scattered, helpless to overcome
them as I was overcome
these broken images of my soul
condemn me, damning me for
that which I was unable to change
once again grieving the loss of
myself relentlessly questioning
how many times one can suffer thus
and continue crying and breathing
and cutting and bleeding
mourn the loss, this shard of your soul
turned against you, to pierce you
then plunged into the silent abyss,
the whispered terror of this hatred
1991
NOVEMBER 10, 2011 HOUSTON CHRONICLE Article by Mike Tolson
ReplyDeleteSUICIDE TWEETS POINT TO ABUSE
This is an open letter to Ashley Billasano and the world
Dear Ashley,
I am so sorry I couldn't hear your cries for justice. Your pain that you lived with over 4 years - dear child - if you only knew you were not alone. Not alone with the sexual abuse you endured. Not alone in your inability to receive justice. Not alone in your first suicide attempt. Not alone in your fight to make people understand the devastating effects of sexual abuse.
You left this earth on Monday, November 7, 2011 when your second suicide attempt succeeded. Ashley, I know you can hear me, and I will not let your death be in vain. I will not let your voice go unheard. I wish you were here so that I could hug you and tell you to hang on. That you were never alone. You will never be alone.
Please rest in peace sweetheart. I will fight your fight.
Love,
Randa Fox Notonourwatch.net STOP THE SILENCE NOOW
"grieving the loss of myself"
ReplyDeleteThat phrase really hit me. I've been there so often.
Shards: a way in which WE have always looked at DID - our 'symptoms', our being a multiple being. The hammer came down one too many times; breaking the diamond . . . and now the 'shards' of personality remain - each one distinct and different - and yet in ways the same; some lost and not recovered; some buried by shame . . .
ReplyDeleteShards. A good word for the inside of us because shards cut sometimes . . .
haunting...completely and utterly haunting!
ReplyDelete