The Sound Of Goodbye

From my first book - 

Beyond Survivor – Rising from the Ashes of Childhood Sexual Abuse

You'll just never know

So many emotions I choose not to show..

Just because my eyes don't cry

Doesn't mean my heart doesn't weep.

Just because I appear strong,

Doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

I'm going to smile...and make you think I'm happy

I'm going to laugh...so you don't see me cry...

Even if it kills me...I'm going to smile.

Sometimes the pain's too strong to bare...

Life gets so hard you just don't care.

You feel so alone you just sit and cry...

Every second you wish you could die.

Then you start thinking who would care

If one day they woke up and

You were no longer there..

I've been weak and I've been strong.

I've been through the fire

I've been through the storm.

Try to do right and I know I do wrong.

Just be happy for me when my life is gone.

With no more hurt and no more tears,

There will be no more pain and no more fears.

No more people in my face that are not sincere.

So smile for me when I'm no longer here.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I don't know what I want to see.

My world use to be worth living for,

Now it's hard enough just to be me

I'm not afraid of the gun in my hand,

I'm not afraid of dying,

I'm just afraid of the pain it will bring,

Not to me, but to you...

The gun is shaking in my hands

All I hear is the sound...

Of goodbye....