When asked what is meant by a personal boundary, often the response is confusion, as it is hard to maintain boundaries when you have been sexually abused.
Personal boundaries define you as a person, stating what is normal and not normal and also, more importantly, what is you and not you, and where someone else's boudaries begin and end.
In the same way that you keep the front door of your house closed, you should also be aware of what could be intrusive in your life, and be aware that some other people also don't have an idea of personal boundaries, as they tend to take advantage of you and use you again and again. There is also the real risk that if you have no personal boundaries, that you could become intrusive to others.
All of your personal boundaries become blurred and often you find people walking all over you, taking advantage of you, and you end up feeling abused, all over again, so have a read of the following and see if it makes sense.
Here are three common myths we end up with:
So start practising how to set personal boundaries, by saying NO to the bad things that you are asked or expected to do. How? By listening to your body and how it reacts when you are asked, and if your first instinct is to take a deep breathe, that means NO, so say it, and don't fall into the trap of having to justify it either.
Avoid reacting to someone, or something, and instead respond to it, because by doing that, you stay in control, retain your options and choices, but of you react to the situation, you often end up with more problems relating to your personal boundaries and how they failed to kick in.
Think of it this way; By allowing someone to be able to cause havoc in YOUR life, by doing or saying something that hurts or harms you, gives them control over you again, and allows them to make you feel that you are being abused again.
If you react, they control you and your feelings, but respond appropriatly and you remain in control.
After all, survivors need to remain in control at all times, as that is what has kept us safe all this time.
This article copyright Amsosa UK. www.amsosa.com