Lovelorn

I was among people,
among friends, I suppose,
but so estranged
from mental sparring,
intellectual jousting,
from unwording anyone
who happened to ride
upon a phrase.
Tilting an alleged fact
at an opponent,
the diversion failed,
and for all the world
I wanted to rush outside
and walk the streets
not knowing where,
as if I could chance
to find you
walking the streets,
somewhere,
as sleepless as I was.
I wanted to sieze
the first telephone box
and dial your number,
to hear your voice,
instead of all the other voices
of the world talking
at each other,
with not a word from you
and all I could do
was repeat your name
to the sky
as if you could hear me
telling you I love you.
When we love someone
we cannot go looking
uninvited,
for whom we love,
and must forge chains
to hold ourselves
from passionate pursuit
those chains
as then must chain
heart, mind and body
to ache and strain
against constraints,
keeping to one's self
all that one would express
if only the other were near
and would allow
such expressions.