Stop It Now! @StopItNowWales #ChildAbuse Prevention

What we believe

Stop it Now! believes and acts on the principle that all adults are responsible for protecting the most vulnerable in society. Children can be protected from sexual abuse if adults are aware of how abusers operate, including those who abuse via the Internet. Adults also need to feel confident about what to do if they are worried that abuse might be occurring.

In recent times we have come to understand that children are more likely to be sexually abused by people they know. These are not the ‘monsters’ often portrayed by the media, but familiar and trusted adults, which can make disclosure far more difficult. For some children, whilst they want the abuse to stop, they also want the abuser to get help. All children must be able to tell, to be heard and be protected.

For the families of abusers or those close to them, understanding what has happened and dealing with the consequences of a loved one’s actions is a lengthy and difficult process. Some abusers and potential abusers feel guilty and distressed about their thoughts and actions, but struggle to manage their behaviour.

For these reasons it is critical that everyone affected by child sexual abuse has a place, first, to talk about it. For abusers, this includes learning how to address and manage their behaviour. For families and friends, it includes accessing information and advice about recognising and managing risk.

The aim of the Stop it Now! UK and Ireland campaign, including the Helpline, is to equip adults to protect children from sexual abuse. If as a society we share this aim, we must begin to talk about the issues. With the right tools, everyone can make a real difference to the safety of children.

Our Vision

Our vision is of a society where all adults engage in respectful, caring and protective relationships with children and young people; where children and young people grow up free from sexual abuse or exploitation.

Our Mission

To prevent child sexual abuse by engaging with and supporting adults, families and communities and through research and speaking out. This includes engaging with adults with concerning sexual thoughts or behaviour, and with their families and friends, to prompt positive, protective actions and to promote lives of responsibility and integrity. 

More information HERE 

 All content copyright Stop It Now! 

Ayden's Law - @Aydenslaw Beat Bullying!

WHAT IS AYDEN’S LAW?

On 14 March 2013, 14 year old Ayden Olson took his own life. 

He'd been bullied to death. Tragically, Ayden's name is only the latest to be added to a growing list. But while the victims themselves may have found peace, their families are left behind, scarred forever by the agony of losing a child.

Ayden's Law is a campaign on behalf of all those young people, their families and any child or young person being bullied today.

BeatBullying, The Sun, and families of children like Ayden are calling on the Prime Minister to take action. We want to call a summit with him and relevant ministers to discuss how we can prevent any more tragedies — and the creation of Ayden's Law, a new children's anti-bullying bill designed to stop bullying in our society once and for all.

Read our letter to the Prime Minister.

For more on Ayden's Law click HERE 

SHY KEENAN

“Our wonderful 14 year-old son Ayden died on the 14th of March 2013 - his spirit defeated, he was bullied to death at school and driven... out of pain and despair... to take his own life.

“We miss him so much. Our hearts just ache for him and as we try to adjust to a life without him, we have committed to carrying his dreams of bully free schools ahead with Ayden's Law.”

Speaking Up And Speaking Out via @Hidden_Beth #endbullying

You know when you feel like the whole World is against you, when you walk down a street you feel that everyone’s eyes are on you, and that nobody can understand. That’s me, every single day.

The thing is though.. I’m not being bullied anymore, I’m just living with the affects of what happened to me. I wouldn’t change my past for absolutely anything though, I am such a different person, I like the way I treat people, I love what I am doing with my blog etc, I love how I have such big ideas regarding bullying and what more I can do, I have never been so motivated before.

The only thing keeping me here is my motivation to help others.

Every single day I go through the same thoughts and feelings, that I don’t want to live anymore, but I remind myself of my blog, and my wish to one day start my own charity.
 

Every single day, I just think, you know what.. what’s the point. But then I just think, these people, have made me feel like this, these people, their comments and their actions have made me feel so low that I’d rather be dead.
 

I try so hard to block the thoughts out, but its so hard with no support.
 

Some days my mental health is so bad that I just want to take myself to hospital because I feel so unsafe and scared. I just want to give up, but I know I can’t, I have things to do, and things to achieve, people to help etc.

I see the people who bullied me, and I just laugh to myself, that they’re living their lives normally not knowing what so ever what they put me through. And sometimes I wonder, if I did tell them.. what would their reaction be? 

Do you know what annoys me, how people who have been bullied don’t get the support they really need. I had support when I was under 18, but now, the mental health team keep turning me down for support.
 

I was receiving therapy once a week between 15-18, and I was so used to having that support, and it was so helpful, and then as soon as I turned 18 they started talking to me about leaving, and then when I left, I was offered no support at all, so it went from support once a week, talking to someone, to absolutely nothing.
 

I have support from my GP, she put me on the medication, she talks to me about once every 2 weeks, she’s been amazing through all of this, she’s never given up on me, even when I told her that she can’t help me, and wanted to walk out, she carried on.

My motivation to start my own charity is so big! And I just wish I knew how to go about it, I’ve been emailing round, but I can’t seem to find any answers. 

So if anyone has any ideas or advice please let me know! J

I hope that you will support me on my journey to get my voice heard. Your support means absolutely everything!

Please follow me on twitter @Hidden_Beth
Like my facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/UnderneathMyMask
Email me: missbeth94@hotmail.co.uk

Beat Bullying - Ayden’s Law - Help us make a difference! #AydensLaw @AydensLaw

Ayden’s Law

 What is Ayden’s Law? 

On 14 March 2013, 14 year old Ayden Olson took his own life. He’d been bullied to death. Tragically, Ayden’s name is only the latest to be added to a growing list. But while the victims themselves may have found peace, their families are left behind, scarred forever by the agony of losing a child.

Ayden’s Law is a campaign on behalf of all those young people, their families and any child or young person being bullied today.

BeatBullying, The Sun, and families of children like Ayden are calling on the Prime Minister to take action. We want to call a summit with him and relevant ministers to discuss how we can prevent any more tragedies — and the creation of Ayden’s Law, a new children’s anti-bullying bill designed to stop bullying in our society once and for all.

Our letter to the PM

Dear Prime Minister,

You will know that when you become a parent the safety and happiness of your child becomes your number one priority. What is hopefully less familiar is the agony of being unable to help your child in the face of remorseless bullying.

Our families have been irreversibly altered through the loss of a child, whose life was destroyed by bullying. The pain of knowing your child felt so helpless and alone that they saw suicide as their only option is unbearable.

On 17 March, justice campaigner and devoted mother Shy Keenan bravely spoke out in an interview with The Sun about the devastating grief she and her family are experiencing following the death of her son, Ayden Olson. Fourteen year old Ayden died after taking an overdose following a prolonged period of vicious bullying at the hands of a group of pupils at his school.

Despite being aware of the torment Ayden was being subjected to, the school does not appear to have acted in a way that made him feel like he was well supported or being listened to. Ultimately he was left in a position where he felt he had no alternative but to take his own life, just days after he had given Shy a loving Mother’s Day Card.

Nothing can change what has happened to Shy and all our families but we hope we can stop more families suffering in the same way. We are urging you to meet with us in a summit to discuss how such tragedies can be prevented through a new Children’s Anti Bullying Bill. The Bill would introduce a law to protect children who become victims of cruel and relentless bullying.

The campaign for Ayden’s Law marks a watershed moment in the anti bullying movement in this country. AYDEN’S LAW DEMANDS:

1. justice for victims - by introducing for the first time into criminal law a new summary offence of bullying and intimidation which would prohibit behaviour that causes physical and mental harm to another child, teacher, professional or member of the public
2. community protection - by providing compulsory training for social workers so that they have the skill and confidence to:
   • provide much needed support to victims and their families
   • work with perpetrators to address their bullying behaviour
   • support their local schools and community in tackling bullying
3. family intervention - through a compulsory support programme aimed at parents that have a child that persistently bullies and intimidates others in school and the wider community
4. Government leadership - a statutory requirement for Government to publish ‘A Children and Young People’s Annual Anti Bullying Strategy for the UK’ and for the Prime Minister to report progress to Parliament annually
   The strategy to include:
   • clear roles and responsibilities for Government, local Government, communities, schools and internet providers
   • fully costed measures that enable schools, local authorities and the Voluntary and Community Sector to take forward the strategy
   • indicators to measure improvement

42% of secondary school children in this country have experienced some form of bullying. It may start offline but is often then followed in the online environment, leaving them with no escape. Whilst some of these children will recover from their experience, others, like Ayden, won’t. For our families and the brothers and sisters of those we’ve lost, nothing can be the same again.

On behalf of all children who have experienced bullying, and their families, we are calling on you and your Government to take action to help prevent more people suffering in this way. Together we can stop bullying in our society. Please give us your support and meet with us to discuss how we make bullying unacceptable, once and for all.

Yours sincerely,

Shy Keenan, mother of Ayden (14) Peter and Denise Dimmick, parents of Gemma (15) Michelle Maddox and Susan Morriss, mother and grandmother of Joshua (15) Kelly Dugmore and Paul Jones, parents of Aaron (9) Paul and Caroline Vodden, parents of Ben Vodden (11) Steve and Marie Kirkham, mother of Hannah (18) Robert and Tracy Mullaney, parents of Tom Mullaney (15) Andrew MacBryde, father of Natasha (15) Sandra Thompson, mother of Thomas (11) Hayley Heffernan, family of Megan Gillan(15)

co signed by: Emma-Jane Cross, CEO and Founder of BeatBullying Victoria Newton, Editor of The Sun on Sunday Sara Payne, Sun Justice campaigner

READ MORE HERE 

Stopping Online Harassment and Bullying

The internet is a wonderful tool. Unfortunately it can be used for bad as well as for good. The information below is from Respect Me and the laws apply equally to adults as they do to children.    

When this technology is abused, or used to harass or threaten others, there may be legal consequences.  There are  four UK statute laws and one Scottish common law that are relevant to the use of IT in relation to bullying.  These are:

• The Protection from Harassment Act 1997
• The Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994
• The Malicious Communications Act 1998
• The Communications Act 2003
• Breach of the Peace (common law)

How these Acts can be related to bullying, and specifically to cyberbullying, is outlined below. If the bullying is based on sexual, racial or religious grounds, prosecution could be sought through anti-discriminatory laws.Protection from Harassment Act 1997This Act was passed following concerns that stalking was not dealt with effectively under the existing legislation.  The Act does not refer solely to stalking but also covers harassment in a wider sense.  The Act states that it is unlawful to cause harassment, alarm or distress by a course of conduct and states that ‘A person must not pursue a course of conduct, which:

• amounts to harassment of another
• he knows, or ought to know, amounts to harassment of the other.’

There is some anecdotal evidence that the police are more comfortable in bringing forward this law when dealing with issues of cyberbullying. The police have successfully used the Protection from Harassment Act to prosecute for the sending of offensive e-mails through the internet.  Such messages will also constitute an offence under the Malicious Communications Act.
Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994This Act defines a criminal offence of intentional harassment, which covers all forms, including sexual harassment.  A person is guilty of an offence if, with intent to cause a person harassment, alarm or distress, he/she

• uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour or disorderly behaviour; or
• displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting, thereby causing that or another person harassment, alarm or distress.

Malicious Communications Act 1998/Telecommunications Act 1984Under this Act it is an offence to send an indecent, offensive or threatening letter, electronic communication or other article to another person.  Under section 43 of the Telecommunications Act 1984 it is a similar offence to send a telephone message which is indecent, offensive or threatening.Both these offences are punishable with up to six months imprisonment and/or a fine.The Malicious Communications offences are wider ranging, but under the Telecommunications offences, it is likely that the Police will use the former Act to bring a charge.
The Communications Act 2003The Communications Act 2003 is by far the most recent Act to be passed.  Section 127 states that a person is guilty of an offence if he/she

• sends by means of a public electronic communications network a message or other matter that is grossly offensive or of an indecent, obscene or menacing character; or
• causes any such message or matter to be so
• A person is guilty of an offence if, for the purpose of causing annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety to another by means of a public electronic communications network, a message that he/she knows to be false,
• causes such a message to be sent; or
• persistently makes use of a public electronic communications network

Breach of the PeaceBreach of the Peace is Scottish common law.  At present behaviour inScotland which might be described as harassment or stalking is usually prosecuted as a breach of the peace. This common law offence covers all behaviour (including single incidents) which causes, or is likely to cause:

• Fear, alarm, upset or annoyance
• When one or more persons conduct themselves in a riotous, or disorderly manner, anywhere, which alarms, annoys or disturbs other people
• The offence can take place anywhere (a house, an office, a school or a public street)
• The element of disturbance would be the most relevant to Cyberbullying as the behaviour does not have to be noisy but still of a nature that would cause concern to other people – harassment or stalking and bullying

The Courts recognise that breach of the peace can be serious and a life sentence is theoretically possible.  A sentence of eight years was recently imposed for the crime of Breach of the Peace.
It proves difficult to source evidence of charges being successfully brought against people who use new technology to bully.It is worth noting that the age of criminal responsibility in Scotland is twelve.  All organisations, including schools are covered by the laws stated above.  If an offence takes place in school it is still an offence.

More information can be found online. 

Let Me Forget via @Hidden_Beth #Advocate #AntiBullying

 Please support my good friend Beth who is an inspiration to me in many ways. She has been a guest on my blog in the past "Bullying Must Stop" 

You think you know the affects of bullying?

I wish I could just forget everything that has happened to me, I struggle so much because of what happened, the problems i have started because of the bullying.

My mental health is not great at the moment, sometimes i’ll cry for no reason, and i’m on edge most of the time, i struggle with relationships, i find it hard to make new friends, i can’t go a day without thinking of suicide, i’ve been self harming for a very long time.

The way i see myself is horrible, i can hardly look in a mirror, i just want to cry when i see myself, i feel so fat and ugly because that’s what i’ve been told i am. I feel self concious all of the time, i feel people are always looking at me, and i think they’re looking at me because i’m so ugly and fat. I think that nobody can love me because of all the problems i have and because of the way i look. 

I have trust issues, it takes me a while to build up my trust and then it can be broken down so quickly by little things because the littlest things affect me so much.

”I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again”

I’d love to be able to tell my story, i told my story to the Welsh Government and i’d love to be able to do more things like that.

 
Please help me get my voice heard.

Follow on Twitter @Hidden_Beth

Blog  http://underneathmymask.wordpress.com