Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Live Your Life, Be Free.. #childabuse #survivors



We live and through doing so, we learn. 

Learnt behaviour has been playing on my mind. Behaviour learnt both in childhood as well as in adulthood. 

As victims of childhood sexual crimes we were invariably conditioned to believe the abuser/s. Our innocence was ripped from us along with trust and the chance of a normal childhood.

Many victims of childhood sexual abuse become trapped within a cycle later in their lives. Abusive relationships become the norm, whatever form the later abuse takes. The victim only knows abuse and so ends up in adult relationships within which they are again abused. This may be down to a feeling of being unworthy of a healthy, nurturing adult relationship. 

I know that this was true in my own case. I felt dirty and unworthy of happiness. I sought out damaging relationships. Subconsciously maybe, but seek them I did. 

With that most amazing of things called hindsight I can see an obvious pattern. If I wasn't in an abusive relationship I punished myself in other ways. To be honest I also punished myself whilst in the relationships. 

The conditioned "fact" that I was lower than the low permeated every aspect of my life. What a blind fool I was.

The past few years have had several highs and corresponding lows. Disclosure is both freeing but can leave one feeling vulnerable and exposed. It is worth it though. I'm not saying it's easy because it isn't. One day you will reach a point where a realisation dawns on you.

YOU are worthy.  Try reading this list out loud to yourself..

1 - I will not be disrespected
2 - If I am not a priority then walk away from me.
3 - I am worthy and deserve to be treated well.
4 - Treat me badly and watch me walk away.
5 - I can appreciate that we all have problems to deal with.
6 - Good manners cost nothing.
7 - I am stronger than I thought I was.
8 - I am worthy of respectful love.
9 - Mess with me and I'll chew your head off.
10 - I think I'm very awesome.

You may be a victim of crime, but as you have got this far you are in truth the victor! You survived. You lived. You are here today to tell your own truth. You DO NOT deserve second best. 

Stand tall, stand proud and rid yourself of those that do not support you, those that blame you, those that enjoy your pain, those that doubt you and those that treat you as a second class person. 

Embrace those that truly support you, that stand with you. Some would take a bullet for you, they are most definitely worth hanging onto at all costs.

YOU are not dirty. YOU are worthy. YOU deserve a happy and fulfilling life, no matter what age you are. 

Speak your truth. Speak your mind. Be open to others that are open and honest with you. 

There may be bumpy roads ahead, but if you hold firm to the truth and value yourself, then the bumps will be worth it. 

You're not a victim, you are a survivor, you have been victorious.  Your enjoyment of life will be the best slap in the face of those that doubted you, those that hurt you, that you could ever hope for.

Life is for living, not for grieving. 

Take chances. Believe not only in yourself but also that you are worthy of lifes treasures. 

Be happy. Break the ties that bind you!!!



Sunday, 12 April 2015

Unspoken Voices via @UnspokenOrg



Unspoken Voices exists to give a voice to those who have lost the strength, will, or ability to speak out. This non-profit organization has been created to (I) give a voice to victim/survivors through empowerment, education, and advocacy; and (II) to give a voice to each of us, encouraging us to become active bystanders. We, as individuals and community members, have the ability to say that violence is not okay. That we will not accept violence as the norm and we, you, and I are going to use our voices to intercede, support, and protect each other, our families, and our communities.

To this end, Unspoken Voices has various ways of engaging the bystander and advocating for the victim/survivor. We do this through educational trainings, personal and community advocacy, creating and/or participating in various awareness events, and other measures. We are currently creating our second video made only from still shots. These photographs, usually seen in black and white, are brought together to make films, flyers, and posters. In each photo, individual(s) have chosen to lend their "voice" by writing or choosing a pre-written quote, statistic, or personal story about sexual, partner, domestic violence, and/or any other type of personal power based violence. These pictures and videos empower victim/survivors to share their stories in a safe and comfortable way. Through this, individuals have the opportunity to feel empowered and encouraged while simultaneously creating awareness about the enormity of violence in our culture.

Empowering Survivors of Personal Power-Based Violence
Unspoken Voices supports the Green Dot Strategy and the NO MORE Campaign. Both of these modalities combine awareness and action in an easy, empowering way. Join us in saying NO MORE to violence by an active bystander and creating your own GREEN DOTS.
No one has to do everything, but everyone has to do something. 
What's your Green Dot?
Contact us to learn more about our unique videos designed to empower survivors of 
Personal Power-Based Violence.
We are also more than happy to speak with you about awareness and educational events,
as well as other training opportunities and curriculum that we can provide.
Sexual Violence affects EVERYONE...regardless of gender.

UNSPOKEN VOICES HOME PAGE

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