Dissociative identity disorder
My masks are different characters with strengths and weaknesses that compliment the whole. Everybody can put on a mask, in my case it became my means of survival. Over the years they have been numerous but have come down to about three.
Danny is basically confident, flirty, eloquent, charming and unafraid of risks. Good at business and financially astute.
Zachary Is a reckless, moody teenager at heart! He loses his temper easily and acts like a spoilt brat at times. He is very protective of the "inner child", the core being. He likes possessions, he likes to spend. He also likes his alcohol..
Jon is the child as an adult. Dysfunctional, depressive, anxiety ridden, emotionally cold, subservient and afraid of everything. A hopeless romantic who always falls for the wrong person.
Together they make up ME. These names have been inside me since I was about ten years old. Zach was first, followed by John then much later, Danny.
They are the guardians of my inner child, my wounded warrior.
I have had different masks in the past, even female ones.
Over the years "I" have lost time. I didn't slip into some time/space fracture. I can only assume that a guardian had taken full control. I was tested for epilepsy some years ago. It was negative.
I frequently get what I have called "waves" across my head. A feeling of spacing out, sometimes accompanied by nausea. Occasionally I can totally phase out. Then time is lost. A few people have come to recognise these times and apparently when I am phased out I act as a totally "normal" human being. Well normal in that I eat, speak etc.
I think the guardians know more than me.....
So, here I am. Should I say here we are. I just don't know.
Time will tell I am sure.
UPDATE....... September 2011
I was contacted via Twitter last night and asked to explain further the relationship between these guardians.
A good friend of mine last night said she hadn't known about my masks. It got me thinking. If she remembers many years ago my appearance would change quite dramatically. She even said this to me last week but she was referring to expressions more than appearance I think.
To go back to the first question.
Jon is nearly always present, it is only when the phase outs happen that Jon is totally blanked out. The rest of the time feels like a party going on inside my head. I do not see them as separate entities, more aspects of the whole. We are Borg.....
During a chat with a friend recently it transpires I was wrong...
Danny was the first split. He is also now the only one, other than myself, that remains.
In my twenties I was even going to change my name... Daniel Benjamin Frayzerman.
Three times in the last year Danny has held independent conversations with others online. Well, three times that I know of.
Jon and Zachary intergrated before Christmas 2011. Now I need to sort out Danny.
Update.... October 2013
I'm all alone!