I would like to introduce you to David Pittman from Together We Heal.
David has kindly let me share this recent article. Together We Heal is for those who have suffered the trauma of CSA. We are survivors! Provide a safe forum, educate those who seek info and expose the predators.
How To Stop Child Sexual Abuse.
Based on an article I read from Cynthia Bland of the group Voicefound.ca, I want to expand on their points and share with you what our children are depending on us to do – How To Stop Child Sexual Abuse.
As I have told you in previous articles, the statistics of child sexual abuse (CSA) are beyond the pale – 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 3 girls are sexually assaulted by the age of 18. As I have also written, "stranger danger is a myth". It's not the unknown that our children have to be leery, it's the ones we know best; our clergy, teachers, caregivers and yes, even family members – they are the ones that are ALMOST ALWAYS guilty of stealing the innocence of our children. The statistics vary, but not by much, somewhere in the neighborhood of 90-95% of all CSA transgressions are by those we KNOW and TRUST. That's right, the ones that molest, rape, sodomize and abuse our children are NOT strangers…they are our pastors, our 5th grade teachers, our fathers and aunts, and even sometimes they are the child down the street that plays with our kids. I recently read an article about an 8 yr. old molesting a 7 yr. old that lived just two doors down – a trusted neighborhood child.
As a survivor of sexual abuse by a member of the clergy, I know all too well how this trust is built up and then destroyed. It's called "grooming" but the bottom line, it's how these trusted ones get inside the psyche of a child and use their authority over them to sexually and psychologically control them, as my youth minister did me. Its why the vast majority, like myself, are unable to speak out against these predators until it's too late, until the statute of limitations has passed and they can no longer be held legally responsible. It is for this reason that we as adults are now held to a higher standard to protect our children. They cannot protect or speak out for themselves, so we have got to.
Here is what we CAN and MUST do to protect our children:
1) Learn the Facts
Stranger Danger is a myth – Learn the facts about CSA. Realities, Not Trust, Should Influence Your Decisions Regarding Children.
2) Minimize Opportunity
If you eliminate or reduce one-adult/one-child situations, you'll dramatically lower the risk of sexual abuse for children.
3) Talk About It
Children Often Keep Abuse a Secret, but Barriers Can Be Broken Down by Talking Openly.
4) Stay Alert
Don't Expect Obvious Signs When a Child is Being Sexually Abused. Signs Are Often There But You've Got to Spot Them. You also need to have good relationships with coaches, teachers, etc., so you can find out what they know.
5) Make a Plan
Learn Where to Go, Whom to Call, and How to React. Find the resources that will give you the tools you need to help you and your child.
6) Act on Suspicions
Pay attention to that "little voice". If something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't.
7) Get Involved
Volunteer and financially support organizations such as "Voice Found", "Together We Heal" and "Beyond Survivor" that work to prevent childhood sexual abuse and help those who have already suffered the trauma to heal.
It is only by working together can we help prevent CSA. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask questions. If you don't learn how to protect your children, then who will?
More articles from Together We Heal can be found here:-
TOGETHER WE HEAL
Together We Heal is for those who have suffered the trauma of child molestation. We are here to give aid to those in need, educate any who seek info and expose the predators and their methods.
There is a real need to change statute of limitation laws on child molestation and abuse. We are here to help promote that change and provide a safe forum for victims of abuse to share, learn and heal.
"One person cannot change the world, but you can change the world of one person" - Help us do just that.....
Please follow us on Twitter @Together_WeHeal
Excellent post and so accurate. Reading it triggered my own memories. My father was the last, and the worst of the abusers, but definitely not the first. I touch on some of these in the memoir I'm now writing about my own story of incest. Thanks for reminding me of those I had blocked out. They will find their way into my book too.
ReplyDeleteHorrible but true.I am glad people are talking about this.I can't imagine this happening to my gals.
ReplyDeleteTo Cruiseroo..while I am sorry u had to experience the pain from being triggered, I hear u saying that it ultimately helped u work through some things u needed to. If there is anything we can do for you here at "Together We Heal", please do not hesitate to reach out...our twitter name is listed above and if u contact me I will gladly share my other contact info. We have counselors who work with us at no charge. We will never turn away anyone because they dont have funds. David Pittman
ReplyDeleteSo David. I just want to say "thank you"! And the exclamation mark stand for 1000 times over. I am not a survivor of sexual abuse or incest but have friends (many) who are. I hear and feel their pain often, but they experience it every single day of their lives. Years and years of therapy, loving spouses and relationships help, but what helps most is "PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT IT". Let's not be shameful or prideful anymore. Shame, guilt, and pride keep secrets. We (together, survivors and supporters) must stop the cycles. I applaud you all for speaking out in the efforts to help support and prevent.
ReplyDeleteI know that being triggered is painful. I take it as a sign that I am on the right trail and that more healing is needed. If I am triggered, it shows me that another layer is rising to the surface to be worked on, healed and then let go of. I also use triggers as a sign that my inner children need comforting and I do something that I know they will enjoy after having an internal dialogue with one or more of them.
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