Friday, 25 January 2013

Online attacks and the TRUTH #childabuse #survivors

Someone has attempted to get the following comment in red posted on my, and other websites online.  

From Jayne - 

I guess Jan didn't mention that he married his Step Mother, his late Father's Wife who'd brought him up from a young teen? 

It is an interesting scenario that his younger Brother is now his Step Son. 

I have known Jan personally for over 30 years, but I have no idea why he'd be writing such lies, I'd imagine his real family are quite upset at his nonsense. 

He has always done anything to get attention, but this takes the biscuit even for him!!!! 
I ask you one question Jan - "WHY?" 

The writer, who has used "anonymous" ,  "Jayne Moore"  and Valerie as their name claims to have known me personally for over 30 years.  Had they in fact known me so well they would know that I have spoken about and written about the TRUTH regarding my marriage on several occasions.  No-one in my life has known me "personally" for more than 15 years, let alone 30. 
I will highlight some points for those who may not have read or heard my own comments. 

I did indeed marry my late father's wife. The marriage took place 18 years after his death and I had not seen or heard from his widow for 16 of those years. My sister happened to marry my late father's wife's brother, her step uncle.

The writer claims that she "brought me up" from a young teen. Again the facts are wrong. I was in my mid teens when my father remarried. His wife was not my legal guardian and in fact my legal and registered address was not my fathers. It was that of my uncle and also my grandparents. I spent a lot of time with them.  

After our marriage,  a complaint was made to the police that the marriage was illegal. After an investigation the police confirmed that our marriage was fully legal and that we had not broken any laws.  Though the complaint was apparently anonymous, when asked they suggested it might have been a close family member of mine. Considering my wife is disabled and has a serious heart condition the complaint maker must have a very twisted personality. 

I am apparently writing lies. I can only assume the writer is referring to the abuse I suffered. It is very common practise for those who are in the family or friends of the family of an abuse victim to call the victim a liar.  The abuse I endured has been corroborated by others. I know the truth and that is all that matters to me. 

Many of my blood family turned their backs on me at different points in my life. Even if they are still alive, they are dead to me now. 

Real family is that which you choose to have around you, not accidents of blood. I am happier now, with my chosen family, than I have ever been in my life. I have their sincere love and unwavering support. 

My younger half brother is indeed now my step son. He is fully aware of the circumstances and always has been. When I say younger, he is 29 and fully able to make up his own mind.

As far as doing anything to get attention goes I can think of many other, less painfull ways, to get attention other than this.
I told my sister about the abuse twice. The first time I was 16, then in my early 30's. Both times she called me a liar. I told my cousin and also an aunt in my late teens that something bad had happened to me. They believed me, as do my therapists and friends/family now. Intense therapy has help unearth many aspects of the past.  My prepubescent medical records have also proved invaluable. 

The writer of this comment suggests my "real family" may be quite upset by my "nonsense". My real family are those that have supported me, stood by me and have believed me.  


I speak the truth. 

I spent most of my life afraid of the truth, hiding from the truth. I am no longer afraid to speak out, about anything.  Neither am I afraid to do WHATEVER it takes to protect my family and myself from those that attempt to trespass against us. ISP tracking is also a very useful tool...

It is people like the writer of the comment in red that make both children and the adult survivors of abuse afraid to speak out. That is almost as damaging as the abuse itself. 

A further comment came in..

From Valerie
Hi Jan,
You seem to have a passion for words; I have read your book & here’s some words for you…
Two words “STOP LYING”
Four words “I’M NOT YOUR SISTER”
Five words “Sectioned Under Mental Health Act”
Six words “Family did attend your first wedding”
Seven words “Do you still collect rabbits feet etc”
Eight words “Marion treated you like a son at 15″
Your Readers should know the TRUTH! 


Jayne W said...

I met Jan when we were both 21. he was living with his grandmother then and had been for a long time. I went to their home and met her. She's actually dead now (sorry, there isn't a nice way of saying that), so short of a miracle, the person who did bring Jan up can't be writing posts about looking after him.

When Jan was married to his first wife I was his "best person" as he didn't have any family to do the job. That's how much of an interest his "real" family took. I guess if they weren't interested then, they won't be interested in what he is writing now either.

Jayne Whetnall

Unknown said...

As a friend who has interviewed Jan and has read his book, reviewed his book and fully supports his journey and his advocacy; please permit me to beg each and every reader - If you know any of the truth's about this type of evil cruelty against children, then you must also realize that those who know of these acts and those that commit these vicious acts would never want the truth to be spoken. They will go to great lengths to hide their identity, especially those who are the pedophiles and monsters. We will never be able to change what has happened in our past, nor chan we change the family who choose to walk away and abandon us because of our need to speak the truth. Society will only begin to change the reality of these types of brutal crimes when we decide to step up and protect the children around us. Each of us must make a promise to ourselves, that we will protect and watch for signs of mistreatment or sexual assaults. Watch for the little signs our children give us when something is happening to them, because 80% of these children are being raped & beaten almost daily by their parent. If we choose to ignore that one simple truth, then we abandon the children to live in hell and become trained in the dark family secrets; rather we should teach them the power of their voice and believe their words and their little signals for help. I too am a survivor of atrocities much like Jan's. I too was left to rot in hell as an entire community of 1500 people knew who to call when I did something wrong, but who watched and not once ever questioned as my skin litterally rotted away, my teeth became broken black fangs, and I was handed out as a party favor to the many teen boys and middle aged coal miners who attended the late night, pot filled, drunken parties at our home. Parties where my mother looked me in the eye before going into her bedroom and closing the door behind her, leaving me to do as ordered at my stepfathers command. Never turn away from the silent signals of a child in need of rescue. Always remember, there is nothing worse than being known because you come from such a hellish background and needed to speak the truth to validate your existence as a person.
In support of this author and the many other like him;
Patricia 'Trish' McKnight 01/26/2013
Author: 'My Justice'
Fndr/CEO; Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio & Abuse Recovery Website

Anonymous said...

I too am an ex-victim. The police believe me, i.e. other victims have independantly verified the story. But I've had to play down its importance to my family, because they cannot handle it. They do not want to admit that they did not protect me sufficiently. They also would prefer to think that such things don't really happen and if they do, could I please keep it secret, suffer in silence. If my accusations had been against a family member, I can only imagine the backlash. Please note, I am not accusing my parents of being evil, just fallible humans.
Your reaction by contrast it begs many questions. What are your motives? Were you complicity? Or are you another victim still in denial. (Fellow victims can be our harshest critics - still being in denial.)
If there are any aspects of Jan's story that you can help clarify, you feasibly could be of assistance. No ones memory is a 100% perfect, but that does not make us all liars. The effects of trauma can lead to confusion about chronology and some details. Ones past merges with the nightmare.
However, I doubt you are out to tell the truth. Instead you prefer to stalk as a troll, making vicious comments.
I have had to fight be sectioned while on suicide watch. I've done and gone along with many bad things because I was dysfunctional. These are the by-products of trauma.

What are you hiding?

I am not anonomous, despite my profile. I can be answered on twitter austen-james

Helen said...

Jan, how lovely for you! You have sold another copy of your book? A shame really.. I'm sure you'd have given a free copy as they claim to know you.


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