Friday 8 May 2015

Common feelings for sexually violated men via @SurvivorsUK

Mission of SurvivorsUK
SurvivorsUK helps men who have been sexually violated and raises awareness of their needs
Note:  Sexual violation includes both childhood sexual abuse and adult sexual assault/rape

SurvivorsUK define male sexual violation as any unwanted or non-consensual sexual act performed against a man or boy at any time in his life.

Emotional Shock
I feel numb. How can I be so calm? Why can’t I cry?
Disbelief and/or Denial
Did it really happen? Why me? Maybe I just imagined it. It’s not really important.
What will people think? I can’t tell my family or friends.
I feel completely filthy, disgusting, like there’s something wrong with me. I can’t get clean.
I feel as if it’s my fault, or I should’ve been able to stop it. If only I had…
How am I going to get through the day? I’m so tired! I feel so hopeless. What’s the point of going on?
Will I ever feel in control again?
I don’t even know what day it is, or where I’m supposed to be. I keep forgetting things.
I’m reliving what happened! I keep seeing, hearing and smelling things that bring it right back and I feel like it’s happening all over again.
I’m scared of everything. What if I have an STI or AIDS? I can’t sleep because I’ll have nightmares. I’m afraid to go out. I’m afraid to be alone.
I’m having panic attacks. I can’t breathe. I can’t stop shaking. I feel overwhelmed.
I feel like hurting the person who attacked me or lashing out at the world.
Physical Stress
My stomach (or head or back) aches all the time. I feel jittery and don’t want to eat.
The long term consequences of sexual violation are well documented and comprise a wide range of psychological, emotional, physical, and social effects.  These include anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, drug and alcohol addiction, borderline personality disorder, sleep disorders, eating disorders, schizophrenia, psychosis,  grief, post-traumatic reactions, poor self perception, sexual dysfunction, social dysfunction, dysfunction of relationships (including parenting), poor education and employment records, and a range of physical symptoms.  The symptoms in an individual may be specific or general, episodic or chronic.
The percentage of adults who experienced sexual abuse as children and had long term effects is not known, although in one British study 13% of a sample of such adults reported that they had been permanently damaged.

Contact Survivors UK
Twitter - @SurvivorsUK
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FaceBook -


Sophie Smith said...

You left out
'My body betrayed me and I had an orgasm'
How difficult is that to deal with?

Beyond Survivor said...

Many feel guilt or disgust that their bodies reacted to the sexual abuse. These reactions are involuntary however and are not a sign that the abuse was enjoyed.


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