Thursday 3 May 2012


I have explained much about my family over the last year, maybe too much, maybe not enough.

My Mum and Dad are both Welsh. Dad's family came from North Devon but Mum's were Welsh "to the bone"..

I want to state a few facts, just for the record, for my sake and to remove any possible confusion. Why am I doing this now? Simply because my older half brother got in touch with me a couple of days ago and said some words that actually reduced me to tears. Nice tears, warm safe tears. He told me he was proud of me.

We share the same biological father, different mothers. Our father left his mother for my mother whilst he was still unborn I believe. He has two older sisters, one of whom I have had contact with. As he said "we are a broken family".

None of the children are to blame for this. My father had three children from his first marriage, two (my full sister and myself) from his second, and my younger half brother from his third. My father caused a great deal of pain in his life, to his first wife and their children in particular. He loved me I believe, though he was not good at showing it. He was not close to his own brothers either.

The fact that I have positive connections with some of my siblings brings great security and peace.

I am the only sibling that has been abused. I cannot speak for my full sister, though I have suspicions. We do not speak to each other. I like it that way.

The grandfather that abused me was my mothers father. His brother also abused me.

My older half brother said a lot more. One thing in particular that I want to share is the following.

"Sometimes though, we have no option but to emotionally hurt people with the truth, including those close to us, because it can bring with it a new perspective perhaps more valuable – you learn who truly loves you, who are willing to understand you, who will not doubt you, and those who will stand by you no matter what."

Those words are so very true, to anyone who has suffered pain, abuse or hardships.

Thanks "Big Brother". I know you will read this and I hope you realise that your connection really means the world to me.


CherryPie said...

I think your older brother is very wise.

Brutal truths often leads to, different perspectives, healing and less pain or confusion.

Johndwmacdonald said...

Very clear and moving and true as usual!

Zephyrr Sky said...

I'm glad you reposted the link on twitter. Boy is your brother right. I am working or trying to work on a relationship with my half sister. It's very true what he said. I didn't know it at the time, but even at the age 12 I was learning who would listen. Who cared. Who would help. That day changed a lot in me I'm sure. Thank you for your blog. You help me a lot.


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