Thursday, 16 October 2025

Coping Mechanisms for Survivors of Abuse

 The coping mechanisms you used as a child helped you function during the times you were being abused. Even though these coping mechanisms were functional at the time, many are no longer constructive in present life situations. As an adult you have more options than you did as a child. You are now able to identify coping mechanisms/patterns of behaviour which are less constructive and/or self destructive and substitute others which will help you cope better in your current life.


 Here are coping mechanisms by type:
Here is a full list of coping mechanisms:
More information on the above lists can be found at Changing Minds 


Other unconscious coping strategies can include the way our minds deal with a constant barrage of stress. People in the psychiatric field suggest that mental illnesses tend to be coping mechanisms that evolve from certain stresses. For example, multiple personality disorder may result in children who are severely abused. Panic disorder may be the body’s coping mechanisms for inappropriate fight/flight reactions to minor stresses. Some mental illnesses also have a genetic basis, but stress certainly often plays a role in making these illnesses more severe. 

We also learn coping mechanisms as we progress through life. Some people tend toward coping mechanisms that are helpful, while others choose defense mechanisms that can actually increase stress. The person who uses stress as a reason to exercise is learning and expressing a healthy coping mechanism. The person who turns to alcohol or drugs, eating disorders, or workaholic behavior is using coping mechanisms that are both dangerous and unhealthy.

Both children and adults can benefit from learning coping mechanisms from mental health professionals, especially when they are suffering from mental illness, or have turned to unhealthy forms of dealing with stress. In this sense, coping mechanisms are a set of practiced and learned behaviors that help us better respond to stress. We may not always be able to control the amount of adrenaline that pumps through our bodies in stressful situations, but many therapists believe we can learn to control our reaction to it.
Many times, people who experience high “fight/flight” reactions actually amp up their own stress by their coping mechanisms, creating more adrenaline boost than is needed. Learning to recognize the body’s tendency toward these highly charged states and altering behavior accordingly can reduce the length of time a person stays in the charged state, and reduce the body’s continued need to produce adrenaline to cope with danger that does not really exist. Coping mechanisms in the therapeutic sense can involve meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, and recognition of the body’s inappropriate response to stress. These are only a few of the coping mechanisms that can be learned through therapy. They can result in fewer incidences of panic, inappropriate anger, or turning to unhelpful behaviors like using alcohol to dull stress.
People who have developed mental illness as a coping strategy benefit by learning therapeutic coping mechanisms, and by taking medication that can help reduce the symptoms of mental illness. A schizophrenic who hallucinates may be aided by the coping mechanisms provided by anti-psychotic drugs. Anti-anxiety medications can assist the person with frequent panic attacks. The gold standard in treating inappropriate coping mechanisms is to gradually replace these with therapy and medication that can help reduce inappropriate coping responses.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave.
CBT cannot remove your problems, but can help you manage them in a more positive way. It encourages you to examine how your actions can affect how you think and feel. CBT is very useful in helping learn new and beneficial coping mechanisms.
In a relatively short time you can unlearn negative or unhealthy coping mechanisms and replace them with constructive, healthy and appropriate ones. 

Thursday, 11 September 2025

Working With Your Inner Child - The Little Boy In Me

 


  • Discovering Your Inner Child

Everyone has a inner child but for some they are more apparent than others, this is because when someone has gone through trauma at a young age, the child can't cope with what is happening so he/she goes somewhere deep inside and hides away for their own protection whilst another part of you takes over from that child. As you get older and go through more and more bad experiences the body breaks into more parts, these parts of you are called the inner child.
The part that doesn't want to grow up and likes to play still and has immature emotions and ways, this is your inner child. As an adult you become more aware of your inner child because part of you has grown up with age but that little you who had to hide deep inside all those years ago will one day want to come out when they feel safe to do so,
This can sound quite an experience to go through but it can be an enjoyable part of the healing journey and also fun, you can discover your inner child in many ways as detailed under Working with your inner child.
Take some time to get to know your inner child and learn to comfort them and help them to grow up with you; it's the right path for inner healing.
Getting To Know Your Inner Child 
This part can be fun and rewarding but also very sad and difficult as you get to know your inner child you will understand gradually things that happened to you as a child, the good and unfortunately the bad too.
Just keep reminding the little you that you are safe now and your adult you will look after little you.
As you get to know your little one you can learn to love yourself and you will soon realise that the abuse that happened to you was in fact not your fault.
As you start to remember or re-visit the past make sure you are with someone who can support you and that you feel safe, try and not be alone as this can lead to damaging effects on you, you have all ready been hurt enough and you don't need any more pain to have to experience.
Take your time and enjoy getting to know the little you and eventually when you have got to know her/him you can begin to heal the damaged past years.
Healing Your Inner Child
Healing your inner child takes a lot of time and needs to be done with great care, it can also be fun, you have to remember that this inner child has been very hurt and traumatized but he/she is a part of you.... a big part of you that holds the key to those parts of your life that you thought were missing.
It is possible to heal the inner child with the right support and you have to want to heal him/her and get to know them, it won’t be easy and needs to be taken at your own pace.
To heal the inner child you will have to visit parts of your past that you might not want to but all the time reassuring the little you that they are safe now and that you as an adult will protect them.
There are lots of resources and books etc for self help on healing the inner child or there is therapy. Working with a therapist you can write to your inner child and learn to let him/her have a voice so that you can understand your little you so that healing is possible.
Take time getting to know your inner child and accept that you have one so that you can work together. Remember your little one has been locked away for years after going through a lot of pain.
He/she needs to be loved and to feel safe and cared for and accepted so they can grow up with you 
Working With Your Inner Child
Once you have discovered your Inner child you can learn to relate to him/her and then start to work with them,
It is best to work with a therapist who understands the inner child and there are some books you can work through too.
Things you can do yourself?
You can write letters to your inner child and get him/her to reply, this way you can get to know one another.
You can let your inner child play... play dough is fun you can also get rid of a lot of stress fondling with play dough, try and remember what your favourite games were as a child and play some . This can be fun and healing.
If you ever feel your inner child is insecure and lonely you could try wrapping yourself up in a comfy blanket and rocking yourself telling your little one inside its ok.