As an addict, you must first recognize that you are not "in control" and you are powerless to the addiction. And it is acknowledging this "giving up control" that enables the addict to begin their healing.
Meanwhile, as a survivor of abuse – while we are being abused we are also helpless and powerless and taking charge is empowering. Claiming power is a significant experience of healing. It enables us to reclaim what was taken from us when we were abused.
So, survivors who are also addicts have a razor thin line to walk (and just as sharp), of giving up control of addiction while regaining control from abuse.
Is it any wonder why so many fall back off the wagon, are never able to maintain a healthy mental/emotional/physical life, or even commit suicide.
We have these solutions that run simultaneous and contradictory to each other – the Ultimate Battle – This is why it's so important to get professional help and seek the support from others such as AA/NA/SNAP and other support groups.
I had to address my addiction first before I was able to even acknowledge my abuse and face it. As they say in NA, "face life on life's terms". Once I got clean from narcotics, I was finally able to reach out to Dr. Light and confront my abuser, Frankie Wiley.
Now in reclaiming my power over my abuser, the addiction is not the issue it once was – and that is because my primary reason for using drugs was to numb myself from the pain of the abuse.
Now that I have had my abuser removed from 3 jobs where he had power over kids, I have regained my power – but I KNOW that I will NEVER have power over the narcotics – they control me in such a negative way that I can never do them without extreme, awful consequences.
Just because this is what worked for me, does not mean it will be the direction a fellow survivor will have to take as a path to healing – seek the professional help that is available to you – we have therapists here and there are many others out there with other groups – if not here, just get help somewhere.
As I said – this is not a solution article – I just wanted everyone to know what many survivors have to deal with and if someone in your life is going through this – maybe it will help you better understand what they are going through – remember, love is patient and kind – and that is ultimately what we need in the battle we face – patience and kindness…and true love.
And thank you to the reader that brought this to my attention. You may never know who all will be helped with this knowledge…but you can rest assured that someone will benefit from it. Thank you!
Copyright David Pittman @Together_WeHeal
Together We Heal