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I haven't properly blogged
for a few years. There are many reasons for this, some of which I am not at
liberty to discuss. Others I have mentioned in another short blog about grief.
On top of this I have been taking a very long, hard look at my life. I started
this blog ten years ago. The url and original blog name is "What Is
Love?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is another subject I
have previously discussed at length and have written countless poetry on the
subject. Good, bad and indifferent.</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I had a birthday in lockdown
a few days ago (I turned 53, though still, in my head, I am thirty something), and
I am also classed as shielded. For those not in the UK that means I have
certain medical problems that would seriously complicate my situation should I
catch Coronavirus. It was a strange, but lovely day. </span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">These ten weeks in lockdown
have given me much time to think. I also shaved my hair off!! </span></b></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkEoR42WHOZW3wreGzWrBcnF3BiCEGZsCmidxKfyYJGzrReDeNVQ_AXeMgUFn1LbYoXDf0yyS2YKJdvdKMySIA5l3tJoL-2gzwHCU3m0XOLsVYJjSu_-Cko9b332zbYe9g92YpIQKVEl6y/s1600/92112651_10219361470140535_6925812099704684544_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="649" data-original-width="649" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkEoR42WHOZW3wreGzWrBcnF3BiCEGZsCmidxKfyYJGzrReDeNVQ_AXeMgUFn1LbYoXDf0yyS2YKJdvdKMySIA5l3tJoL-2gzwHCU3m0XOLsVYJjSu_-Cko9b332zbYe9g92YpIQKVEl6y/s320/92112651_10219361470140535_6925812099704684544_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Last year I was diagnosed
with Complex PTSD. Dissociative Identity Disorder and Generalised Anxiety
Disorder. This diagnosis was by an expert in the field. Not everyone likes to
be labeled as having a mental health issue. Many feel a benefit from having a
diagnosis. For me however, the above diagnoses were a relief. I have been
wrongly diagnosed and thus received incorrect treatment for a very
long time. I understand that diagnosing mental health issues is not an exact
science.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At 21 I was diagnosed as having
Psychotic Neuroses. I was partly to blame for I had not disclosed the traumatic
injuries I received in childhood. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I am now working under professional, medical supervision, at
reducing many of the medications I have been prescribed. Several of these have
had very unpleasant side effects and some have clashed with others. I
am on a slow detox..</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I have been told, and have
also assumed via my own research, that the diagnoses above applied to me. I
have written of such several times. Too many people with mental health
disorders related to trauma are still incorrectly diagnosed.
I sincerely hope that changes over the next few years. Sadly
the NHS does still not fully recognise CPTSD as a condition in it's own right.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">It could be said, as the song goes, that since lockdown many feel “</span></b><b><span lang="EN-GB" style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Mama We’re
All Crazee Now..” </span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">So.. Moving forwards in a
backwards direction, I intend to finish the second book in the Beyond Survivor
Trilogy which is co-written with the wonderful Canadian therapist Donna Bailey.
"Phoenix Warriors - Beyond The Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse" with
@26PeacockLady will be released later this year. Due to certain agreements I am
having to rewrite certain segments and also replace others in their
entirety. Following that, will be my third and final book written as a
"survivor". It will follow a similar format to my first book
and the working title is "A Phoenix in Flight". </span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I have never made much money
as an author. Since my first book was self published, it took a very long time
to break even. What little profit there has been has been put into other
mental health projects. Making money or becoming famous etc has never been my
aim. My intent was always to share what I had learnt, to try and help others
through my own experiences and my own methods of coping and
"surviving". </span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Personally I have much
planned beyond that. The groundwork for which is currently already
being laid. A huge part of that has been learning to accept and love
myself, as me. I have other writing projects underway which will be written
under a pen name/pen names. There will be a crossover of sorts, as some of the
topics are ways to reduce anxiety, methods of meditating, making the most of
your inner potential etc. The big change is that these will all be under a
Pagan umbrella. They will not necessarily be written from the perspective of
someone who was once a victim. They will be written by a man who has embraced
Paganism his entire adult life and has found purpose, love, and peace at
last. A man that accepts his sexuality, a man that accepts himself, a man
who is finally learning that he is enough, just as he is. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Ref. Sexuality.. It is something I struggled with for decades. I
have lived with, and loved, partners of both sexes. The labeling of sexuality
is something that I am unhappy about. I accept that I am me. If I had to use a
label I would prefer PanSexual. As a male victim, I could not be sure, if I had not
been subjected to transgressive homosexuality (by paedophiles), what my
sexuality may be. Whatever the past, whatever water has passed under the
bridge, I am me. I like me. I really am enough, just as I am. </span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I also have a few fiction
books to finish and set loose on the world. I have spent decades writing. It's
time I sorted it all out and just get it done.</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">My new works will obviously
have new websites etc as it is important to me to keep them
mostly separate. I am not hiding one from the other, I am not ashamed of
any aspect of who I am and what my life has been. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Stay tuned and stay safe!</span></b><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br /></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-18939340007064625302020-05-17T15:15:00.003+01:002020-05-17T15:15:58.959+01:00Forever Beautiful To Me #poetry <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">No sight</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">of any wonders</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">of the world,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">no beautiful thing,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">not anything,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">could mean as much</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">as to see your face</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">look gently at me again,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">no beautiful sound</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">could mean as much</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">as to hear you speak</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">softly to me again.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Since I lost you,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">now I look</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">at what else</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">once seemed beautiful</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">and compared to you</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">it all seems dead,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">lacking something</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">of what it once had,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">compared to you,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">and I would trade</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">all else that is beautiful</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">simply to know you,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">so I can love you,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">near to me again.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Without you near again,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">everything else</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">that is beautiful</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">seems only a theory,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">an aesthetic,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">applied principles,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">some abstractions,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">components,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">resemblance to ideas,</span></span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">concepts,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">compositions,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">a technical question,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">but nothing really</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">really beautiful.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">You would always be</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">more beautiful</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">to me.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLPFYSrK8cA-xe1awcTKpe4f2Yz_E_EXhUtIR3E86R78BFZ9l65tZ-ICer8OPzm8nS1xUtSL8p_qZ0wcqTwyNBLNyEd2vzgEJci2ISn_zCS3Xh0cgDuTU1p0me5ILf04rP75N8pPVbCQiC/s1600/existential-crisis-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="748" data-original-width="800" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLPFYSrK8cA-xe1awcTKpe4f2Yz_E_EXhUtIR3E86R78BFZ9l65tZ-ICer8OPzm8nS1xUtSL8p_qZ0wcqTwyNBLNyEd2vzgEJci2ISn_zCS3Xh0cgDuTU1p0me5ILf04rP75N8pPVbCQiC/s320/existential-crisis-4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-1930167752387756452020-05-09T12:26:00.001+01:002020-05-13T14:27:36.151+01:00The Truth - I am glad I am leaving #Domestic Violence #MenToo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbxV6qm3r-gbe_ZnhbAOheYITqImdR7MiiIRkz5tvQ37IqYVL4OPq7iqA6vZ7-o2YsYj1OMGnAku5cRplXzYzIzuqBy5zE78E0UJjmjBBcj-NR3R-iFg9thuX1qZcUHd2GUJkX3rrB7tlo/s1600/CCLOSPmUgAAL3zz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="608" data-original-width="671" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbxV6qm3r-gbe_ZnhbAOheYITqImdR7MiiIRkz5tvQ37IqYVL4OPq7iqA6vZ7-o2YsYj1OMGnAku5cRplXzYzIzuqBy5zE78E0UJjmjBBcj-NR3R-iFg9thuX1qZcUHd2GUJkX3rrB7tlo/s320/CCLOSPmUgAAL3zz.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;"><b><br /></b></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<b style="color: #444444; font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;"><br /></b>
<b style="color: #444444; font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;"><br /></b>
<b style="color: #444444; font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">The Truth Be Hidden</b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Like a wave of stinging bees</span></b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">a vast maw spews forth</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">its delivery of denigration,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">staccato sticks and stones</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">hurled with venomous </span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">vigour</span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">in machine gun frenzy</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">the leaden poison bullets</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">hitting the heart hard</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">jerking the soul strings</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">wearing thin with insult,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">acidity dripping and dissolving</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">corroding their </span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">commitment</span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">polarisation pulsing into view</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">building walls ever higher</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">cemented by hatred</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">surely it is not meant?</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">where is the commitment,</span></span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">the shining example?</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">replaced by petty point-scoring</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">and manifestations malignant</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">boiling in intensity fermented</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">showering ears with barbed comment</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">eyes roll and look for deliverance</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">ever stalled like praise</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">a poised viper waiting</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">to spring with pent-up</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">bitterness an addiction always</span></span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">everyone else wrong, always</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">an excuse for adrenaline fix</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">of abuse, a tirade of blame</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">heaped like so much shit</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">on their shoulders, broadened</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">by years of this manic seque</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">the mind of a seeming harridan</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">being called forth all too often</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">channelling its primal negativity</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">pounding, pounding, demanding</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">submission the only solution</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">that is unless you leave.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">Though knowing that even in the</span></b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;"> leaving, my escape will be considered betrayal.</span></b><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-6378549479417299562020-05-02T22:57:00.003+01:002020-05-02T23:04:01.194+01:00Guest Bloggers Wanted! #childabuse #survivors #csa #cse #malevictims #malesurvivors<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikIWPBObq5zPMJK07UrCgMVNXU03ltkd8CxhzlaPd8pK0dOez3hG3vlJ35crHkB1fljaF9FmCFELMd7kQKbx9bwH2c9v-eH_b-63FRRaFMRxtL0sbCeFsyUi4977by4ju0Ez51Gwnndhke/s1600/IMG_7152.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="299" data-original-width="598" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikIWPBObq5zPMJK07UrCgMVNXU03ltkd8CxhzlaPd8pK0dOez3hG3vlJ35crHkB1fljaF9FmCFELMd7kQKbx9bwH2c9v-eH_b-63FRRaFMRxtL0sbCeFsyUi4977by4ju0Ez51Gwnndhke/s320/IMG_7152.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 22px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; position: relative;">
</h3>
<div class="post-header" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px 0px 1em;">
<div class="post-header-line-1">
</div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-6584314324546235479" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 576px;">
<div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">
HI!<br />
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">I'm very proud of this blog. It has become a resource to others as well as being my place to share my experiences, introduce survivor friends to my audience and have the occasional rant!</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"> I'm looking for guest posts on the following topics.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Child Abuse</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">P.T.S.D</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">D.I.D</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Depression</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Suicide</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Male Survivors</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Therapy</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Alt Therapy</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Coping skills/mechanisms</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Survivor Poetry</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Please contact me through this blog or via Twitter @Beyond_Survivor if you are interested.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Any length of post is fine and it can be anonymous if required.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Thank you again for taking time out of your lives to read this blog and for the amazing support you give me.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">
<br />
Submissions can also to be sent to JanLFrayne@yahoo.com<br />
<br />
Paedophiles and their supporters may not submit...<br />
<br />
The post can be anonymous if you prefer. If you are happy to be yourself then you can also include photos, links to yourself on social media and your own website.<br />
<br />
My aim is to make this blog a comprehensive resource for other survivors and also to promote awareness regarding all aspects of being a survivor of abuse. Speaking out and sharing our experiences is a great way to both help ourselves in our healing journey and to help others to understand us better.<br />
<br />
Many thanks for your interest!<br />
<br />
Ján</div>
</div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-44648216059044382942020-04-25T19:24:00.003+01:002020-05-09T12:09:16.100+01:00BEYOND SURVIVOR - Free Book Copy until April 30th <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8s-kfwAp5gG0lJjd9GVXeHbuEWMte1-XR8tMILqN6ehEeT0wMwOwuWWkNAt2uqqSrFyLfbxFD3qlxjUzqS1f0AkyIbygX1LdgtxCy5Pj9GO7FnxlDOMN9a-KmlMMgLFSk2sSAce7muJfe/s1600/EWdizWyXYAIP_nx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8s-kfwAp5gG0lJjd9GVXeHbuEWMte1-XR8tMILqN6ehEeT0wMwOwuWWkNAt2uqqSrFyLfbxFD3qlxjUzqS1f0AkyIbygX1LdgtxCy5Pj9GO7FnxlDOMN9a-KmlMMgLFSk2sSAce7muJfe/s640/EWdizWyXYAIP_nx.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "ubuntu" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 23px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "ubuntu" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 23px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "ubuntu" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 23px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Always available on Kindle Unlimited </b></span></div>
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "ubuntu" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 23px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #14171a; font-family: , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , "segoe ui" , "roboto" , "ubuntu" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 23px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-23891800608987368422019-02-18T11:57:00.000+00:002020-04-30T22:17:48.780+01:00Sometimes Silence Is Required<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hello,<br />
<br />
I haven't updated my blog properly for quite some time. There is a reason for everything.<br />
<br />
I have been struggling with events for the past 2-3 years. I am now facing something very frightening to me, something I hope will let me put more ghosts to rest.<br />
<br />
I apologise for not keeping this blog flowing as it used to. Give me time and things will hopefully improve.<br />
<br />
Just don't give up on me...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIE0-GgOjUSHMoJA909wk70iSj_G_lT3jLL-qnlOwrFxkbh1OI43lSlRDg9mI9GVL9-oYUk1pubL21NTy-TrkAvdCWnjUpocJU8mdN1lr3DdyXc08I8H6a-tv49z6NlZekeclydNtfexyR/s1600/89da89084727a30b20d51822fa9497d7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="474" data-original-width="500" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIE0-GgOjUSHMoJA909wk70iSj_G_lT3jLL-qnlOwrFxkbh1OI43lSlRDg9mI9GVL9-oYUk1pubL21NTy-TrkAvdCWnjUpocJU8mdN1lr3DdyXc08I8H6a-tv49z6NlZekeclydNtfexyR/s320/89da89084727a30b20d51822fa9497d7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Update on April 30th 2020.<br />
<br />
I welcome new guest posts or suggestions for content you would like to see.<br />
<br />
Thank you for bearing with me,<br />
<br />
Jan</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-36138376611259994082018-01-20T10:14:00.001+00:002018-01-20T10:14:16.719+00:00Fredy Verdin - The Day My Father Was Going To Shoot Me For Being Gay @piscesdreamer1 <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-family: '';">
Today's guest blogger is Mr Fredy Verdin. Fredy has a blog relating his experiences of Childhood Sexual Abuse at http://piscesdreamer-survivingchildabuse.blogspot.com/</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNVL56MGVdUE1nERbMvw7kHgI9H9EdPo3DTWLOB0ryCPJQomUVVSg0q2HPyup-_3HM75mSMjXrRJGuzSAYnDZ3GDl3k0EA99c18ky4tqt3VOuBXGQb2dmzjYp5XSC6Dq8XWQiSaUsi8B6I/s1600/Fredy1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNVL56MGVdUE1nERbMvw7kHgI9H9EdPo3DTWLOB0ryCPJQomUVVSg0q2HPyup-_3HM75mSMjXrRJGuzSAYnDZ3GDl3k0EA99c18ky4tqt3VOuBXGQb2dmzjYp5XSC6Dq8XWQiSaUsi8B6I/s320/Fredy1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Fredy is a "good" man, someone who tries to bring joy to others, someone who wants to make a difference in this often cold and hostile world.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I am proud to have come to know him. He is an amazing human, an incredible man, who also is trying to make sense of it all...</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Proof that out of the darkness can come light.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
You can also follow him on Twitter @Piscesdreamer1</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
FREDY VERDIN</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
This is my coming out story. Well, I never formally came out to my Parents. My Parents actually found out, and these are the events that transpired following their discovery.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I had just turned fourteen; I was a “normal” teenager just like the rest except that I had being carrying a big secret my whole young life. I was Gay.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I knew I was different from a very young age; My Father would remind me every day since the age of five that I was “different”. He would beat and ridicule me anytime he felt that I was “acting” or talking like a girl. I grew up afraid of my own Father and endured many beatings at his hands. Dad never knew that I had been sexually abused at the age of three by family members and by a school teacher when I was in kindergarten. The molestations continued up until the age of seven. I never told my Parents anything. I was terrified of my Father.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguxJy19X3eG70ncbOFjpJJOG-gHw1wFY6w5zNrhYmJtcG3Vcc1HyUq9cPWjIvICHbkuDNVQE0qpTInyHQktM2IxRJp9bpIHVKbOzX2CX_fXPYxp87_Ug4_hmbZqE6lzPVTlAckmR1V_TEE/s1600/F+6th+B-Day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguxJy19X3eG70ncbOFjpJJOG-gHw1wFY6w5zNrhYmJtcG3Vcc1HyUq9cPWjIvICHbkuDNVQE0qpTInyHQktM2IxRJp9bpIHVKbOzX2CX_fXPYxp87_Ug4_hmbZqE6lzPVTlAckmR1V_TEE/s320/F+6th+B-Day.jpg" width="261" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
The story begins on a Saturday afternoon. My Mom and Dad were in my room during their weekly inspection of my closets and dresser. My Father was a very controlling man and was very strict. The room searches had been going on since I have used of my memory. This time though, their weekly search would turn my life into a living “hell”.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
My best friend on the block that lived next door to us had an uncle. His name was Raul. Raul was in his early twenties from what I can recall. I had a silly kid’s crush on him. I never acted on it. I would just sit in my room and write poems and love letters dedicated to him. I would dream that he would love me back and would rescue me from my Father and the beatings I endured. I wanted a way out so bad that I used to sit in my room and day dream about different scenarios on how to escape. This was just another one of those dreams.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Dad found my notebook under my mattress and read everything. Both my Mother and Father called me into my room and started to scream and cry. My Father kept screaming in my face how disappointed and angry he was in me. He kept on slapping me and kicking me over and over. It seemed like an eternity. I kept screaming for him to stop, but he wouldn’t stop. I did not know what to do. In a moment of rage I screamed at my Mother “It’s all your Brother’s fault!” Then, my Dad stopped beating me. This was the first time that I was telling them about the sexual abuse I had to endure at very young age and how their not being there had affected me so much. This set my Father into a bigger rage. He went to get his gun and told me he was going to kill me. He said that he would rather have a dead Son than a Fagot.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUo2YZ-bicwXUXqgBAhw3GVBdGyjvKONUdGPXswZMSn4tKB0bzGhHCCYOFLk6UHMJWhIk1RijCcDpHZto9et4KJh3mgkGy1MUq5IzPVea6TCxvrJcW1KF60AUrzhLw2U9BfIsrirlWriul/s1600/F+Christams.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUo2YZ-bicwXUXqgBAhw3GVBdGyjvKONUdGPXswZMSn4tKB0bzGhHCCYOFLk6UHMJWhIk1RijCcDpHZto9et4KJh3mgkGy1MUq5IzPVea6TCxvrJcW1KF60AUrzhLw2U9BfIsrirlWriul/s320/F+Christams.jpg" width="237" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
My Mother fought with him, but he was so angry he was not listening at all. He then went up to the roof and threatened to kill himself. He placed the gun to his head. My Mother was hysterical and was blaming me for the whole incident. My Father was ready to jump off the building. I was so scared and felt so guilty that I had put my Parents through such shame and pain.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
My Father decided that he would take matters into his own hands and called my Uncle to come to our house. My life as I knew had turned into a bigger hell than the one I had been living since the age of three. My Uncle denied the whole thing and told my Father that it was all my fault. I was a Fagot and the whole block knew it and talked about it. I couldn’t believe that the nightmare he (my Uncle) had made me live for years were suddenly my fault. It made me question if everything I remembered was fake. How could it be possible? I knew it was true. I felt so powerless yet again. It was a feeling I knew too well.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
The weeks and months that followed the incident were very tough on me. My Parents stopped talking to me and they ignored me for like a month. I was not allowed to go out by myself anymore. Anytime I had to go do the grocery shopping for the house, I had to either take my eight year old brother or my youngest sister. Both of whom I took care of like I was their Father. In fact my sister’s first words were Fredy. I have a special bond with both my siblings till this day.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
My Father thought that in order for him to “fix” me he would send me to seminary school to become a priest. He said that I was going to go to hell and that God was the only one that could help him. He said him, because Dad’s biggest concern was always what others would think and say about him. He was more concerned with his reputation than in my well being.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I was enrolled in seminary school at the age of fourteen. I was the best student and got good grades. I prayed everyday to God for him to change me. I would cry in my room at night asking God why I had to be Gay. I had been beaten and ridiculed my whole life by my Father and the kids in the neighborhood; I did not want to have these feelings anymore. I tried and tried. I prayed and prayed, but nothing would change. I was so confused I had (have) so much faith in God I couldn’t understand why God was not listening to me.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Then finally one day I decided to accept the fact the God did love me and that I had been born this way. I felt that all the pain that I suffered was meant to be so I could help other kids with similar struggles. If my story and all the hardships can help change just ONE person’s life, than my life has had purpose and I’m closer to achieving my mission in life.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
It took me years to come to terms with it, but please know if you are reading this, that anything is possible and once we conquered our feelings and thought on how we see ourselves, life will change for the better. I now know this.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOEFwZ9cDzj99WE6nrQszSmGstxMPKi7VsxtCSNWrMzehLjeZYBzJ_yBTV_LOul59ELxd7O-TJPQEMV5kb1fj1x0MNb-khKYjPy32sbPnJ8DaFAsiHaCpIcTUukLUfA9IWimCLTFrkX5fT/s1600/Fredy3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOEFwZ9cDzj99WE6nrQszSmGstxMPKi7VsxtCSNWrMzehLjeZYBzJ_yBTV_LOul59ELxd7O-TJPQEMV5kb1fj1x0MNb-khKYjPy32sbPnJ8DaFAsiHaCpIcTUukLUfA9IWimCLTFrkX5fT/s320/Fredy3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Fredy Verdin PiscesDreamer</div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-30215649555204434792017-12-22T09:37:00.002+00:002017-12-22T09:37:11.903+00:00Paedophile Teachers <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-family: '';">
This is a slightly expanded version of a blog I posted a year ago.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Since writing, three people have come forward with information regarding the schools listed below.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Please.. If you have any information that may be relevant get in touch and I can pass your details on to the relevant legal and law enforcement agencies that are currently involved.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Over the 6-7 years that I have been blogging I have seen, heard and read many shocking cases of abuse. What I think stuns me the most is those cases where the perpetrator is caught but the events are hushed up and the teacher is sent packing to another school. The perpetrator then starts their little "games" again and more innocent lives are destroyed. Why? To save the blushes of those in charge and to avoid a public scandal..</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
The people who allow this to happen may as well be abusers themselves. They have no interest in protecting children and care only about themselves and their reputations.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I have seen this in all forms of schools, public, private, primary and secondary.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
PERHAPS there is more awareness today and PERHAPS this does not happen anymore. There is no guarantee however.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
What breaks me heart is hearing a survivor of such abuse state something like "If I had spoken up then maybe other children would have been spared" etc. Blaming yourself for not speaking up is exactly what the perpetrator hopes for. They feel invincible because who would believe a child over an adult..</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I have also read cases where the powers that be have blamed the children for sexualising the adult!</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
If you have been affected by abuse in your school please speak out. Name and shame those involved, the school and the local authority.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I am very interested in hearing from anyone who suffered abuse whilst in the following schools during the late 60s through to the early 80s.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Bengeo Primary School - Hertfordshire</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Longlands Primary School - Hertfordshire</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
King College Choir School - Cambridge</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Further reading:-</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28212710">A secret history of child abuse</a></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/may/04/abuse-britain-private-schools-personal-memoir">Abuse in Britains boarding schools</a></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<a href="http://www.ucl.ac.uk/jdibrief/crime/sexual-abuse-in-schools">Sexual abuse in schools</a></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddQWH9KGxHqgExincqkAdPoI-wvaJrNAV3cIzGQ99SFHsLppvpiz0PiTJUZzoNYCpmmgzS3QMEvFHleEQrfzNDWvTQ13SyMAMybuqGJYwQ5toRzEXVuiCtlx65Ldy6LEtmU1UFmyXZsYW/s1600/01f1465.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddQWH9KGxHqgExincqkAdPoI-wvaJrNAV3cIzGQ99SFHsLppvpiz0PiTJUZzoNYCpmmgzS3QMEvFHleEQrfzNDWvTQ13SyMAMybuqGJYwQ5toRzEXVuiCtlx65Ldy6LEtmU1UFmyXZsYW/s320/01f1465.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-5086444203123437672017-11-22T21:56:00.000+00:002017-11-22T21:56:29.038+00:00Possible Signs of Unresolved Trauma #trauma<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggsIaNHYeRRBXMKyUK-prhSXEWzm_cqi2DJjt3lbaXyv0PNAOpdJ4g3Fw46h3lX6o56YpEM-8DW8hUWSChslPFeOOnq1Lg1V1i53M7FYfdFRXyhgjGr-WBQWnLY9SF1hyCk07hhJezaiaz/s1600/Cesar-Galeana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="545" data-original-width="940" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggsIaNHYeRRBXMKyUK-prhSXEWzm_cqi2DJjt3lbaXyv0PNAOpdJ4g3Fw46h3lX6o56YpEM-8DW8hUWSChslPFeOOnq1Lg1V1i53M7FYfdFRXyhgjGr-WBQWnLY9SF1hyCk07hhJezaiaz/s320/Cesar-Galeana.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: #fafafa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px; word-break: break-word;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #4e4e4e; line-height: 29px;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: #fafafa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px; word-break: break-word;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #4e4e4e; line-height: 29px;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: #fafafa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px; word-break: break-word;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #4e4e4e; line-height: 29px;">What is trauma? When most people think of trauma, they think of things like natural disasters, witnessing or experiencing violence, or the experiences of soldiers in combat, and they would certainly be right. However, trauma can also occur from less obvious experiences, such as bullying, growing up in a dysfunctional home, negative experiences at school, or other experiences that we deem “part of the human experience”. One of the leading experts in the field of trauma, Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk, defines trauma as being </span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #4e4e4e; line-height: 29px;">any event in which the central nervous system is overwhelmed, and we are unable to integrate or process what is happening.</em><span style="background-color: white; color: #4e4e4e; line-height: 29px;"> Unresolved trauma changes both the way we remember and react to events in our lives. When trauma occurs during our childhood, it can greatly affect our development in ways that as adults we are often not even aware of.</span></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: #fafafa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px; word-break: break-word;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: #fafafa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px; word-break: break-word;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just because someone who suffered trauma blocks out (consciously or unconsciously) what has happened, it doesn’t mean that he or she won’t feel the effects from it.</span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: #fafafa; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 10px; word-break: break-word;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Peter A. Levine, Ph.D., who has treated and researched trauma for over 45 years, says,</span></b></div>
<blockquote style="background-color: #fafafa; background-image: none; border-left-color: rgb(251, 113, 0); border-left-style: solid; border-width: 0px 0px 0px 5px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; float: none; height: auto; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 10px 20px; position: static; text-shadow: none; width: auto; word-break: break-word;">
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; word-break: break-word;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The effects of unresolved trauma can be devastating. It can affect our habits and outlook on life, leading to addictions and poor decision-making. It can take a toll on our family life and interpersonal relationships. It can trigger real physical pain, symptoms, and disease. And it can lead to a range of self destructive behaviors."</span></b></div>
</blockquote>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People may enter therapy aware of some of the following symptoms, but they may not realise these complications are suggestive of unresolved trauma issues:</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Addictive behaviors – excessively turning to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling as a way to push difficult emotions and upsetting trauma content further away.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. An inability to tolerate conflicts with others – having a fear of conflict, running from conflict, avoiding conflict, maintaining skewed perceptions of conflict.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. An inability to tolerate intense feelings, preferring to avoid feeling by any number of ways.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. An innate belief that they are bad, worthless, without value or importance.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Black and white thinking, all or nothing thinking, even if this approach ends up harming themselves.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. Chronic and repeated suicidal thoughts and feelings.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. Disorganized attachment patterns – having a variety of short but intense relationships, refusing to have any relationships, dysfunctional relationships, frequent love/hate relationships.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. Dissociation, spacing out, losing time, missing time, feeling like you are two completely different people (or more than two).</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9. Eating disorders – anorexia, bulimia, obesity, etc.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10. Excessive sense of self-blame – taking on inappropriate responsibility as if everything is their fault, making excessive apologies.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11. Inappropriate attachments to mother figures or father figures, even with dysfunctional or unhealthy people.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">12. Intense anxiety and repeated panic attacks.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">13. Intrusive thoughts, upsetting visual images, flashbacks, body memories / unexplained body pain, or distressing nightmares.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">14. Ongoing, chronic depression.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">15. Repeatedly acting from a victim role in current day relationships.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">16. Repeatedly taking on the rescuer role, even when inappropriate to do so.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">17. Self-harm, self-mutilation, self-injury, self-destruction.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">18. Suicidal actions and behaviors, failed attempts to suicide.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">19. Taking the perpetrator role / angry aggressor in relationships.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>20. Unexplained but intense fears of people, places, thin</b>gs.</span></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-61115425280658010742017-11-17T22:42:00.000+00:002020-05-23T21:57:42.395+01:00Grief: Understanding The Process #grief #loss #pain<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="background-color: #ffffe6; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0.25em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 4px;">
<br />This is a topic very close to my heart. I started losing loved ones when I was nine years old (My Mother). I wasn't offered any help or counselling. 10 years later I lost my father too. Again, no support.</h3>
<h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="background-color: #ffffe6; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0.25em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 4px;">
</h3>
<h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="background-color: #ffffe6; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0.25em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 4px;">
Since then I have lost my grandparents (one wasn't actually a loss), and in recent years my only full sibling</h3>
<h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="background-color: #ffffe6; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0.25em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 4px;">
Two months ago I lost my spouse. We were "estranged" for want of a better word but that didn't stop us being the very best of friends.</h3>
<h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="background-color: #ffffe6; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0.25em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 4px;">
</h3>
<h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="background-color: #ffffe6; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0.25em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 4px;">
Grief is cruel. I hope this article might help others.<span style="color: #cc6600; font-size: large;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="line-height: 1.4em;"><br /></span></div>
</span></h3>
<div class="post-header-line-1" style="background-color: #ffffe6; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px;">
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" style="background-color: #ffffe6; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.6em; margin: 0px 0px 0.75em;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="border: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; margin-left: 1em; padding: 4px; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk0GViTLn3173QLJkIq8FlJQo-nQbL0Wjh5kUh1GGOac3VXl5qmEZq_grX0itCFe2c-hNC3Ze0WImL0iS7Uf5WUJ43EZh25kq0DiHJyFNyFARmhcRCHFfV7-25C-VYKvmy0VpHGMk-YL7j/s1600/NoRuleBook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; color: #999999; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk0GViTLn3173QLJkIq8FlJQo-nQbL0Wjh5kUh1GGOac3VXl5qmEZq_grX0itCFe2c-hNC3Ze0WImL0iS7Uf5WUJ43EZh25kq0DiHJyFNyFARmhcRCHFfV7-25C-VYKvmy0VpHGMk-YL7j/s1600/NoRuleBook.jpg" style="border: none; padding: 0px;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 10.399999618530273px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i><br /></i><i>Grief will make a new person out of you, if it doesn't kill you in the making.</i> ~ <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Stephanie-Ericsson/e/B000APHKTE" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">Stephanie Ericsson</a><br />
<br />
Few of us are prepared to face the excruciating pain associated with the death of a loved one. We think we cannot bear it, that to feel such sorrow is abnormal, as if we're going mad. Yet loss is a natural part of life's cycle of growth, decay and rebirth. We know that when someone dearly loved is lost, certain feelings and reactions will be experienced by most people. Still, there is no rule book that works for everyone, because <i>how</i> we experience grief ~ and for how long ~ is uniquely personal and distinct.<b><a href="http://www.griefhealing.com/finding-your-way.htm" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">Finding your way through grief</a></b> successfully requires some knowledge and understanding of the grief process, and a willingness to do the work of mourning.<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6553737404201765566" name="more"></a><br />
<b><i>Grief is a normal yet highly personal response to loss.</i></b> Neither an illness nor a pathological condition, it is a natural process that, depending on how it is managed and understood, can lead to healing and personal growth.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>Not all losses are related to death, and not all grief reactions stem from the death of a loved one. </i></b>Grief can be felt in <b><a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/08/voices-of-experience-anticipatory-grief.html" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">anticipation of a loss</a></b>, as you mourn all the secondary losses experienced in the course of an illness. Life transitions ~ even joyful ones ~ entail loss and can engender grief. Significant, life-changing events can shatter our assumption that we are safe in this world. Still other losses are <b><a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/03/unresolved-grief-when-loved-one-is.html" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">ambiguous ones</a></b>, in that the actual loss may not be evident or clear (e.g., Alzheimer’s disease, addiction, incarceration, soldiers missing in action). Losses can be tangible (readily apparent and obvious), or intangible and more symbolic in nature. </div>
<br />
<b><i>Grief is extremely powerful. </i></b>It can catch you totally unprepared, knock you off balance and shake you to the core. It can be painful beyond words — physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually — and it can change your life completely. Grief serves to remind you how fragile life is and how vulnerable you are to loss. It can make your present life seem meaningless, and take away your hope for the future.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Understanding the process and knowing what to expect can help you cope.</i></b> Your pattern of progressing through your grief will be uneven, unpredictable and unique, with no specific time frame. But the more you learn about grief, the better you can cope with it. In the beginning it will seem as if your grief is running you, but in the end, you can learn to run your grief. When you understand what is happening to you and have some idea of what to expect, you will feel more in control of your grief and will be in a better position to take care of yourself, to find your own way through this loss and to begin rebuilding your life.<br />
<br />
<b><i>The worst kind of grief is the grief you’re experiencing now.</i></b> Don’t <b><a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/04/when-grief-seems-insignificant-by.html" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">compare your grief</a></b> with anyone else’s, and know that, at this moment, your loss is the worst thing that could happen to anyone. Acknowledge that your loss is worthy of grief, and accept that you must endure the very real feelings of sorrow.<br />
<br />
<b><i><a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/03/bereavement-doing-work-of-grief.html" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">Grief work</a> is very hard and takes enormous energy. </i></b>Much as you may want to do so, there is no way to avoid this grief of yours. You cannot wait it out; you won’t get over it quickly, and nobody can do it for you. It’s called grief work because finding your way through grief is hard work, and if you put it off, like a messy chore it will sit there waiting to be done. And the longer it waits, the harder it becomes.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Effective mourning is not done alone.</i></b> Unfortunately, friends and family members may be finished with your grief long before you are finished with your need to talk about it, and unexpressed feelings can become distorted. It is important that you <b><a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2010/04/finding-grief-support-that-is-right-for.html" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">find an understanding, nonjudgmental listener</a></b> with whom you can openly acknowledge your feelings and experiences, express and work through your pain, and come to terms with your loss. If friends and family aren’t as available as you need them to be, or if your need exceeds their capacity to help, consider attending a support group or seeking help from a bereavement counselor.<br />
<br />
<b><i>How grief is expressed varies among individuals. </i></b>Everyone grieves differently, according to their age, gender, personality, culture, value system, past experience with loss, and available support. <b><a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/10/how-we-mourn-understanding-our.html" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">Grieving differs among members of the same family</a></b>, as each person’s relationship with and attachment to the deceased family member varies. How you will react to this death depends on how you’ve responded to other crises in your life; on what was lost when this death happened (not only the life of the person who died, but certain aspects of your own life as well: your way of life; who you were in your relationship with that person and who you planned to be; your hopes and dreams for the future); on who died (spouse, parent, child, sibling, grandparent, relative, friend or other; how you lived together and what that person meant to you); on the person’s role in your family; on when the death occurred (at what point in the life cycle: yours as well as that of the person who died); and on how (the circumstances surrounding the death, and how the death occurred).<br />
<br />
<b><i>Certain manifestations of grief are typical, common and normal.</i></b> Although grief is as individual as you are, <b><a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/02/common-myths-and-misconceptions-about.html" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">some feelings and reactions are universal</a></b>. Their intensity will vary, and they’ll happen in no particular order. You may experience all, some or none of them; they may happen only once or many times, sometimes several years after your loved one’s death. Respect your own feelings and reactions. Take time to look, listen, experience and understand them. They are nature’s way of getting your attention.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Grief is a lifelong process. </i></b>While the agonizing pain of loss diminishes in intensity over time, <b><a href="https://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/index.php?/topic/2048-how-long-will-it-last/" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">it’s never gone completely</a></b>. It is absolutely normal to feel the aftershock of loss for the rest of your life. Grieving is not a reaction to a single event, like an illness that can be cured and from which you will recover. It’s more like a deep wound that eventually heals and closes, but whose terrible scar remains and still can hurt at times. <b><i>Sometimes the loss itself is ongoing</i></b>, since its source is irreversible and continues to be present throughout your life, with no forseeable end. (Examples include intellectual and developmental disabilities; chronic, degenerative conditions; lifelong mental health issues; infertility and involuntary childlessness; loss of vocation, calling or faith; and irreversible loss of functionality.)<br />
<br />
<b><i>Death may have ended your loved one’s life, but it did not end your relationship.</i></b> The bond you have will continue and endure throughout your lifetime, depending on how you take your memories and your past with you into the future. Many grievers report maintaining an active connection with their deceased loved ones by talking to them, dreaming about them, <b><a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/09/am-i-going-mad-mystical-experiences-in.html" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">sensing their presence</a></b> or feeling watched over and protected by them. It is normal and healthy to foster these <b><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-grieving-children/201005/thinking-about-continuing-bonds" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">continuing bonds</a></b>, as you decide how your loved one will be remembered, memorialized and included in your family and community life.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Time does not heal grief.</i></b> Time is neutral. It is not the passage of time alone that heals. It is what you do with time that matters. Now that this death has happened to you, you must decide what you can do with your grief. Grieving is an active process, not a passive one, and recovery is a choice. Coping with grief involves many courses of action, and as you find your way through this journey, you will learn how to use this grieving time to help you heal yourself.<br />
<br />
<b><i>There is no right or wrong way to do <a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/03/bereavement-doing-work-of-grief.html" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;">the work of grieving</a>.</i></b> There is only <i>your</i> way, and you must discover it for yourself. There is no magic formula, no short cut, and no easy way out. Grief is like a long, winding tunnel whose entrance is closed behind you, and the only way out is through.</div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-2018123310849140032017-08-24T23:45:00.000+01:002017-08-24T23:45:04.080+01:00Q & A with @DavidLeanLeano #PurpleFriday #CSASurvivors #ChildAbuse <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggVyrAt3F4YXx6B-SxqYzbW_gEIQc3dzonF5Sh8rzWeX4AUgrMgNqIFUth_mZWMCQI3kemANmhCKCGMG2WsjA_1wP9Qf3C-q61VXWYz_yiJVwCCio35Z163ANoopDGbZ5-g5Ftd4_GpdY4/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="467" data-original-width="700" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggVyrAt3F4YXx6B-SxqYzbW_gEIQc3dzonF5Sh8rzWeX4AUgrMgNqIFUth_mZWMCQI3kemANmhCKCGMG2WsjA_1wP9Qf3C-q61VXWYz_yiJVwCCio35Z163ANoopDGbZ5-g5Ftd4_GpdY4/s320/image.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif;"><b>David Lean is a proud ambassador for Voicing CSA and works tirelessly to bring awareness on the subject of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Exploitation. As a victim himself, Voicing CSA (on twitter as<span style="background-color: white;"> </span></b></span><a class="link-complex" data-user-name="Voicing_csa" href="https://twitter.com/Voicing_csa/" rel="user" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">@</span></span><span class="link-complex-target" style="font-family: "arial" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;">Voicing_csa</span></span></a> <b>) </b><b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">helped David to find his own voice.</b><br />
<b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;"><br /></b>
<b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">I got to know David through Twitter and his work spreading knowledge and trying to get the subjects of CSA and CSE trending in order to raise a more far reaching awareness of these often taboo subjects. He is a truly inspirational man.</b><br />
<b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQOGIWo_fE9NtJ0V1EarN67j7PAYCh51-aVMzELC5nSgZHgEayBlCMakILtlFL1lc4_MpwfG_Asivdzi7d5mgUZ-3i2L4GqQ9-D3cPhnejE8GGjLLtrOGxityUn4l-avIk7GIFKbwSTg1H/s1600/DH_99f9W0AEEa4f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQOGIWo_fE9NtJ0V1EarN67j7PAYCh51-aVMzELC5nSgZHgEayBlCMakILtlFL1lc4_MpwfG_Asivdzi7d5mgUZ-3i2L4GqQ9-D3cPhnejE8GGjLLtrOGxityUn4l-avIk7GIFKbwSTg1H/s320/DH_99f9W0AEEa4f.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;"><br /></b>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif;"><b>Please help us spread the word and let's turn Twitter Purple on September 15th!</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b>1 - What is #PurpleFriday?</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">#purplefriday is a very simple campaign I have created to raise huge awareness of both CSA & CSE by bringing everyone together on the same day. This is not about Charities or Survivor Groups. It is not even about Survivors, its about everyone young or old, men and women coming together and raising the unspoken subject in all walks of life for just one day. On<b><span style="color: purple;"> Friday September 15th</span></b> I want as many people as possible Worldwide to join us and wear purple items all day as they go about there life. As much or as little as they feel comfortable with. Hopefully this may get people in all walks of life asking about there purple items they are wearing and why! </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"> I would like everyone to post on all social media sites, photos of them wearing the purple items or just anything purple and turn social media purple for the day !!</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">Using #purplefriday we will also attempt to trend between 8pm-10pm that evening. Its free, easy to join in and will raise massive awareness if we all join in ! These issues are happening massively on a Worldwide scale !! With one voice we can raise awareness together !</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b>2 - What are your thoughts as to current UK attitudes towards child abuse in the media?</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">The UK media has improved over the last year and shows much more attention to Both CSA (Childhood Sexual Abuse) and CSE (Childhood Sexual Exploitation) for which Survivors are grateful but it is still nowhere near enough ! Much more can be done and it needs to hit all markets not just the news! Programmes aimed at younger children also need to be looked at.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14710" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b>3 - Do you think that the "authorities" are doing enough to raise awareness?</b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14710" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14710" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">Authorities are not doing enough. They are often much of the problem. Some appear to be doing a good job others are not ! Consistency in all areas when dealing with both CSA & CSE is so important. Best practice needs to be used across the Country. Once again we can always do much more and not close our eyes !</span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14710" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14711" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b>4 - With regards abuse in sports, do you think the various sports bodies are doing enough to expose and prevent abuse?</b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14711" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14711" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">Abuse in Sport is being looked at by many National Governing Bodies at this time. We will see how things pan out in football which is leading on the inquest at the moment. Again while coaches in many sports operate without much if any supervision and without National guidance and Support in many cases Child Abuse will continue to go on in Sport as in all walks of life. It has shown its ugly head in so many different sports and is happening today so all NGBs need to look at how this can be improved. Mandatory reporting is being looked at by many at this time.</span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14711" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14712" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b>5 - Are social media "giants" like Twitter and Facebook doing enough to fight child abuse?</b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14712" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14712" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"> I believe Social media certain help and can allow us to raise awareness through our tweets/posts etc. We are allowed to put detail into our posts again this helps. Local and National support is also easy to access contact details etc through social media for Survivors and many strong friendships grow through social media.</span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14712" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14713" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b>6 - What have your experiences with social media been like? I understand you have been blocked from tweeting etc.</b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14713" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14713" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"> I am unsure of exact details on how twitter works but we strongly believe that on a couple of campaigns we have driven to trend #CSASurvivors on twitter that we have been stopped from trending ? I have also had my account stopped 3 times during these periods for over 90 minutes ? I only hope this is not being driven by someone at twitter ?</span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14713" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14714" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b>7 - Do you think that the media coverage of high profile chld abuse cases helps or hinders those who have suffered from familial abuse?</b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14714" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14714" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"> High profile cases and media coverage is so needed! I understand its a difficult watch for many and some Survivors find it difficult also but it has to be done! We must show cases on very occasion to drive this out of the dark ages and into the light ! CSA & CSE must become a subject that is spoken about and we must no longer hide this ! Children of the future will be ruined if this continues to happen! It has already been proven there is a huge percentage of people in prison who have suffered some sort of abuse as a child ! The links are there we need to open our eyes and stop this!</span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14714" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14715" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b>8 - What changes would you like to see in how child abuse victims are treated?</b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14715" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14715" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">So many changes need to happen in the justice system ! Investigations need to be speeded up in all aspects of CSA & CSE ! Once you disclose to the police,cases can take years to actually get to court ! It can take 12 months just to get a Crown Court date! The best practise and consistency across the way Survivors are dealt with NEEDS to come in ASAP ! So many people have had bad experiences in the way they have been treated by both police and CPS and also within the Courts! </span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14715" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: small;" />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">I have also heard stories of people who have been treated well, believed from day one and treated with respect and compassion this needs to be the case every time. </span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14715" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: small;" />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">Sentencing laws need to change and be used. Its no good allowing Sentencing laws to be increased if judges don't use the maximums allowed to them ! The effects of CSA & CSE are massive and yet in many cases sentences such as 1 or 2 years are handed down!</span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14715" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: small;" />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">In many cases No conviction is even handed down? We need to encourage ALL survivors forward and you already have to go through reliving the events ! Interview after interview , then await CPS decision then wait another year for Court dates if you even get as far as cour ! For in many cases No conviction or a very small sentence given for Abuse towards a child ! How can this be right? </span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14715" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; font-family: arial; font-size: small;" />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">We also need to stop allowing these monsters the right to change there verdict on the day for a reduced sentence! </span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14715" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14716" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b>9 - Do you feel there is enough professional, specialised help available for male survivors?</b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14716" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14716" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;"> I was lucky and received counselling within a month of me disclosing to police through some funding available at that time. This area is a must for everyone who needs it after disclosure and must be compulsory all over the Country ! Not enough services or support are available at this time. Many Survivor groups offer support to the best of there ability but much more needs to be done as so many are not supported!</span></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14716" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div id="yiv0597414254aolmail_yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_14717" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
<b>10 - Are male victims of sexual abuse under more pressure to remain silent than female victims?</b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: x-small;">I believe men find it much more difficult to disclose than women and yes I believe they are under more pressure to remain silent. It is a hugely difficult for everyone but I believe it is often around 20 years longer for men to disclose than women. Something that I and many other men are working hard to change.</span></div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-75430481118489264812017-08-18T08:30:00.001+01:002017-08-24T17:42:03.256+01:00North Carolina SOL Reform NC HB585 via @KezStarbuck<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2473" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<div class="yiv4018597411gmail_default" id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2816" style="color: #666666; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglHW1Vl4etraRhpdeVkzyZHvJbzYYNVipnSue9yPwz-Z7sxpmBo35dqa2WQFKoShH17UY01S2aqufn2RwHRTpwYJlq_uDMffglEWTAvZj2BA_AZaXhf7smWY1UGz18msb-r0oITosqRoY1/s1600/IMG_6753.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglHW1Vl4etraRhpdeVkzyZHvJbzYYNVipnSue9yPwz-Z7sxpmBo35dqa2WQFKoShH17UY01S2aqufn2RwHRTpwYJlq_uDMffglEWTAvZj2BA_AZaXhf7smWY1UGz18msb-r0oITosqRoY1/s320/IMG_6753.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2473" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2473" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9593" style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
On April 6, 2017, the North Carolina House of Representatives introduced an historic bill designed to reform the statute of limitations, changing the existing law to provide survivors of child sexual abuse a revised legal mechanism to bring civil action for damages. Like all proposed legislation, the bill was "read" three times and then voted on by a caucus of House members, passing overwhelmingly, 112 yea, to only 3 nays. No doubt a very encouraging vote in favor of changing a law that has prevented survivors of child sexual abuse from finally holding those responsible for the devastating and debilitating damages typical of such heinous acts. </div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9591" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9589" style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
However, it's not time to celebrate—yet. The North Carolina Senate has to vote in favor of this legislative reform, before it will become law.</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9587" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9583" style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
NC HB585 was successfully and enthusiastically endorsed by the NC House of Representatives, who have recently been embroiled in battle over what will surely prove historically controversial decisions regarding the treatment of young people, victims of harassment and NC state laws dealing with designating bathroom assignment for transgendered individuals. </div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9599" style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
After the established confidence from the House side, NC HB585 was sent over to the Senate with great momentum. Alas, because of the annual cutoff deadline for getting new bills into the cue, and assuring a bill will receive a vote during the current session, HB585 became somewhat submerged beneath the chaos, likely placing it out of "sight and mind" while were deeply engrossed in an effort to get their bills over to the respective "other side" before the annual deadline would disqualify them until they can resubmit next session. Fortunately, HB585 successfully made the "crossover" deadline, and has since been patiently awaiting the early fall return of the Senate to finish the job.</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9601" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
The good news is the North Carolina Senate has now returned, is "in the saddle" as of August 3, 2017 and on the roster to be assigned to committee for reading and a vote.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
This where <b>your critical help</b> is needed. Bills like NC HB585 usually get quite a bit of media coverage as well as lobbyist attention. In our society it's a certainty bills dealing with sexual assault and justice are simply controversial. The US Conference of Catholic Bishops, the largest and most powerful lobbyists who vigorously oppose laws like this—predictably fight "tooth and nail" to prevent such legislation from passing to become law. I honestly find it quite disturbing, the incredible lengths to which the Catholic church will go, in an attempt to avoid culpability and the morally and civic responsibility to compensate survivors of rape and the sexual assault of innocent children by <i>their</i> priests. </div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
HB585, as far as I can tell, has not been targeted by the Conference of Catholic Bishops to-date, however the Boy Scouts of America are making a concerted effort to convince some NC Senators to reject this bill. </div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
In a nutshell, when made into law, HB585 will allow survivors to seek damages, including access to treatment and a chance of survival after enduring decades of suffering, poverty, mental and psychological illness and, in many cases, a total inability to function. </div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
Lives will be saved by passing NC HB585 into law, just as similar laws have done for survivors in many states across the country, reviving archaic legislation established long before the research findings shedding light on the often crippling and long-lasting affects from child sexual abuse. </div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
The Department of Justice's project, "Changing Minds Now," (<a dir="ltr" href="http://www.changingmindsnow.org/" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="background-color: transparent; color: #196ad4; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;" target="_blank">www.changingmindsnow.org</a>), published research findings summarizing comprehensive evidence of neurological damage to the delicate and vulnerable brains of young children exposed to trauma such as violence, abuse and crimes like child sexual abuse. This conclusive evidence illuminates and instructs how traumas like child sexual abuse causes lasting damage to the plastic and developing brains of young victims. Early interventional treatment has been found to be a key factor in mitigating potentially devastating developmental impact, affecting the future lives of survivors in devastating ways.</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9609" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9607" style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
North Carolina HB585 proposes a reform to the long-standing laws that continue to bar CSA survivors from bringing civil action and settlement for damages resulting to the atrocious trauma sustained by victims of sexual assault as children. Like so many states, the current NC law limits the window of time during which survivors can bring a civil lawsuit to 21 years of age. This provision has proven to be extremely unrealistic, resulting—as statistics inform—in survivors often never stepping forward to disclose what happened, much less seek legal remedy.</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9605" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9603" style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
Year after year, statistics show that only a small percentage of child sexual assault victims will step forward to bring criminal or civil charges, or at the very least simply make the declaration for their own purpose. When and if they do, the majority generally won't even do so until they are well into adulthood. By then, the psychological damage and impact has very likely manifested in a manner that effectively becomes life-halting. Symptoms of submerged psychological trauma and neuro-palthways damage that can simply no longer overlooked. Ar sime point survivors of child sexual abuse find themselves so overwhelmed by dysfunction, that the search for causation becomes a matter of solving, for many, seems a fundamental existential puppeteer. Multiple psychiatric diagnoses and subsequent hospitalizations are likely to have already taken place by this juncture. There are myriad reasons why survivors don't seek justice, or avoid telling ANYONE about this history until mid-to-late adulthood. The most common reasons are actually quite simple, despite what is apparently vastly mysterious and confounding to many critics. A great majority of victims of child sexual assault keep the facts secret because of an overwhelming sense of shame, and a suffocating fear of being blamed, accused of lying or fabricating their story. Another significant disincentive to disclose their story is the likelihood of a lengthy process of litigation and discovery, which inevitably involves extremely painful emotions and frankly inevitable revictimization.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
I have experienced all of these </div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
facets of emotion and circumstances personally, and despite my determination and efforts, both the civil and criminal cases I initiated were also ultimately dismissed after five years. More pain, trauma and the stark reality that settles in once the lawyers have dispersed and there you stand is solitary silence. You can't believe that you lost the legal right to compensation for being the sexual child victim of an adult who was morally bankrupt, admitted their guilt and one of the oldest, wealthiest and largest religious organizations in the universe not only refuses to apologize but is now legally allowed to turn their back on you. The Catholic church. Christians.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
And boy do they ever turn their back on you, as if ordained by god himself.</div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9611" style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
The criminal case ended because the defendant developed symptoms of dementia causing the judge to rule a dismissal due to his "inability to participate in legal proceedings." The civil case was dismissed by grant of "Summary Judgement," based on the current NC Statute of Limitations. Both decisions were rendered in August of 2015. Of interesting note, I learned the criminal case was the oldest "on the books" when it was dismissed. The defendant chronically claimed health restrictions and ambulatory problems to evade court appearances, while at the same time I've documented him enjoying numerous visits (out for lunch on the town) hosted by some of his 1,300 Facebook supporters. They posted photos of these social events and shared the "good cheer" postings from the online forum. He never told them he confessed the day he was arrested. </div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9613" style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
The Charlotte Diocese of North Carolina knew about the priest's confession, never informing their constituency, and knowingly allowing thousands of supporters to engage in a lengthy defamation effort against me online lasting two years. During the lengthy litigating period, the defendant claimed he was unwell and homebound, evidence of the dedication to defiance of justice and moral obligation by the Catholic Church. </div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
You might be interested to know, after the case rulings, I've contacted them repeatedly to demand an apology for the assaults to which their priest readily confessed. I've yet to receive any response.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
To read the actual language contained in the proposed HB585 legislation, already passed in the NC House of Representatives in April, please go to<a dir="ltr" href="http://www.ncleg.net/gascripts/billlookup/billlookup.pl?Session=2017&BillID=H585" rel="nofollow" shape="rect" style="background-color: transparent; color: #196ad4; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;" target="_blank">http://www.ncleg.net/gascripts/billlookup/billlookup.pl?Session=2017&BillID=H585</a> .</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
Any survivor who's had to cope with the affects of trauma will likely find the results of the research by Changing Minds Now, at the very least, very informative and instructive. And at best, perhaps find some empowerment learning that physiological changes may be at the root of the struggle they've endured. I hope survivors of the horrible trauma of child sexual abuse can one day benefit from improved treatment, refined by the insights and results from integrating findings from this research. The opportunity to develop related treatment solutions can legitimately translate into improving lives and restoring functionality for survivors who otherwise, honestly, don't have many meaningful options available. </div>
<div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9626" style="direction: ltr; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
You can actually help get NC HB585 legislation passed, and help to empower survivors to pursue justice after a lifetime of enduring the horrible, devastating symptoms so often resulting from the horrific damages of child sexual abuse. Below you'll find an email address, to which if you send an email (You MUST include "HB585" in the subect), you'll receive a response containing a list of email addresses, names and phone numbers for every North Carolina Senator. Additionally, a copy of the current HB585 language with links to resources related to this process and the NC General Assembly, will be included. Then, you can contact them and tell them how incredibly important it is to protect children and survivors by voting YES on North Carolina HB585.</div>
<div class="yiv4467531765yqt9382609601" id="yiv4467531765yqtfd62851" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif;">
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9624">
<br clear="none" /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9620" style="direction: ltr;">
This law belongs to the survivors of child sexual assault everywhere, Americans and residents of the great state of North Carolina. It belongs to us because we've proven that our Constitution guarantees American citizens have a unique power to change laws in this country, and we will not stand for the systematic destruction of the lives of innocent children. Period.</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_9622" style="direction: ltr;">
<div class="yiv4018597411gmail_default" id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2816" style="color: #666666; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif;">
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2821" style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2827" style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
The following URL links to a victim's statement.</div>
</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2830">
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2829">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2833">
<a href="https://youtu.be/aSzPCXjGPWw" id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2832" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: transparent; color: #196ad4; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/aSzPCXjGPWw</a></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2835">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2837">
Please view the video and call NC Senators to urge them to vote in favor of NC HB585. The House of Representatives introduced the bill on April 5, 2017 and by April 17 they secured a passing vote - 112 Yea to 3 Nay - with no changes be administrative.</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2839">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2841">
This bill will continue the fight to secure the safety and security of innocent children, helping to protect them from the trauma of child sexual assault, and help protect the survivors as they endeavor to live their lives and overcome such catastrophic trauma.</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2843">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2865">
<span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2864" style="color: #666666; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">For more information and details, </span><br />
<div class="yiv4018597411gmail_default" style="display: inline;">
<span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2864" style="color: #666666; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">simply email </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;">a request to </span><a href="mailto:NCH5852017@gmail.com" id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1503041078529_2863" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: transparent; color: #196ad4; font-family: tahoma, sans-serif; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;" target="_blank" ymailto="mailto:NCH5852017@gmail.com">NCH5852017@gmail.com</a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "segoe ui" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "lucida grande" , sans-serif;">Thank you for reading.</span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-1024344439429721162017-06-11T06:22:00.000+01:002017-06-11T06:22:08.482+01:00All you need is LOVE by @survivorsburg #loveisall <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Another gem from my very good friend May Thomson.<br />
<b><br /></b>
May has helped me through some very rough times and I can safely say I would not be here today if not for her kindness and strength of character. She is a true superstar.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuYdVV3s-RMHZjhDks3QzRI3FliTQfiNxQChoEIiRSNdMPBBWnLaK5KXpkM8tO_P1ppqPbY0Ed34trq7BAY2MY3-fJVqMNK3-D5jky0CMxQk0d8JCbVCOnnSgFUW3louXc-kACgUzDzZiV/s1600/1%252520radio.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="604" data-original-width="453" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuYdVV3s-RMHZjhDks3QzRI3FliTQfiNxQChoEIiRSNdMPBBWnLaK5KXpkM8tO_P1ppqPbY0Ed34trq7BAY2MY3-fJVqMNK3-D5jky0CMxQk0d8JCbVCOnnSgFUW3louXc-kACgUzDzZiV/s320/1%252520radio.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b>Before I got sick</b><br />
<br />
In my last job, before I got sick, I was a steward/security officer and stewarded rugby matches, football matches, security of property etc and some big gigs all over Britain.<br />
<br />
I have met a lot of people from all over the world, folk like myself, others rich and famous, all walks of life including two royal gigs at Edinburgh and London - amazing experiences all of them!<br />
<br />
One constant I always had in my work life, no matter if you the boss or my colleagues customers, all get treated the same and it applies to the rule set too:- i.e rules for each gig different e.g doing stage door if no pass I not care who you say you are not getting in, ask the drummer of Status Quo!Rick Parfitt had to come to his rescue at usher hall lol lol.<br />
<br />
I was not superviser management, just a steward or so I thought.<br />
<br />
Sadly we had a family loss and I was off work quite a while with the adjustments etc. On my return to one of regular football venues I had the most uplifting joyous experiences I could ever wish for.<br />
<br />
A young supporter of the team I was stewarding for, his grandfather and his dad, wow he was a short little boy. I thought he was about 7 yrs old but then discovered he was 11. In my first week back at work this little boys granddad spotted me first he nudged his grandson gesturing to look up which this little boy did his face lit up with such joy let go his granddads hand and came running to me saying "your back!your back! I am so glad your back!" ( choke) with a huge hug.<br />
<br />
Before this I had spoken to little boy a couple of times and knew his granddad brought him in as his dad not in till later as he was a landlord.<br />
I asked the little chap why are you so happy that I am back? He said "Because I like you! You are always nice and you smile at me when I come in", wow that blew me away.<br />
<br />
Till that day I thought I was just an average steward but that taught me so much. Yes I was one small part of a very large team but even my small contribution of carrying out my job correctly for the company I worked for to the best of my abitlies made an impact to the customers I served too.<br />
<br />
This venue was also where young fans copied heroes, national football star putting feet on back of seats etc. The Scotland team got told same as the supporters coming down. One little boy said "Do you know who you just told off misses?" No, I replied. He said the players name and that he was a Scotland player. I told him yes well he's no different to you in these seats! So he gets told off too!! He thought I was so cool he really made me smile.<br />
<br />
These interactions help build who you are today. Everyone I meet I respect and love till they prove themselves unworthy of it, and that applies to everyone. If it's in an official capacity I abide by the rules and I don't change.<br />
<br />
I am no longer able to be employed but that does not mean I don't work. I just work differently and I don't get paid for my work.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXMFJis9QiIf03852Ys_csrhgnIE6LINvRBp1ZEYst2E1Wt8jP5U4V1_NlrMmFNUE5QkBSI6kXm1zvEY4XUrrPkHS_G7VFw5DJkKfs4X2qWJt5M8Nf5afSOqXHkIWRbFZykLPOccPW0Kmp/s1600/trial%252520and%252520treckula.JPG.opt382x297o0%252C0s382x297.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="297" data-original-width="382" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXMFJis9QiIf03852Ys_csrhgnIE6LINvRBp1ZEYst2E1Wt8jP5U4V1_NlrMmFNUE5QkBSI6kXm1zvEY4XUrrPkHS_G7VFw5DJkKfs4X2qWJt5M8Nf5afSOqXHkIWRbFZykLPOccPW0Kmp/s320/trial%252520and%252520treckula.JPG.opt382x297o0%252C0s382x297.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Yes I write poetry which I hope helps others on difficult days etc or to say thank you for what others have done for me.<br />
Behind the scenes I talk to people because I have crazy view points on lots of things that others find funny and helpful dealing with their issues etc, or to try to bring balance to issues etc.<br />
<br />
But, even for me, life lately has been very challenging - from being taken seriously ill (life threatening), to humiliation, to husband having accident, to bad customer services which left someone normally so positive as me feeling useless and worthless i.e on benefits with finances not stretching enough etc etc.<br />
<br />
I am not useless or worthless.<br />
<br />
I am a unwell, loving, caring human being who has feelings and emotions.<br />
<br />
I am really fed up that people like me become the enemy because of mainstream media and political agenda.<br />
<br />
My accident happened at end of my working shift.<br />
<br />
In our situation one emergency can take 6 to 12 weeks to recover from financially. We have to take a deep breath and start long slog back again.<br />
<br />
The media portrays us as scroungers, lazy good for nothing individuals. I am not saying that some are like that but most of us were hard working people before our circumstances changed.<br />
<br />
I don't claim for anything extra i.e fuel costs, hospital travel, car tax etc etc. What we get pays everything we can off. Our car? Well that is required not a luxury as my mobility is very poor and my husband visits his ill mum every 2nd week and is on emergency standby 24/7. We are not the type of people to claim and get everything we can. We claim and take only what we need. The basics.<br />
<br />
The "work" I do now would not be possible if I was still able to work full time because what I do can be called for anytime night or day.<br />
<br />
Unlike medical professionals, I don't have time limits.. If it takes 10/15 minute or 4/5 hours of talking to someone to help them through then that's what happens.<br />
<br />
I don't have all the answers to every question because my knowledge is based only on my own experiences,<br />
<br />
Even more so since my accident and losing my job. I thought my life was over.. I thought "what can I do now?" luckily in 2008 I discovered poetry which was to become my new path.<br />
<br />
Most of my "work" i.e poetry, talking to others, sharing my own story etc is how I help and give to society today.<br />
<br />
A few years ago I was called "Benefit Scum". At the time it really hurt and enraged all the normal feeling of a loving, caring human being, and felt like being kicked in the teeth.<br />
<br />
But it did make me look more closely at myself. Firstly were they right? After much thought the answer was No, I do not take take take and give nothing back.<br />
<br />
I have offered talks to medical students, law students, police trainee’s etc. The fact they choose not to take me up on my offer is their loss sadly.<br />
<br />
At 55 yrs old and unwell I would see myself as useless and worthless because I am at the moment unable to make my own living.<br />
<br />
Well nothing could be further from the truth! I have purpose! I have hope! and... I have a dream! <br />
<br />
All of thid because I have the most valuable ingredient of all..<br />
<br />
I have<b> LOVE</b>.<br />
<br />
May Thomson 2017<br />
<br />
Aka Survivorsburg<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr_FwBfeMkF07FmLH3p3rTf7Dg6D9hMVSC-uMxShyphenhyphenu2hqfIrfOz7mTfEF29tEpRcPtPzEnI37VXAGYCoMID5-jD7ixDSgWKW0J1oLBzTJQU7MiAdt7m41hM_kiZarKVOvZeMNsp9UlGUZB/s1600/the%252520dream%252520came%252520true.jpg.opt820x583o0%252C0s820x583.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="583" data-original-width="820" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr_FwBfeMkF07FmLH3p3rTf7Dg6D9hMVSC-uMxShyphenhyphenu2hqfIrfOz7mTfEF29tEpRcPtPzEnI37VXAGYCoMID5-jD7ixDSgWKW0J1oLBzTJQU7MiAdt7m41hM_kiZarKVOvZeMNsp9UlGUZB/s320/the%252520dream%252520came%252520true.jpg.opt820x583o0%252C0s820x583.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-22973971522395501352017-06-10T12:29:00.002+01:002017-06-10T16:55:45.017+01:00Inner Child via @SurvivorsBurg #stopchildabuse<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
What can I say about my guest blogger this week..<br />
<br />
May Thomson is most certainly one of a kind. She has battled and overcome so very much. What makes her stand out is her humour and quick wit, combined with compassion and empathy. She is simply amazing. I have known her now for six years and my life is a better place for having her in it. Thank you May, my wee Scottish Thistle xx<br />
<br />
<b>Inner Child</b><br />
<br />
<br />
The last 11 years have had to do a lot of work on my inner child to help keep me to my normal, sadly I find most survivors still hate their inner child. “Yes it has even recovered” taken me over ten years to love my own,<br />
<br />
I read an article on a journalist interviewing old male survivors in Ireland and most prominent thing he saw was men turning back to boys as they told their own stories, I think this field of any survivor needs lot more work and could help recover the survivor quicker it is also mostly the part deepest buried and neglected even by survivors themselves<br />
<br />
When I was unwell I always felt trapped and could not escape thought I never would and why I tried killing myself so many times to escape it,<br />
That is one of the major keys that gets over looked most survivors are trapped in childhood some adapt, others addiction, crime, mental illness,ect ect ect,<br />
<br />
The first time one of my abusers who was arrested my Father:<br />
No protection laws in the 70’s so his name in papers, (School life became such a joy NOT), no counselling for individuals or family, occasional visit from a social worker,<br />
A mother who was also toxic verbally and physically abusive to her children and not coping with 5 now dysfunctional children,<br />
Today all 5 of us 4 unrecovered and struggle everyday and me recovered 11yr, I would give everyone of siblings what I have but sadly mother and fathers legacy left Dysfunctional Family most don't speak to each other not all but most.<br />
<br />
Then two 1/2 sisters once again the mother not change so now 2 more,<br />
So 7 children 6 struggling with their lives in some way,<br />
Sadly for me most don't talk to me especially but I remember the essences of who they were when we were brother and sisters together for each other because that all we had each other,<br />
Once again unwell I hated them as much as they hate me,after recovery no it breaks my heart, I cant help them I can't tell them about the recovery and the insight it gives you to what actually happened to us to point of waring not talking ect ect ,<br />
Our mother 17 yrs dead I have tried continually to build bridges with my siblings who don't talk, and will till day I Die not their fault but our abusers and toxic parenting that caused us to be like they are, I was.<br />
<br />
Filled with hate guilt ect ect 1thing I can see don't think they can when we were all together the common enemy was our Father, as his children we loved him we were told to, but we also hated him with a great passion his cruelty his abuse,<br />
<br />
But once the enemy is removed what then? That's were I fit in I became the enemy police interviewed me first and after our father was arrested anything went wrong in family my fault,<br />
But remember I am only aged 9-11yrs old myself at this time of pure turmoil,<br />
<br />
I can tell you now if you asked all 7 of us same questions about our fathers and mother yes similarities but each different,<br />
As we all see circumstances differently, but each their own truth of how they either saw it or felt at that time in our lives,<br />
<br />
My family lived in England at this time for me I only wanted to go home,go home tae Ma Bonnie Scotland and I did not care how I got it I did not enjoy living in England my heart my soul was always in Scotland,<br />
<br />
My uncle started taken me on holidays home to Scotland and eventually I moved in with him, most would think idyllic sadly not he became my last abuser,<br />
Until I was aged 23yrs when I finally got out and stayed out,<br />
<br />
Today as I write this I was asked a Question long time since I was last asked but so fitting for the article on Childhood memories no one can erase,<br />
Why don't you just forget about your past and move on,<br />
Normally the question itself would infuriate me, this time I challenged it,<br />
I will never forget my past but I don't live there anymore, I live today and use my past to help others or inform others,<br />
<br />
Forget my past no because I deny a very important part of what shaped me good or bad it has helped me become who I am today, and today I am very proud of what I have overcame to become who I am.<br />
<br />
A Scottish poetess a recovered survivor who everyday puts Love into the world instead of anger hatred and pain, I went through that so I could truly love again starting with myself because if you don't love any part of you is when difficulty in dealing with life starts,<br />
Lot of my knowledge especially in retrieving your inner child has only came last 11years since I found the recovery from the after effects of my abuse,<br />
And been my key to so much insight and as I have said previously does not make immune to emotional crashes from my past just deal and cope with them differently today a more balanced approach to daily problems, some that can trigger wanted or unwanted memories of our childhood.<br />
<br />
Most of my life I hated the little girl in me, she was sad pathetic helpless person,<br />
When in reality she was such a strong little girl, living most of her life pillar to post between parents and relatives,<br />
No stability in this little girls life even at home fights beating abuse even starvation at times,<br />
<br />
So she shut down today best we estimate about 5/6 yrs old, and the 48 year battle to bring her back to life again.<br />
The journey to helping and recovering my inner child started over 10 yrs ago after the recovery, bit by bit memories finally sorted and layed to rest, feelings emotions bit by bit needed sorted out, the hardest part was judging my inner child with who I am today the experience ect each time I tackled my inner child, we forget as children we did not have same knowledge skills ect that we judge our inner child with today,<br />
Which then means giving ourselves a very hard time for what we didn't do to stop it ect,<br />
Today also the grooming side of abuse is more recognised which wasn't back in my earlier life,<br />
How my uncle became my last abuser groomed me for 2 yrs before going to live with him,<br />
<br />
Many ask why didn't I just go back to my mum and family I tried that twice last time was told go back to Scotland you are no longer part of this family,<br />
It destroyed me at the time the final betrayal I only had my uncle or so it seemed to me at the time.<br />
I felt useless worthless unloved and the spiral towards mental illness set in,<br />
From 14 yrs old I was on a mission to end my life most serious attempt 21yrs old,<br />
Luckily I survived yet again.<br />
<br />
Today I love and care for my inner child I hug her everyday,I tell her I love her how beautiful she is everything a mothers love should give her daughter,<br />
I now give to myself, I am not a parent that does not mean I don't know how to parent,<br />
So I parent that little girl yes she still get frighten scared ect so I comfort her,<br />
Because that little girl inside my rock she strong talented and very loving and has a zest for life that's boundless.<br />
Mostly today she is also happy little girl and it shines out the adult I have became.<br />
<br />
We cannot change our pasts but we can heal the pain within by lovingly parenting ourselves first.<br />
<br />
If we want a world of peace it starts with the children today, simple example: how many parents smack their children? this is the child's first teaching probably of violence towards them parent can't cope so smacks child,<br />
And rather than face and feel the violence the child will shut off or worse shut down,<br />
<br />
Prior to recovery I could not rescue her I could not cope or deal with her demands, always wanting attention ect ect but in my head was driving me crazy mostly because I did not understand myself her or our needs at the time.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQhhVsWEfdr-dj7XpcFwm4Ek7_WzQlu28p9zsc0y8XkavMg-0P94AhQXMuAQpyAWIw_hAjip5L-VkYXRvZlmYfgIIPiRj0Ftkc0eJR03FID05AYMtJlDcdD1vtWEH5F84Er7oIpWvEe5Ge/s1600/dddd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQhhVsWEfdr-dj7XpcFwm4Ek7_WzQlu28p9zsc0y8XkavMg-0P94AhQXMuAQpyAWIw_hAjip5L-VkYXRvZlmYfgIIPiRj0Ftkc0eJR03FID05AYMtJlDcdD1vtWEH5F84Er7oIpWvEe5Ge/s320/dddd.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Website - http://www.survivorsburg2006.com/<br />
<br />
Twitter - @Survivorsburg<br />
<br />
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/survivorsburg/ </div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-38709556393563471392017-03-30T21:28:00.002+01:002021-05-22T21:20:21.471+01:00Phoenix Warriors - Beyond The Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse with @26PeacockLady<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
</h4>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">"Phoenix Warriors - Beyond The Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse"</span></b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<b id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5572" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Donna Bailey and Ján L Frayne met online in the early part of 2012.</b><br />
<br />
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5538" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;" /></b><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5537" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="yiv7037564198" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5570" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><b id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5569" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">After much discussion they decided there was need for a book that addressed the issues of childhood sexual abuse from a new angle. </b></span><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5567" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;" /></b><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5551" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="yiv7037564198" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5550" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><b id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5549" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">They decided to collaborate on a book which would reflect gender perspectives and international perspectives as well as a more natural approach to healing and living with the aftermath of abuse. The book crosses boundaries that others do not and helps the reader understand why they feel as they do and how to improve all aspects of their life post abuse.</b></span><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5552" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;" /></b><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5556" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="yiv7037564198" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5555" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><b id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5554" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">Through their personal experiences and through trying to find materials for themselves, they found that there is not enough content out there and would like to change that.</b></span><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5557" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;" /></b><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5562" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="yiv7037564198" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5561" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><b id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5560" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">Both have had many experiences which hold opportunities for learning and growth, and in passing on this knowledge their hope is to reach out to and help many others through their own healing journeys.</b></span><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5579" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><br style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;" /></b><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5526" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="yiv7037564198" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><b style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;">This is their story. They will share their experiences with difficult topics and concepts that are often hard to understand and share what worked for them. </b></span><span style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"></span></span></div>
</div>
<div id="yiv7037564198yui_3_16_0_1_1444761026004_10683" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white;">
<div class="yiv7037564198MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5531" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px; background-color: white; padding: 0px;">
<span class="yiv7037564198" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5530" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><b id="yui_3_16_0_1_1490882239120_5529" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Healing should be a very personal experience, not everyone is the same or reacts to the same stimuli in the same way. This book is not intended as a “do as we say”, more “do what feels right for you”… </span></b></span><br />
<span class="yiv7037564198" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><b style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b></span>
<span class="yiv7037564198" style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><b style="-webkit-padding-start: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Expect the new book during Summer 2022!</span></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-81810275510187995452016-12-23T08:40:00.002+00:002016-12-23T08:40:43.349+00:00If #poetry <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgxUn-MPzY6OApJkq0OoZ8Bj_o3gG_Und6I6fJWFZSVp4AjBEP7s1sMdWJYFFjBIyKHTtxsXyjud0FMKeayAj2flXO7Ere0eGjGAQZcCBt4O88zJhsiyO4x-jzNQiNp0W2j1bZyNj9JoVm/s1600/d75e4fcbbb8fca0d4cc838fe6507991f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgxUn-MPzY6OApJkq0OoZ8Bj_o3gG_Und6I6fJWFZSVp4AjBEP7s1sMdWJYFFjBIyKHTtxsXyjud0FMKeayAj2flXO7Ere0eGjGAQZcCBt4O88zJhsiyO4x-jzNQiNp0W2j1bZyNj9JoVm/s320/d75e4fcbbb8fca0d4cc838fe6507991f.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<b><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">If f</span><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">orever is something</span></b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">that I can explain</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">Will I trade you that knowledge</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">when you whisper my name</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">If confusion and desperation</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">are things I understand</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">Would healing come faster</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">from the warmth of my hand</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">If trust is a thing</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">that I cannot hold</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">Will our happiness be something</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">that’s never foretold</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">And if this is true</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">Can we feed on our insanity</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">And live in this world</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">of frustration and vanity</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">When that something inside you</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">decides to stop yearning</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">You’ll find me wherever</span><br style="background-color: #fffdfd; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;" /><span style="background-color: #fffdfd; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 17.6px;">a fire is burning</span></b></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-25188540570414659602016-12-04T16:08:00.000+00:002016-12-04T16:08:05.850+00:00The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year? <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Christmas is coming...... I have always loved Christmas, the build up, the sharing, time with friends and family. Almost every year as an adult I end up depressed....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj71wlOTxO3y4dvq5Gk42u_Fbe_dYr1B-FpWdQZ1Hw6oDLw2rxE4R2k5XwneW124Dm3fE75X9bscjd7dv4ceKt8sEcLonLSNljmOiHQ_dHDfUZ7ikTeGsGS2H4yoSuxT-CAm2YOgXZZnTNR/s1600/2170436141_b61c3ca5e3_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="240px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj71wlOTxO3y4dvq5Gk42u_Fbe_dYr1B-FpWdQZ1Hw6oDLw2rxE4R2k5XwneW124Dm3fE75X9bscjd7dv4ceKt8sEcLonLSNljmOiHQ_dHDfUZ7ikTeGsGS2H4yoSuxT-CAm2YOgXZZnTNR/s320/2170436141_b61c3ca5e3_o.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It has improved over the last few years. Acknowledging the fact it exists, and then sharing that knowledge is so important. I know now the reasons why I struggle over Christmas.. A need to please, wanting everything to go well, I plan and prepare and plot too much. The grandfather was born on Christmas Day... That used to really bug me. Gifts I received for Christmas used to vanish soon afterwards and I'd get the blame. In truth he sold them to pay for his Whisky habit...<br />
<br />
I almost got into that "habit" myself as an adult. Drink was such an easy escape, then mornings came and feelings of guilt, shame and the hangover. I hid this for years. It was always worse at Christmas.<br />
<br />
I spent a couple of Christmases totally alone, not seeing anyone. I hated it and now if I hear of anyone spending the day alone I invite them over. Christmas is no time to be alone.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDxcS-uv8L-kU2wEwVP23B7XMvlE_oYDNGGupDBOK4U8sI-JXflArJiYWDMMJtTnX_zbQNAyljKMMz92Q3hvF5ViHu-JYIbdtgFWNDRMX3rMPFLrAoY-15h88KWJkNHpmSdXNdNgtq9Zhk/s1600/11526730134_be5c717785_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDxcS-uv8L-kU2wEwVP23B7XMvlE_oYDNGGupDBOK4U8sI-JXflArJiYWDMMJtTnX_zbQNAyljKMMz92Q3hvF5ViHu-JYIbdtgFWNDRMX3rMPFLrAoY-15h88KWJkNHpmSdXNdNgtq9Zhk/s320/11526730134_be5c717785_b.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
‘Tis the season to be jolly..... Apparently December is not only the month where depression is most likely to hit you but it also has the highest rate of suicides. It’s the month where family and friends should be getting together, where you plan your Christmas and decorate the home etc.<br />
<br />
Many things can trigger deeper depression in December...<br />
<br />
Loneliness, bereavement and grieving, failed business or loss of a job. The breakup of a relationship. Ill health generally. All likely to set you on the road to depression at any time, but worse at this time of year.<br />
<br />
Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D) adds to the equation. The long nights and short days, the frequent lack of sunshine...<br />
<br />
I love the idea of Christmas but hate the commercialism that this celebration has been overtaken with.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJTIsLEsCuvCtv5u_mamGLTr5a0HWrr4HttqQaVqOzu-NI3s8n71omXt2y7eazWwChvepR_hoycc-ang29iojpapq69zirLBmbwFrKHhT4Ged3gza_ANpQoU2oIpceFnSd6PpS0W06DShM/s1600/Sale-Christmas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJTIsLEsCuvCtv5u_mamGLTr5a0HWrr4HttqQaVqOzu-NI3s8n71omXt2y7eazWwChvepR_hoycc-ang29iojpapq69zirLBmbwFrKHhT4Ged3gza_ANpQoU2oIpceFnSd6PpS0W06DShM/s320/Sale-Christmas.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
It's the most wonderful time of the year...<br />
<br />
Coping with depression is bad enough, but trying to do so when everyone else is extra happy makes it harder to reach out, to ask for help. We don't want to stand out from the crowd so instead we cut ourselves off. Not wanting to drag others down into our depression we stand alone, and watch from the sidelines.<br />
Instances of depression are higher in those who have suffered trauma in their earlier lives. At a time of year where people are getting together to celebrate, those with depression are most likely to feel more isolated. Unable to join in, to embrace the season of good will, they sink further and further into a pit of gloom.<br />
<br />
Alone in crowd. I have often felt most lonely when there are people hustling and bustling around me, laughing and joking. Not wanting to spoil their festive fun I would either paint a false smile on my face or just vanish into the shadows. Christmas can be a very stressful time for anyone. For those prone to depression it can be a nightmare.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhANJZ83ymmffNlr1yJyVJ6HYth_2rqGakhXEre9NCaD0vhTCqw-_bog7HWvX11zU9ywuMgZakmqcJSHUzgD0SqwYgRm1QVW_i2m6NnS9oRyaVq_LSxcyAHUvMexQbRlyWqQlIsYiTUXD7F/s1600/screen-shot-2013-12-09-at-6-40-18-pm.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhANJZ83ymmffNlr1yJyVJ6HYth_2rqGakhXEre9NCaD0vhTCqw-_bog7HWvX11zU9ywuMgZakmqcJSHUzgD0SqwYgRm1QVW_i2m6NnS9oRyaVq_LSxcyAHUvMexQbRlyWqQlIsYiTUXD7F/s320/screen-shot-2013-12-09-at-6-40-18-pm.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
Though there has been more publicity over the issue of Christmas depression in recent years, it is still not understood. The most important thing you can do is tell someone how you feel. Reach out before the season starts and share. Communication is much easier now. Social media and the internet generally helps bring people together. Telephone someone, talk to someone. See your Doctor or Priest, just don't sit at home alone. There is no shame in admitting that you get depressed and you may be suprised to find others feeling the same way. All to often those who find themselves getting depressed do nothing about it.<br />
<br />
Depression can deeply affect your life. It can sneak up and disrupt your work, your home life, your health generally and can lead you to neglect those around you that need you well. Grab a hold of the problem and do something about it.The most important thing is to reach out, ask for help, talk to someone.<br />
<div style="border: medium none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: medium none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixt9Un_3HmsW_EMXwbW_ro78BwBVyyViRBQYwkRApscty0n9fqnxyHXa0kCYNbpEy8OZKRxYrq5_6-xuBrIlucgYOJwWL8v9hxGpiMWRjT5DQW2iCD2x80h0z3ux31y81eLm7ElbpF0Xna/s1600/christmas-puppy-ron-dahlquist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="212px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixt9Un_3HmsW_EMXwbW_ro78BwBVyyViRBQYwkRApscty0n9fqnxyHXa0kCYNbpEy8OZKRxYrq5_6-xuBrIlucgYOJwWL8v9hxGpiMWRjT5DQW2iCD2x80h0z3ux31y81eLm7ElbpF0Xna/s320/christmas-puppy-ron-dahlquist.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div>
<div style="border: medium none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: medium none;">
Don't let depression destroy your Christmas or that of those around you. The power to do something about it is in your hands. Do you want to become another statistic? Please remember there is no shame in asking for help. This is the season of goodwill to all men and if Scrooge can do it then so can you. </div>
<div style="border: medium none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="border: medium none;">
If you are prone to Christmas depression then reach out, tell someone. Seek help if needs be.</div>
<div style="border: medium none;">
</div>
<div style="border: medium none;">
If you know someone who appears to be slipping into a depression or who always gets the winter blues reach out to them. It won't kill you and you might just save a life.<br />
<br />
Be nice to yourself, be kind to yourself. The greatest gift is that of love so remember to love yourself too.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
To finish.. A little message from me!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZW3O4V36-1z2juOn_3SfXSxqDHppy9InVvW9KGby86NpF3MAB9JirKTJpAZ7pSect6NO-FffkF0y8C1VfU56HXgINfmGhx7GUiWLUQDkypRuQbFKVc53AnQsAgnHO3QbI5xYUl_5bOln9/s1600/325bc9917baf2e09ea3d7514580cc8fa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZW3O4V36-1z2juOn_3SfXSxqDHppy9InVvW9KGby86NpF3MAB9JirKTJpAZ7pSect6NO-FffkF0y8C1VfU56HXgINfmGhx7GUiWLUQDkypRuQbFKVc53AnQsAgnHO3QbI5xYUl_5bOln9/s1600/325bc9917baf2e09ea3d7514580cc8fa.jpg" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-74000273710463484382016-10-29T00:17:00.001+01:002019-01-14T22:01:19.453+00:00Midnight Waltz #Halloween<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmmfVpw72WdMSMl8Gx55wPCXa6_xQ_DJ8sx9upSAYqexTBJ53WJNixx3Yu5y7UIyCJrvkICYdHWu1_20oOsvXr06k6kJg_aqE27J3hTQW3fxTPcSGUvvjdfagBHAx0B6R8klwQqnqS-_Sf/s1600/4dfe43a99440e56e784c947fcb3ced63.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmmfVpw72WdMSMl8Gx55wPCXa6_xQ_DJ8sx9upSAYqexTBJ53WJNixx3Yu5y7UIyCJrvkICYdHWu1_20oOsvXr06k6kJg_aqE27J3hTQW3fxTPcSGUvvjdfagBHAx0B6R8klwQqnqS-_Sf/s320/4dfe43a99440e56e784c947fcb3ced63.jpg" width="177" /></a></div>
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"> A midnight waltz with a fallen angel</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><b><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;">And your dreams will be fulfilled</span></b></b></div>
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;">
<span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"></span></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><b>The stars will twinkle with the beat</b></span></b></div>
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"></span></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><b>Of knowledge for which some have killed</b></span></b></div>
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"></span></b>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><b>Behind the curtain of darkness</b></span></b></div>
<b style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: center;"><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Lies a single ray of light</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Shadows of the past at your heels</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>A pain that holds you tight</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>I come to you with a simple offer</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>A dance to meet your every goal</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>I'll give you your dreams on a burning plate</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>But in return, in return, I want your soul</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>My enchanting tune will lure you in</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>And test the power of your will</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>While a breeze of suppression hides the truth</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>My intent is purely ill</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>I'll take the form of anything</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>To beguile you with my charm</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Don't worry! It's just a little dance</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>How could it bring you harm?</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>A moonlit dance with destiny</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Will cure you of all your ills</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Will you be able to withstand the temptation</b></div>
</span><span style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Or will you submit to a midnight waltz?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
</span></b></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-58473876340756350182016-10-02T10:02:00.000+01:002016-10-02T10:02:04.348+01:00You Deserve Your Own Love by Patricia Singleton via @patriciasinglet <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-family: '';">
This is a reblog from a few years ago. It's message is so important I wanted to share it again.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I would like to introduce you to a shining light, a lady in every sense of the word. I feel so fortunate that she has written this for my guest slot. Knowing her is both a privilege and an honour.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I will let Patricia introduce herself further in her own words.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: ''; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_mLcmaF-5WMnr4YcG2BaVkD2MI2NGp0mlzbXNu0tPNQhRdexqUi-hSu7FWuDQ90lwZs2iEGwIAq_8SS8K191Do_rfeWOCsQ3nyL5eq5ZjW6k8MFrngS9QTR8F_Uezm8fU8IScQHI24rC/s1600/19810.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9_mLcmaF-5WMnr4YcG2BaVkD2MI2NGp0mlzbXNu0tPNQhRdexqUi-hSu7FWuDQ90lwZs2iEGwIAq_8SS8K191Do_rfeWOCsQ3nyL5eq5ZjW6k8MFrngS9QTR8F_Uezm8fU8IScQHI24rC/s320/19810.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I have been on a spiritual path my entire life but only in the last 12 years have I known what that entailed. My spiritual beliefs are taken from varied religions and my inner knowing. On my fireplace mantle, you will find pictures of American Indians, wolves, buffaloes, and eagles. You will find feathers, stones, crystals, essential oils, and candles. You will find pictures of Jesus, Mother Mary, Krishna, Ganesh and Sai Baba. I believe in all of them. The more I grow spiritually, the more expansive the Universe and my God become. I have been to India three times to visit Sai Baba. I was told to go home and worship the God of my understanding and to pay more attention to my own inner teacher. My stories are just a point of reference for who I am today. I don't go around identifying myself as all of my experiences. Before I started blogging, I had even stopped calling myself an Incest Survivor because that wasn't who I was any longer. I only do it now as a point of reference to offer what I have learned about myself because of the incest to others who might need the hope and love that I have learned. We are all so much more than our experiences can define us as.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
You Deserve Your Own Love</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Buddha</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
If you asked me what had the greatest effect on my healing from incest, I would tell you learning to love myself brought about the best changes in my life. The book Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth written by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse helped me to begin to love myself.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Another book that helped me was Compassion and Self-Hate: An Alternative to Despair written by Theodore I. Rubin. Before I could love myself, I first needed to accept that I hated myself. I grew up hating myself because I believed all of the lies that my abusers told me. I believed that some part of me was so bad that I kept attracting new abusers into my life. Also, I believed that I was so bad that even God wouldn't love and protect me or hear my cries.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Some of the things that loving myself taught me were:</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
1. Love doesn't hurt and doesn't lie.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
2. Love and fear don't live in the same house.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
3. Loving myself means liking who I am, faults and all. I don't have to be perfect to be loved. Incest happened to me. Incest is not me.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
4. Loving myself gave me the right to have needs and wants.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
5. Putting up healthy boundaries was part of loving myself. Those boundaries protected me from being abused again.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
6. I have choices. I will make mistakes and that is okay. Mistakes are just lessons to be learned from. I am not a mistake. With my choices, I began to trust myself.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
7. I am worthy just as I am. I am always enough just as I am. I can feel confident in who I am and in what I can accomplish.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
8. Loving myself gives me the ability to truly love others. Real love is unconditional.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
9. My value comes from who I am, not from what I do. I have value just because I was born into this world.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
10. Loving myself means feeling all of my feelings and reconnecting with my body and my spirituality.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Some people teach you that loving yourself is selfish. Abusers and controllers especially do not want you to love yourself. If you love yourself, you are not easily controlled or abused. Abusers don't pick children who are likely to tell their nasty secrets. So nurture and love yourself so that you can teach your children to love themselves. You often teach more by your actions than you do by your words.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Meditations to Heal Your Life, by Louise L. Hay, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, California, 1994, page 252-253:</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
"I am comfortable with my self-worth.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
I can do it.</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
The more I support myself with love and acceptance, the more worthy I feel. As I feel worthy, I feel better. In fact, I feel really good. I begin to let good things happen to me. I begin to see opportunities that I never saw before. I let life take me in new and interesting directions. I let my mind go beyond what I thought was possible. I become worthy of the totality of possibilities, and life suddenly becomes very exciting. I realize that I have a right to have the life that I want. I might have to shift this or that, scrap an old belief, let go of an old limitation, but I can do it. YES! I am worthy. I am deserving of ALL GOOD!"</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Patricia Singleton</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker</div>
<div style="font-family: '';">
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com</div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-42231645540534976452016-08-21T14:11:00.001+01:002016-08-21T14:23:00.061+01:00Childhood Sexual Abuse in British Schools. #childabuse <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Over the 5-6 years that I have been blogging I have seen, heard and read many shocking cases of abuse. What I think stuns me the most is those cases where the perpetrator is caught but the events are hushed up and the teacher is sent packing to another school. The perpetrator then starts their little "games" again and more innocent lives are destroyed. Why? To save the blushes of those in charge and to avoid a public scandal..<br />
<br />
The people who allow this to happen may as well be abusers themselves. They have no interest in protecting children and care only about themselves and their reputations.<br />
<br />
I have seen this in all forms of schools, public, private, primary and secondary.<br />
<br />
PERHAPS there is more awareness today and PERHAPS this does not happen anymore. There is no guarantee however.<br />
<br />
What breaks me heart is hearing a survivor of such abuse state something like "If I had spoken up then maybe other children would have been spared" etc. Blaming yourself for not speaking up is exactly what the perpetrator hopes for. They feel invincible because who would believe a child over an adult..<br />
<br />
I have also read cases where the powers that be have blamed the children for sexualising the adult!<br />
<br />
If you have been affected by abuse in your school please speak out. Name and shame those involved, the school and the local authority.<br />
<br />
I am very interested in hearing from anyone who suffered abuse whilst in the following schools during the late 60s through to the early 80s.<br />
<br />
Bengeo Primary School - Hertfordshire<br />
Longlands Primary School - Hertfordshire<br />
King College Choir School - Cambridge<br />
<br />
Further reading:-<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28212710">A secret history of child abuse</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/may/04/abuse-britain-private-schools-personal-memoir">Abuse in Britains boarding schools</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.ucl.ac.uk/jdibrief/crime/sexual-abuse-in-schools">Sexual abuse in schools</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddQWH9KGxHqgExincqkAdPoI-wvaJrNAV3cIzGQ99SFHsLppvpiz0PiTJUZzoNYCpmmgzS3QMEvFHleEQrfzNDWvTQ13SyMAMybuqGJYwQ5toRzEXVuiCtlx65Ldy6LEtmU1UFmyXZsYW/s1600/01f1465.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddQWH9KGxHqgExincqkAdPoI-wvaJrNAV3cIzGQ99SFHsLppvpiz0PiTJUZzoNYCpmmgzS3QMEvFHleEQrfzNDWvTQ13SyMAMybuqGJYwQ5toRzEXVuiCtlx65Ldy6LEtmU1UFmyXZsYW/s320/01f1465.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-57161474315290179572016-06-22T06:56:00.000+01:002016-06-22T06:56:05.639+01:00The Secret Garden Of My Fears #poetry #depression<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Here I am again, alone<br />
under the pensive moonlight<br />
painting the leaves with<br />
silent songs of sadness.<br />
<br />
The rainbow of my moods, crushed,<br />
to a single dreary hue.<br />
The womb of my longings, gutted,<br />
coloring the carpet of withered blooms.<br />
<br />
No more summer blue skies ...<br />
Just wintry nights ...<br />
<br />
The safety of my innocence, picked,<br />
my intellect, raped,<br />
the river of my thoughts, sullied,<br />
My heart, stilled.<br />
<br />
I walk through my secret garden,<br />
the secret garden of my fears.<br />
Alone.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6k9PP-6H2iK6K79eXixqlfRUk23R0IBZ10adJmIQg1LJC6KBHPUGiH4ulOWGBee8bWARBmRwAVPkfsJycMgI2QRzEQMGj4jy4PNysBVY6a32dldQ-2Stsrd_oD1sLmeQ0GwZy_rY3eyhY/s1600/349770534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6k9PP-6H2iK6K79eXixqlfRUk23R0IBZ10adJmIQg1LJC6KBHPUGiH4ulOWGBee8bWARBmRwAVPkfsJycMgI2QRzEQMGj4jy4PNysBVY6a32dldQ-2Stsrd_oD1sLmeQ0GwZy_rY3eyhY/s320/349770534.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-77873194742264579812016-06-21T10:46:00.000+01:002016-06-21T10:46:15.672+01:00The Voice Of Silence #childabuse #poetry<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Listen the voice of my Silence<br />
My words travel without sound<br />
I met a fallen star on my way<br />
It told me I should open up and cry<br />
I told myself I don't go there anymore<br />
<br />
The moon lights the full dew fields<br />
She's filled with beauty and so bright,<br />
but so sad and alone, all stars wish upon her<br />
But her pride keeps her higher<br />
I wanted to reach her by a jump<br />
I needed her light to find my way out<br />
<br />
When hearts sleep and souls dream<br />
She's still there in the starry sky<br />
Condemned to be beautiful, yet alone<br />
<br />
The light so warm and golden will light the way<br />
And the morning sky will sweep away the stars<br />
That happily lie on a black blanket<br />
The hearts wake up again, a day is come<br />
The flash of a blood-stained sun covers<br />
My eyes, and the way I will not find anymore<br />
<br />
And I will wander again without directions<br />
Watching faces both weeping and joyful<br />
That mix in my dead and lonely mind<br />
I will wander looking for this warm light<br />
That comforted me in the cold night<br />
But I know I will find nothing<br />
And so I will stop another time,<br />
<br />
Listen to the voice of my silence<br />
The Words do flow like a river<br />
And I will wait for the return of my Moon<br />
Bringing with her a light so bright and sweet<br />
No confusion, she will take me on my way<br />
We will dance and talk all night<br />
When Hearts and Souls dream tender<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRw3VZSS0Ib3o8qdEKr9YBixjAwKtdYD1fYfAVYOxRru3E8wmxxYaiWJmX0bW-hIR0tdvI3ktLKXqSzOSNX5HAaZ1R8b47OLn9ORpPdfhjdgPND6iUrcw9ULc8CBESx-DOYCWpmJzLsjeZ/s1600/silence.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694205735031445042" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRw3VZSS0Ib3o8qdEKr9YBixjAwKtdYD1fYfAVYOxRru3E8wmxxYaiWJmX0bW-hIR0tdvI3ktLKXqSzOSNX5HAaZ1R8b47OLn9ORpPdfhjdgPND6iUrcw9ULc8CBESx-DOYCWpmJzLsjeZ/s320/silence.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 230px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a></div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6553737404201765566.post-24990454946092889902016-06-08T13:13:00.000+01:002016-06-08T13:13:35.474+01:00Demons Of Despair <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The world is crashing down</span><br />
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-920507147566866850" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; width: 576px;">
Just a few days ago I was happy as a clown.<br />
I wandered this earth in the security of a love bubble<br />
Laughing away problems with the ease of a chuckle.<br />
<br />
The bubble has been shattered<br />
My bloated body lay battered.<br />
An army of demons demolished my happiness<br />
And doomed me to live an eternity in loneliness.<br />
<br />
My self belief has vanished<br />
My dignity has been banished.<br />
My heart is shattered, my mind in turmoil<br />
A simple thought of my reality sends the blood to boil.<br />
<br />
I have nothing left<br />
Because of this theft;<br />
My dreams are gone<br />
So I am forced to await the dawn.<br />
<br />
Hoping that with the coming of the new day,<br />
A sign will come that everything will be okay.<br />
Desperately I wait, like a dying patient for a cure,<br />
The coming of a new life, pristine and pure.<br />
<br />
I hope with this new life, There will be no strife.<br />
My heart will begin repair, Ridding itself of despair,<br />
Regaining its capacity<br />
to care.<br />
<br />
The dust in my mind will begin to settle,<br />
Blood will no longer boil like a tea kettle.<br />
Happiness will reign again like a king on his throne,<br />
All that is left of my former life is a pile of rotting bones.<br />
<br />
For a new day has dawned,<br />
A new life has spawned.<br />
Time will heal all wounds love can cause;<br />
Yet fate has its claws,<br />
<br />
Deep within me.<br />
Love is the key, to survival,<br />
Life without love is no life at all.<br />
Though love is the demon known to maul<br />
<br />
Anyone that touches it or gets too close by;<br />
Leaving the desperate for love, to suffer, and die.....</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-920507147566866850" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; width: 576px;">
I smile to myself. It feels familiar. </div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-920507147566866850" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; width: 576px;">
It's time to go. My horns need polishing.</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-920507147566866850" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; position: relative; width: 576px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Beyond Survivorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13651923245154253074noreply@blogger.com0