All too often, male survivors begin their recovery, in the knowledge that it is possible, however painful it may be to recover, then they suddenly back off and stop working on the issues that made them call us in the first place!
So what's the answer to this, and how you can ensure that you wont this and wont be the one who doesn't fail at the first hurdle either.
That kind of response can cause you to think that the abuse you suffered wasn't that bad, it only happened a few times, but I can also guarantee that no matter what was done to you, or how long the abuse lasted, it has had the same devastating effects and affects upon you
Therefore, you deserve to be part of a group and should be complaining about the abuse you suffered, as its caused enough damage to you and those around you.
So no matter how long it lasted, or what you suffered, please don't feel like a fraud or that you don't deserve support, because you do.
Some people, even loved ones, don't want you to change without them, so try to stop you doing so. They won't help you, dragging you back to the past and feeling like you have for ages, which just reminds you of the past, perhaps by telling you how bad or sad you are, and will slowly drag you back down to their level
You know that you should listen and perhaps wait, but ignore that and fall back into old habits, thoughts, feelings
BUILDING UP A BANK BALANCE:
Again, this is about storing old resentments, or behaviours up - saving them up, manufacturing resentments, hurt, blame, etc.
You store them up, and when it becomes too much for you, so you can explode or implode, revert back to previous actions and lifestyles, and before you know it, you're back at the beginning, lacking commitment to start again, and consider yourself to be a failure, again!
Do I give I myself permission to feel to be vulnerable?
Who will I ask to help me?
2. Identifying the cues and triggers that set you off, and make feel that way.
3. Start to use the coping skills that work for you.
You need to remain alert to the dangers that are ever present;
Remember - Facing up to and coping with risks will build up your confidence.
Friends who will support you, and hold you steady as you work towards your goals
Supporters who will ensure you stay straight, in thinking and using modes
How to do this?
Sit down and write a list of people that can and will help you through this..safe people! Then ask those people you list to actually take on the roles required. Make sure you use them when needed and call them when you need and don't need to, safety first, second and third!