When the salty air
and the moist beach breeze
and the moonlight
all dripped through
the cracked window
and the hushing of the fan
whispered to me
that everything really was
just fine...
told me that
there was no other place
I wanted to be.
Dark dreams
still upon me,
I felt a calm
so thorough
and a peace
so profound
Outside the night air
had a chill, but
It's touched
warmed me
I stepped into
The silvery sea
I embraced
Death.
I am a MALE survivor of CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. This is my place to offload, share and let go. This blog also contains articles from other sources and guest posts. Have a seat, kick off your shoes and join me. Leave your prejudices at the door, open your mind and learn. Please leave a comment, I appreciate feedback. WARNING some of the contents of this blog might cause triggering. Caution.... This blog may contain nuts. All posts ©
Showing posts with label Replay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Replay. Show all posts
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
Monday, 5 September 2011
Catch Me, Quietly
Another older poem revisited.
In the dark,
I reached, I fell
I wanted you, grasped the air
You were not there
Your eyes
Black in black night
Not wavering there
I fell
Piercing down into dark
Screaming fear into night
Catch me
Catch my hurt
Catch me quietly
And if I laugh
Steal not my happiness
If I cry
Don't dry my tears
Just let me exist
Catch me.
The safety of your arms.
Enough.
In the dark,
I reached, I fell
I wanted you, grasped the air
You were not there
Your eyes
Black in black night
Not wavering there
I fell
Piercing down into dark
Screaming fear into night
Catch me
Catch my hurt
Catch me quietly
And if I laugh
Steal not my happiness
If I cry
Don't dry my tears
Just let me exist
Catch me.
The safety of your arms.
Enough.
Sunday, 4 September 2011
Take away the masks, let me keep the tears
Another oldie revisited.
Clear like water the tears flow into a silver flask,
tarnished by the indiference of the masses.
Tarnished by seeking to be more,
gaining no more than the idolaritry of the mindless,
and losing no less than the soul.
A silver flask among other silver flasks abandoned.
Lost in a sea without value,
and seen as the value of the lost.
Warming my bed with snow and frost...
The darkness that surrounds me kills.
Living for love, and kindness,
and that view of children playing on grassy hills...
Dying for compassion, for attention,
for a voice to hear my screams, which to most
seem to exist in that other dimmension
which some seem to name the void.
Rescue me from this place, this prison, this life.
This play for the gods in the stage of man,
and me playing the grain of sand on the beach,
waiting to be blessed by the touch of a wave of hope.
Give me peace. Give me justice.
Give me a pair of eyes to be lost in, a pair of legs to be wrapped in.
Give me a hint to the life I never had, and seem unable to obtain.
Take away the masks for the play, and the tarnish.
Let me keep the tears, but give me the sparkle of a smile.
Replace the frost with that landscape of a pair of eyes.
Open the doors to that lost dimmension and let me be heard.
Take away the pain. Take away the sorrow.
For today is yesterday is tomorrow...
.. and life just seems to want to stay the same.
Clear like water the tears flow into a silver flask,
tarnished by the indiference of the masses.
Tarnished by seeking to be more,
gaining no more than the idolaritry of the mindless,
and losing no less than the soul.
A silver flask among other silver flasks abandoned.
Lost in a sea without value,
and seen as the value of the lost.
Warming my bed with snow and frost...
The darkness that surrounds me kills.
Living for love, and kindness,
and that view of children playing on grassy hills...
Dying for compassion, for attention,
for a voice to hear my screams, which to most
seem to exist in that other dimmension
which some seem to name the void.
Rescue me from this place, this prison, this life.
This play for the gods in the stage of man,
and me playing the grain of sand on the beach,
waiting to be blessed by the touch of a wave of hope.
Give me peace. Give me justice.
Give me a pair of eyes to be lost in, a pair of legs to be wrapped in.
Give me a hint to the life I never had, and seem unable to obtain.
Take away the masks for the play, and the tarnish.
Let me keep the tears, but give me the sparkle of a smile.
Replace the frost with that landscape of a pair of eyes.
Open the doors to that lost dimmension and let me be heard.
Take away the pain. Take away the sorrow.
For today is yesterday is tomorrow...
.. and life just seems to want to stay the same.
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