I am a MALE survivor of CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE. This is my place to offload, share and let go. This blog also contains articles from other sources and guest posts. Have a seat, kick off your shoes and join me. Leave your prejudices at the door, open your mind and learn. Please leave a comment, I appreciate feedback. WARNING some of the contents of this blog might cause triggering. Caution.... This blog may contain nuts. All posts ©
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Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Memory
I forget so many things, lose time, lose me.
So many things I have been told I did
It wasn't, couldn't have been me.
I am so tired, though I sleep
I dream being awake, real dreams
Nightmares sometimes though.
I see places I know, but have never been
I see faces I know but have never met
I see me, but don't know who I am.
Deja vu scares me, as does my reticence to share
So few I can trust, yet there are those,
Who I know, have known forever, but never met yet.
In my life I have met, less than 5 whom I know
And knew before. As I step towards tomorrow I see,
Strangely some new ones, waiting for me.
If I seem too familiar, to happy to share,
Just remember that you have always been there
Though you have never seen me before.
Now I have seen, where my future path leads,
It is with another, who suffered like me,
Together, new memories we'll share.
This is wonderful gives me hope ... I had to recently lose more "friends" and I use that term loosely ...thank you for this ..
ReplyDeleteHi Nico and thanks for all your comments. I really appreciate that you have taken the time to get in touch. If you are following me on Twitter please get in touch there.
ReplyDeleteThanks and Hugs
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh you hit my heart with each one of your writings .... I feel a lump in my throat ... and heat a good one ... and tears ... good tears and feeling safer ... you have helped me so much ... thank you so much ... my new family means so much to me .... I don't know how to call you brother yet ... because it's a bad word still to me but the saying of sister scared me and i loved it and felt wanted for the first time in a long time ....
ReplyDeleteLosing periods of time and having others accuse you of something you have no memory of would be terrifying. I fear that you have been targeted not only in your childhood by also by those that still do not understand. There is hope in your words. I sincerely wish for all your happiness and to find someone that is willing to fully listen… truly understand and accept you for just YOU! And nothing more or less.
ReplyDelete~ Nina