Pushed them away,
Acted like he didn't care,
Did everything he shouldn't have.
He thought it was for the best.
But now what?
They're all happy.
They've all moved on without him.
But there's one solitary life
Left behind.
He knew he didn't deserve them
All he wanted was happiness
For the ones he loves.
Now they have it,
But his heart is gone.
Now all that's left is an empty soul
And thoughts of the memories.
He wonders about them all the time.
Wishes, for just one day,
He could see his friends again
Talk to the ones he loves
Hold them tight.
But he'd never want to let go.
And that's something he can't put upon them.
Not while he is like this anyway.
He can't wish for anyone to accept him.
Because it's an impossible task.
For nobody really knows the whole truth.
What's going on inside that twisted mind,
What's really happening in that upside down world.
He only ever told one person,
His best friend, the one he trusted.
But now he's lost him too,
And with that loss, he's lost himself.
He's lost the one true family
He ever loved or cared for.
He'll never again see his one true love,
They're far apart forever.
Without love, without friends,
He's nothing.
A mere solitary life.
Living in an empty shell.
Carrying on as normal
But a broken heart lies
Deep down inside.
Under the smiles,
Under the laughs.
There's got to be a way out,
And he knows he'll find it,
Whatever it is.
Until then,
He'll fight it all inside.
1 comment:
Deeply emotional poem and truly pains my heart!!!
When we push others away because of the fear of not being accepted, you never give the other people a chance… Everyone is insecure at some level, and when another person pushes them away, they often reel back to protect their hearts… I understand you want others to look deeper and not just see your behavior of pushing them away. Unfortunately, all of us are fearful of getting hurt, and can only tolerate so much pain until we start building up walls of ego defense. If you truly want their friendship and love them, my advise is to talk with them and be honest in that you were afraid they would not accept you, so you pushed them away but you really want them in your life. Live phone can be very threatening, so probably start with email and then phone. Oh yes!!! That takes courage…and mega balls… but it is also your barometer about how much you really care for these people.
What we are willing to risk is a clear indication of the genuineness, Just remember, at some point, everyone gets tired of being hurt, unloved and unaccepted. Yes, by pushing them away, you did NOT accept them. I am sorry if I am being stern with you, I truly believe this is in YOUR best interest. I cannot imagine your terror. ((( HUG )))
~ Nina Fox
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