One of the most painful things I experienced as an after effect of my childhood was the feeling of alienation and "difference" I felt. I stood outside and watched the world through a window, alone. No-one should ever have to feel as isolated and freaky as I did.
I was conditioned to believe that I was bad, in the wrong, a disaster on two legs that deserved no happiness. I believed this propaganda, I believed I was the bad one, the black sheep. I couldn't confide my innermost feelings chosing instead to act the clown, to drink myself into oblivion on the occasions where just living hurt too much.
Often when we are made to believe we are worthless we act accordingly. I know I did.
I was wrong however. No matter what form of abuse you may have had to endure always remember one very important thing. The person in the wrong is NOT you. It can take quite some time to undo the damage done by those that abused us. The damage is often hidden, not all scars are visible. Please believe me that the pain you will feel going from survivor to thriver IS worth it. That was blunt wasn't it? I'm not saying the road will be easy and painfree. Far from it probably. BUT it is a road we must walk in order to regain some of which was ripped from us.
We cannot go back and change the past. What we can do is say enough is enough. Start today to change your thinking, decide that tomorrow belongs to you and not your memories. You will not be alone I promise you. The times they are a changing and it's high time that those that do evil in this world are held accounatable and the innocent victims are given the respect and the support that is sadly frequently lacking.
Do not suffer in silence. The more of us that speak out, the more of us that decide to stop being victims, then the more of us there will be to stand tall and no longer feel that we are living outside the fire. There is strength in numbers! We need to show the world how much evil is done behind closed doors. Be you a victim of sexual, physical or emotional abuse. NOW is the time to say STOP!
There is much more awareness regarding abuse than there was a few years ago. There are support groups online as well as a growing number in the "real" world. In the year or so that I've been blogging I have seen many more advocates and support groups than there were.
There is no shame in being abused. The shame belongs firmly at the feet of those evil twisted perpetrators that tried to destroy us.
OUR time is NOW!
This is for you my fellow survivors, whoever and wherever you are. Male, female, whatever colour your skin and whatever your sexual preference. We stand together.
1 comment:
I remember feeling like I was always outside looking in when I was a child and even young adult. That feeling changed when I learned to love myself.
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