All too often, we tend to spend too much time looking back on the abuse we have already survived, and instead of living our lives, we give the past too much importance over who we are now, as opposed to what and who we were when abused.
Why listen to someone who has not experienced what you have and believe what they tell you? If they are fully experienced in working with male survivors, by all means listen and talk to them, but don't allow anyone else to try and convince you that you were bad, complicit, wrong, dirty, or whatever negatives that tend to throw your way, because they have no idea how you think and feel.
This confusion often occurs because we are told or ill informed that the abuse defines us, but in reality it does not, as we were victims of sexual abuse or rape, but from day one, we became survivors and thrivors of sexual abuse and rape.
So how to get beyond that and start to feel better about who you are?
Denial, shock, horror, pain, guilt, fears etc, are all common parts of the recovery process, but will diminish as time goes past.
There is not an original act of abuse that has been done to you, just your version, so it has been heard before, and there should be no guilt or shame attached to what you need to say, in order to recover.
Break that barrier and you will see that hope is possible and that life is waiting. Don't buy into the bullshit version that life is just an existence, just live your life!
Although one to one counselling is of great benefit and allows you to build up trust and often say things you would never usually say, group therapy, listening and speaking to others, greatly enhances your recovery and allows you to see that you are really not alone, and never were.