A heaviness weighs upon me, crushing my spirit with an uncaring ease
This rollercoaster no fairground ride, more a living hell, why do I struggle
A day of feeling unworthy, a day where the silver lining is soiled and peeling
Why should I bother when for each step forward I am kicked back three.
To reach this point has been no easy task, the decision to go on based more
On the needs of others, not my own. I feel unable to do this just for me.
Not yet, not now. Later. Those damn tears threaten to break free, but
They remain trapped in a time now long past, yet as fresh as yesterday.
Trying do do right, I appear to be doing opposite. This cloud of despair renewed
Though I thought it dissipating. No. To truely be free of my demons might be
one step that I am not able to make. Not yet, one day, perhaps. We'll see.
A heaviness weighs upon me, I have not the strength to resist.
Aug 19 2011