What indeed is love?

I strated this blog last year with a different aim in mind to what it became. The original name of the blog was "What Is Love?"....

During the early days the abuse issues had not resurfaced. When they did I devoted this blog to writing about abuse, survival, memories and later added in poetry on a wider subject matter.

So... Back to basics for this post.

LOVE

It is probably the most written about topic ever.

Love is a many-splendored thing,
It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.
Once on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,
Yes, true love's a many-splendored thing.

Indeed it possibly is. To say those three words "I Love You" can have so much affect. Being told it can also do the same.

I am going to write about Conditional and Unconditional love. Some say true love is and most certainly should be unconditional.  To love and be loved is the goal of the majority of people. How you love though can dramatically change the way it is perceived.

The problem of conditional love is most apparent in marriage or civil unions. In our current culture, a relationship is frequently a union of two independent people, sometimes fiercely independent, which turns into a power struggle, each of them asserting their respective "identities" and "rights." Love is related to the performance of the other person. Each seeks to achieve his or her goals with little emphasis on common goals. These may appear harsh statements, but think on it....

The aim should be in the joy of doing things, even simple things which anybody can do, for the person you love. It is particularly impressive when the act is one which the other person could easily have done for himself or herself. Rather than looking upon such events as sacrifices, they are investments in a happy relationship, not a loss of identity. Yes, there are problems: money, health, children's behavior, differences in taste. The old expression "give and take" applies, but it should be done not only with one's personal desires in mind, but also with the aim of helping the other person achieve his or her goals.

If I fell in love with you
would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'Cause I've been in love before
And I've found that love is more
That just holding hands
If I gave my heart to you
I must be sure from the very start
that you would love me more than her
If I trust in you, oh please
don't run and hide,
if I love you too, oh please
don't hurt my pride like her


Love for loves sake... To use love as a tool devalues it. Conditional love asks for something in return, it has a condition! This sort of love is distructive, it demands a price.

Unconditional love is love that is given without any "conditions" or demands.  This is a love that has no limits or boundaries, it does not possess, or dictate, or require a price. It is freely given without expectation. Hope yes, of being loved in return, but it is an almost selfless love.

Love me as though there were no tomorrow;
Take me out of this world tonight.
Take me; make me forget my sorrow,
So when I wake tomorrow, I'll know our love was right.
Kiss me as though it were now of never;
Teach me all that a heart should know.
Love me as though there were no tomorrow;
Oh my darling, love me; don't ever let me go.
Kiss me as though it were now or never;
Teach me all that a heart should know.
Love me as though there were no tomorrow;
Oh my darling, love me; don't ever let me go

Unconditional love is frequently referred to as true love. That which is given without thought or question. This "just love" is that of which many have written poems, songs and books. The love that fills the senses, lifts us up, spins us around and leaves us dizzy with its intensity.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7


With Christmas a month away I will finish with this.... Maybe the greatest gift of love ever.



I'll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door

Feels like fire
I'm so in love with you
Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay, bad at bay
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away, yeah
I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I'll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door
When the chips are down I'll be around
With my undying, death-defying
Love for you
Envy will hurt itself
Let yourself be beautiful
Sparkling love, flowers
And pearls and pretty girls
Love is like an energy
Rushin' rushin' inside of me

This time we go sublime
Lovers entwine-divine divine
Love is danger, love is pleasure
Love is pure-the only treasure
I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
The power of love
A force from above
A sky-scraping dove
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I'll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door