Like you I had a bad experience as a boy but I find the thought of it no longer bothers me. I tend to think of it as happening to someone else, a different me that was less able to defend himself. I wondered if the technique I used might help you. I imagine myself up until the point where the door is closed but instead of being pushed inside, I dip under their arms and run away. I have re-enforced this over the years and it takes the panic out of it. The situation is gradually reduced to something like a play which you are watching but which does not involve you and you can get away.
Like you I had a bad experience as a boy but I find the thought of it no longer bothers me. I tend to think of it as happening to someone else, a different me that was less able to defend himself. I wondered if the technique I used might help you. I imagine myself up until the point where the door is closed but instead of being pushed inside, I dip under their arms and run away. I have re-enforced this over the years and it takes the panic out of it. The situation is gradually reduced to something like a play which you are watching but which does not involve you and you can get away.
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