Working With Your Inner Child - The Little Boy In Me

 

• Discovering Your Inner Child

Everyone has a inner child but for some they are more apparent than others, this is because when someone has gone through trauma at a young age, the child can't cope with what is happening so he/she goes somewhere deep inside and hides away for their own protection whilst another part of you takes over from that child. As you get older and go through more and more bad experiences the body breaks into more parts, these parts of you are called the inner child.

The part that doesn't want to grow up and likes to play still and has immature emotions and ways, this is your inner child. As an adult you become more aware of your inner child because part of you has grown up with age but that little you who had to hide deep inside all those years ago will one day want to come out when they feel safe to do so,

This can sound quite an experience to go through but it can be an enjoyable part of the healing journey and also fun, you can discover your inner child in many ways as detailed under Working with your inner child.

Take some time to get to know your inner child and learn to comfort them and help them to grow up with you; it's the right path for inner healing.

Getting To Know Your Inner Child 

This part can be fun and rewarding but also very sad and difficult as you get to know your inner child you will understand gradually things that happened to you as a child, the good and unfortunately the bad too.

Just keep reminding the little you that you are safe now and your adult you will look after little you.

As you get to know your little one you can learn to love yourself and you will soon realise that the abuse that happened to you was in fact not your fault.

As you start to remember or re-visit the past make sure you are with someone who can support you and that you feel safe, try and not be alone as this can lead to damaging effects on you, you have all ready been hurt enough and you don't need any more pain to have to experience.

Take your time and enjoy getting to know the little you and eventually when you have got to know her/him you can begin to heal the damaged past years.

Healing Your Inner Child

Healing your inner child takes a lot of time and needs to be done with great care, it can also be fun, you have to remember that this inner child has been very hurt and traumatized but he/she is a part of you.... a big part of you that holds the key to those parts of your life that you thought were missing.

It is possible to heal the inner child with the right support and you have to want to heal him/her and get to know them, it won’t be easy and needs to be taken at your own pace.

To heal the inner child you will have to visit parts of your past that you might not want to but all the time reassuring the little you that they are safe now and that you as an adult will protect them.

There are lots of resources and books etc for self help on healing the inner child or there is therapy. Working with a therapist you can write to your inner child and learn to let him/her have a voice so that you can understand your little you so that healing is possible.

Take time getting to know your inner child and accept that you have one so that you can work together. Remember your little one has been locked away for years after going through a lot of pain.

He/she needs to be loved and to feel safe and cared for and accepted so they can grow up with you 

Working With Your Inner Child

Once you have discovered your Inner child you can learn to relate to him/her and then start to work with them,

It is best to work with a therapist who understands the inner child and there are some books you can work through too.

Things you can do yourself?

You can write letters to your inner child and get him/her to reply, this way you can get to know one another.
You can let your inner child play... play dough is fun you can also get rid of a lot of stress fondling with play dough, try and remember what your favourite games were as a child and play some . This can be fun and healing.
If you ever feel your inner child is insecure and lonely you could try wrapping yourself up in a comfy blanket and rocking yourself telling your little one inside its ok.

The Little Boy In Me.

NOW ON AMAZON - The Times and Trials of Hettie Morgan - A Very Cunning Woman Indeed!

Half price Kindle eBook on Amazon UK from September 2nd for for FIVE days. Other countries to follow.

The Times and Trials of Hettie Morgan

Once a common term across the British Isles, a cunning woman - or swynwraig in Welsh, was a healer, herbalist, and keeper of folk wisdom. Feared by some, sought out by many, she stood at the edge of village life, carrying traditional knowledge through woodlands and whispers, between intuition and inheritance, survival and story.

From the misty hills of Gwernogle, West Wales to the candlelit ballrooms of Gloucester, Hettie Morgan walked a path shaped by grace, craft, quiet defiance, and, in her own quiet way, radical love. Inspired by the diaries, oral traditions, and family history of **Hettie Elizabeth Howells ** - cousin to the renowned Welsh poet Dylan Thomas, this partially fictionalised account brings to life a woman whose story has never before been told. Hettie was also mentioned, alongside a photograph of her with her husband and daughter Valerie, in Dylan Remembered, Volume Two: 1935–1953 by David N Thomas, (Seren Books). A daughter of several generations of wise women, Hettie brewed tinctures, crafted herbal remedies, and lived the old ways without fanfare. Taught by her mother in hedgerows and kitchens, she became a healer and a fierce protector of her kin, all while the world around her changed in ways both brutal and beautiful. In a time and place where same-sex love was hidden behind closed curtains, Hettie forged bonds that defied convention. Her story is one of chosen family, deep intimacy, and enduring tenderness in the face of silence. The Times and Trials of Hettie Morgan is a lyrical, historical novel rooted in memory, celebrating resilience, identity, loss, and the quiet strength of women who followed their own truth. A tale for anyone who believes that courage can be quiet, love can take many forms, and legacy lives not in monuments, but in memory.

Silence, Rebellion, Legacy

 

Each morning I wake in a body that feels older than its years. My joints are swollen, my eyes and mouth dry, my skin aching with the fire of vasculitis and the heat of cellulitis. Layered over it all are the familiar companions of C-PTSD, depression, and chronic pain. Some days even standing upright feels like a rebellion.

And yet, I am grateful. I give thanks for another proper diagnosis after so many years of guessing and disbelief. Too many times I have been misdiagnosed, too many times dismissed when I tried to describe my symptoms. To finally be seen and heard by a doctor is itself a kind of mercy.

I hold close the day itself, for the chance to walk into it, however faltering. I give thanks for the small mercies: a flower opening in the garden, the harvest gathered from earth, the warmth of tea in my hands.

I remember another rebellion. In 2012, I wrote my first book. That book was not born from ease or leisure but from fury - from years of being silenced, dismissed, ignored. It was my way of speaking when silence had nearly crushed me. Before that, there had been my blog, the first place where words felt safe to land.

Then life and pain returned with their heavy hand, and silence came again. Years where words slowed to a trickle, where I feared I might lose my voice forever. Much of what I endured from 2015 onwards I have already spoken of in Phoenix Warriors. In that book I shared not only the weight of those years but also the small, steady techniques I used to survive each day, week, and year. Simple practices like keeping a journal beside my bed to empty my mind before sleep, stepping into the garden to breathe among herbs even when I could barely stand, or breaking time into tiny tasks that could be done without shame or hurry. These small acts were my lifelines, threads that held me when everything else seemed to unravel.

But now, I write more than ever. Books, poems, lyrics, music. Words spill out like a river breaking through stone. I write not only for today but for tomorrow, not only for myself but for those who may one day wonder who I was. I write to leave a trace, a cairn of words on the hillside of memory.

Silence did not have the last word. Rebellion gave me breath again. And legacy - that is what I build each day, word by word, even in the midst of pain.

I do not know what the future holds. There is less uncertainty now than there once was, yet still I wait on new test results, this time for an abdominal mass. It could be anything, and the waiting is its own trial. I only want to know. Whatever the answer, I remind myself that I have faced much worse and I am still here. That knowledge steadies me, a quiet strength beneath the fear. And still, even in the waiting, I find gratitude - for the garden, for words, for the chance to wake each day and call it mine. Hope remains a companion, soft but steady, reminding me that whatever comes, I will meet it with the same resilience that has carried me this far.

Some might question why I release music alongside words. The truth is simple: the melodies and the words are mine, even if the voice is not. There are those who grow angry about the use of computers and AI to shape song, but I am not trying to copy anyone. Nobody else has lived my life, endured what I endured, or carried these stories in their bones. I survived a great deal. Words were always my first escape, then music. Nobody but me could write my experiences into song or poetry, and no machine can invent that. It comes from me, and only me.

There are many ways I bring these words and thoughts into being, especially on days when pain makes writing by hand impossible. I use voice memos, speech-to-text tools, and even modern assistants like Alexa etc to capture fragments before they fade. Sometimes an image sparks a phrase, sometimes a melody catches hold of a memory. Whatever the method, each tool helps ease the passage of thought into words, into music, into presence. Sometimes I record lines while lying in bed in the dark, whispering them into my phone before sleep. Other times I hum a tune into a microphone so I will not forget it by morning. These fragments become seeds, gathered and shaped later when my hands and strength allow.

I once played on a music keyboard too, but my joints no longer let me. Still, the memory of those keys under my fingers reminds me that melody will always find another path, whether through voice, technology, or the quiet hum of persistence.

This is my way of leaving a legacy, in every form I can: on the page, in the garden, in melody. However it is carried into the world, it is still my voice, my truth, my survival written into sound and story.

May these words, and the life they carry, remind you that survival can still flower into song.

What Constitutes Child Sexual Abuse? #StopChildAbuse

There are many misconceptions as to what constitutes child sexual abuse (CSA). Is it abusive to inappropriately watch a child undress? How about to physically examine a child for no clear reason? Or, to show them pornography? Does touch have to be involved in order for it to constitute sexual abuse? Some people will read these questions and find it difficult to see how anyone could not see all of them as sexually abusive. However, the lack of understanding over what constitutes CSA is far too prevalent and not everyone is clear on this topic.

To allay any doubts:

 All sexual activity between an adult and a child is sexual abuse.

 Sexual touching between children can also be sexual abuse, when there is a significant age difference (usually 3 or more years) between the children, or if the children are very different developmentally or size-wise.

 Sexual abuse does not have to involve penetration, force, pain, or even touching.

 If an adult engages in any sexual behaviour (looking, showing, or touching) with a child to meet their own interest or sexual needs, it is sexual abuse.

CSA INCLUDES SEXUALLY-MOTIVATED CONTACT AND NON-CONTACT BEHAVIOURS.

Physical contact that constitutes CSA includes:

• Making a child touch someone else's genitals

• Touching a child's genitals for sexual purposes

• Making a child play sexual games

• Penetrating via putting an object body parts inside the child for sexual purposes, including the vagina, mouth and anus.

• Physically examining a child for sexual gratification.

• Engaging a child in prostitution.

Non-contact behaviours that constitute CSA include:

• Sexualised genital exposure from an adult to a child

• Making a child perform sexual poses

• Photographing a child naked or in sexual poses

• Showing a child pornography

• Making a child watch sexual acts

• Making a child listen to sexual acts

• Inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom

• Downloading indecent, sexual images of children on the Internet

• Witnessing others being sexually abused


What to do if you suspect CSA:

If you think you were a victim of CSA, you were. It can be all too easy to dismiss an event we were uncomfortable with because it didn’t involve touch or it was carried out by someone we knew. If you feel that you were subjected to CSA, trust your own judgment – you wouldn’t be suspecting it without good reason.

If you are someone who has any suspicions at all that a child you know is being sexually abused, do not wait for ‘proof’ – report it immediately to the local police or social services.There are ways online where you can report. 

New single "The Little Boy In Me"

The Little Boy In Me by Beyond Survivor - DistroKid

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