Introducing Zizi Mpuku #Poet #Lyricist #Rape #Survivor

My name is Zizi Mpuku a 26 year old woman from South Africa.

At 16 I was gang raped twice and the trauma of it all has left me damaged inside and outside.

I suffer from Depression but after each and every painful tear I always find a reason to smile and care. Mentally and emotionally I'm messed up but by God's grace I know it will all get better with time.

I don't have the passion and the drive for writing anymore and I want it back with all my heart. I want my intelligence back and I want my God given gift back.

I'm a song and poetry writer and one day I'd also love to write a biography. I pray you'll like my poetry and understand that most of it was written while I was still in a very dark place.

Heartless Heart

What kind of heart has no shame, feels no pain, craves no gain, shares no care, is not fair?
What kind of heart is speechless, hopeless, careless, useless, helpless?
Forgive me you for I have sinned. Forgive me you for I have killed. Not by the hand nor by the heart. But by my deeds, my thoughts and my sayings.
Forgive me you for I am heartless.

What kind of heart does not bleed, does not weep, does not feed, does not feel, does not heal?
What kind of heart does not laugh, does not smile, gives no love, knows no law, hears no call?
Forgive me you for I have mastered the laws of matrimony.
Forgive me you for I cannot give any testimony.
Not by the eyes, the ears, the mouth, the heart, the soul, but by my scars inside, outside and all over.

Forgive me you for I cannot forget. Forgive me you for I can never forgive. Forgive me you for I have a heartless heart.

Written at 17

It Was Raining The Night They Came

It was raining the night they came. People were locked inside their homes safe n sound.
The sun had disappeared so fast as if it would never be found.
Back then I thought I was a princess even though I'd never been crowned.
Little did I know that all my pride and joy would be drowned.
Never in my life will I forget how It was raining the night they came.

Rain, how I used to praise you, how I used to fall asleep at the sound of your song. How I despise you now, how I don't trust the sound of your song, how I'm always listening for the other sound behind yours.

It was raining the night they came.
If only night had never come.
I would now know how to stay calm.
Life would still be in the middle of my palm.
How I've been dying to tell someone how it was raining the night they came.

Rain, how you broke your promise of protection and peace to me, how you camouflaged them n left me bare to their vision, how I don't trust u anymore, how I'm always peeping through windows to see what you're hiding behind your song.

It was raining the night they came.
When they stripped me of my pride and left me in embarrassment.
When they made sure all they would give me would be harassment.
When without any crime they left me with punishment.
How I'm dying to show someone one day, how it was raining the night they came.
(Written at 21).