Victim | Survivor | Thriver |
Doesn’t deserve nice things or trying for the “good life.” | Struggling for reasons & chance to heal | Gratitude for everything in life. |
Low self esteem/shame/unworthy | Sees self as wounded & healing | Sees self as an overflowing miracle |
Hyper vigilant | Using tools to learn to relax | Gratitude for new life |
Alone | Seeking help | Oneness |
Feels Selfish | Deserves to seek help | Proud of Healthy Self caring |
Damaged | Naming what happened | Was wounded & now healing |
Confusion & numbness | Learning to grieve, grieving past ungrieved trauma | Grieving at current losses |
Overwhelmed by past | Naming & grieving what happened | Living in the present |
Hopeless | Hopeful | Faith in self & life |
Uses outer world to hide from self | Stays with emotional pain | Understands that emotional pain will pass & brings new insights |
Hides their story | Not afraid to tell their story to safe people. | Beyond telling their story, but always aware they have created their own healing with HP |
Believes everyone else is better, stronger, less damaged | Comes out of hiding to hear others & have compassion for them & eventually self | Lives with an open heart for self & others |
Often wounded by unsafe others | Learning how to protect self by share, check, share | Protects self from unsafe others |
Places own needs last | Learning healthy needs (See Healing the Child Within & Gift to Myself) | Places self first realizing that is the only way to function & eventually help others |
Creates one drama after another | See patterns | Creates peace |
Believes suffering is the human condition | Feeling some relief, knows they need to continue in recovery | Finds joy in peace |
Serious all the time | Beginning to laugh | Seeing the humor in life |
Uses inappropriate humor, including teasing | Feels associated painful feelings instead | Uses healthy humor |
Uncomfortable, numb or angry around toxic people | Increasing awareness of pain & dynamics | Healthy boundaries around toxic people, incl. relatives |
Lives in the past | Aware of patterns | Lives in the Now |
Angry at religion | Understanding the difference between religion & personal spirituality | Enjoys personal relationship with the God of their understanding |
Suspicious of therapists– projects | Sees therapist as guide during projections | Sees reality as their projection & owns it. |
Needs people & chemicals to believe they are all right | Glimpses of self-acceptance & fun without others | Feels authentic & connected, Whole |
“Depression” | Movement of feelings | Aliveness |
I am a MALE survivor of CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. This is my place to offload, share and let go. This blog also contains articles from other sources and guest posts. Have a seat, kick off your shoes and join me. Leave your prejudices at the door, open your mind and learn. Please leave a comment, I appreciate feedback. WARNING some of the contents of this blog might cause triggering. Caution.... This blog may contain nuts. All posts ©
Wednesday 10 December 2014
From Victim to Survivor to Thriver
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1 comment:
Informative article, just what I needed.
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