Male Victims Of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Many men who were sexually victimised as children find themselves faced with a difficult challenge as an adult. The skills they used as a child tend to be counter productive in later life. The long term, damaging effects of silence became more painful than the risks of speaking out, transforming and healing.  

The effects of sexual abuse on men include:

• Depression and Anxiety
• Self Blame and Shame
• Tendency to be Over Controlling or Too Submissive
• Inability to Trust
•  Flashbacks and Invasive Thoughts
• Difficulty Forming and Maintaining Healthy Relationships with Oneself and Others
• Anger and Rage
• Dissociative Identity Disorder
• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
• Self-Destructive Behaviour
• Sleep Disorders
• Addictions
• Confusion around Sexual Identity
• Stress Related Illness
•  Sense of loss, helplessness, isolation and alienation
• Dissatisfaction with Life
• Never Feeling Good Enough or Worthy
• Problems Defining Healthy Sexuality
• Guilt and Self Blame
• Suicidal Thoughts or Attempts
• Distorted View of Healthy Masculinity

Adult and teenage males might also feel that they are "less of a man" and that their masculinity has been compromised. Male survivors may also feel a crippling feeling of worthlessness from the notion that they could not protect themselves from a sexual attack and that they were somehow conquered and emasculated. This can lead male victims to question their ability to be what they, and society dictates, is a "man" and to question their masculinity as a whole. 

The feelings of worthlessness may be strengthened due to involuntary erection or ejaculation during the sexual assault. However, those physical reactions can be the result of extreme fear and stress as well as the "stimulation" of the assault.

Male sexual assault survivors should always be reminded that the assault was an act of violence and not one of a consensual, sexual nature.Their physical reaction was no different than that of an involuntary response such as a sneeze or a yawn.

Unfortunately sexual victimisiation is still mostly seen as a female issue, with men being the aggressors. The truth is very different and in turn the resources available to victims are mostly aimed at female victims. Whilst many of the effects of sexual victimisation are similar in both sexes, there are differences; some distinct and others more subtle.  A one fix approach for both sexes will NOT work. 

The prevalence of childhood sexual abuse is now becoming more recognised and more men are coming forward to disclose their own experiences. The resources to help them, either with the disclosure process or the healing that follows, are few and far between. 

Whilst the publicity around the high profile cases does shed more light onto this most heinous of crimes, the reality is, that most abuse is familial, unreported and therefore unrecorded. Change MUST come. There is no shame or blame on the head of the victim, despite what their preconceived or conditioned thoughts, may be.